Chapter 51
Work, sleep, mope, walk Chucky – the days dragged on with very little change.
At work, Brittney finished all the required training and went out on her own. She was still rude and barely competent, but at least she wasn't my problem anymore. True, I saw her more often than I liked, but she barely spoke to me, and I was happy to return the favor.
Slowly, but surely, those with the flu were returning back to work. I kept waiting for the axe to fall, but somehow it never did.
Instead, I kept getting the worst shifts on the worst nights. I was the first to get sent home and the last to be called in when someone else was sick. I should've cared, but somehow, I couldn't make myself give it more than a passing thought.
Slowly, but surely, I was sinking deeper into a financial hole. But I'd been sinking so long that I was almost used to it. So I did what I always did. I sent out resumes, went on interviews, and curbed any expense I could think of.
At the Parkers, I worked hard to keep myself busy, cleaning, organizing, and consoling Chucky as best I could. For both our sakes, I'd started walking him along a different route, avoiding Lawton's place like the plague it had become.
To my surprise and relief, he kept his promise. I missed him. I thought about him every day. I longed to feel his arms around me and hear his voice in my ear. But wanting him so bad that it made my heart ache didn't mean I should go back to him.
I was on my third week of moping when the sound of the doorbell woke me from a nap on the couch. With weary resignation, I dragged myself up and stumbled, still half asleep, to the door and peered out the peephole.
Who I saw there didn't make me happy. I opened the door and glared at him. "What do you want?"
If Bishop was surprised by my rudeness, he gave no indication. "Got a minute?"
"No."
"That's too bad," he said. "Because I came to apologize."
When I didn't respond, he added, "From what I hear, girls like that sort of thing."
I narrowed my gaze. "Is this some kind of trick?"
"No trick," he said. "I'm assuming you're not gonna invite me in?"
"Got that right."
"Figured as much. Wanna talk outside?"
"Not particularly," I said.
"But you will anyway."
"What makes you say that?"
"Because you're curious what I'll say." He flicked his head toward the interior of the house. "Go ahead, grab a coat. I'll wait here."
"Yeah, you do that," I said, slamming the door in his face.
I stalked back to the couch and threw myself down on it, determined to go back to sleep. Whatever he was planning to say, I didn't want to hear it. What would he say, anyway? Was he really going to apologize? And if so, for what, specifically?
I closed my eyes and tried to drift. That lasted less than five minutes. It was no use. I was curious. "Damn it," I muttered and got up to retrieve my coat.
I went outside, slamming the front door behind me.
He was still there.
"You got five minutes," I told him.
"Alright," he said. "But just so you know, I'm going to save the actual apology for the end, so you don't run off before."
"Fine. As long as you're within five minutes." I made a show of looking at my wrist.
Bishop glanced down at my empty wrist. "That only works if you're wearing a watch."
"Not if you got the message."
"Fair enough." He glanced past me to the Parkers' front door. "A while back, I went into that house when you weren't home."
I made my eyes obnoxiously wide. "You did? I had no idea." I put a finger to my chin. "Gee, did you do anything else, by any chance?"
"I went through your purse. I checked out your license." He shrugged. "Gave the dog a few snacks. He seemed to like the bacon ones best."
"Is there an apology coming any time soon?" I asked.
"Alright. I shouldn’t have done it. And I apologize."
"So," I said, "Lawton told you that I knew about that, huh?"
"Yup."
"Let me ask you something. If I had never found out, would you still be apologizing?"
"Nope."
"And why is that?
"Because I'm not stupid."
"You really are a dick, you know that, right?"
"Hey, have I ever denied it?"
"No. But I kind of wish you would. You really know how to take the fun out of it."
"I'll keep that in mind."
I narrowed my gaze. "Did Lawton make you do this? Because it seems to me, you're a little late to the whole apology parade."
"No. And he doesn't know I'm here."
"So why are you?"
"Because he loves you, and I don't want to be the one standing in the way of that."
"Don't worry," I said. "It's not you. For starters, he thinks I'm a damn hooker."
Bishop grinned. "I think you set him straight on that."
"Oh, shut up." I crossed my arms. "So, tell me, why'd you do it? Why'd you go through my things?"
"You got a younger brother, right?"
I nodded.
"Let me ask you something. What would you do to protect him?"
I didn't even bother lying. "Just about anything," I said.
"Well, there you go."
"But he didn't need protection from me," I said.
Bishop only shrugged.
"How'd you get in here, anyway," I said.
"Now that, I'm not gonna answer."
"Why not?"
"Trade secret," he said.
"Oh for crying out loud. Fine, let me ask you something else. Those guys who attacked me, what happened with that? Why wouldn't they report you to the police?"
"Because they know better."
"And why would you do that, anyway?"
"Do what?"
"Oh for crying out loud. You undressed them. You –"
"Technically," Bishop said, "they undressed themselves."
I gave Bishop a dubious look. "Willingly?"
"Sort of."
"Uh-huh," I said. "So then, you shove them in a trunk and drop them off in a public place. And the way it sounds, you threaten them on top of it."
"Is that a complaint?" Bishop said. "You think we should've let it go? Pretend it didn't happen?"
"I don’t know what I think," I said.
"Want my take on it?"
"Not really."
"I'll take that as a yes," he said. "Whether you admit it or not, you're glad we did it. For what they did, they deserved it. So we gave it to 'em. But now that it's all done, and some time has passed, you want the luxury of feeling bad about it."
"I don't feel bad for them," I said.
"You're right. You don't. Not deep down. But it makes you feel good to think you do."
"You're so full of it," I said.
"Hey, I'm not complaining," he said. "It's the way it works. Some people, they do the things that need doing. And others, they get to sit back, nice and safe, with clean hands and a cleaner conscience." He shrugged. "I'm alright with that. And so is Lawton."
"But you beat the hell out of them," I said.
"No," he said. "Lawton beat the hell out of 'em. And you know damn well he could've hurt 'em a hell of a lot worse."
"Maybe he didn't need to hurt them at all," I said. "I mean, you guys embarrassed the crap out of them. Wasn't that enough?"
"Lemme put it this way. You're the girl he loves. Those guys? They scared you. They hurt you. You remember that night, right?"
I nodded, swallowing the fear and desperation I'd felt at the time.
"Yeah," Bishop said as if reading my mind. "There was two of them and one of you." Slowly, he shook his head. "Lawton couldn’t let that go. And if you don't get that, maybe you don't know him as well as you think."
I heard myself ask, "How's he doing?" Probably, I shouldn't care. But I did care. I cared so damn much, I could hardly stand it.
Bishop shook his head. "Not good. But you didn't hear it from me."
I didn't know what to say to that, so I said nothing except a brief goodbye and headed back inside, closing the door behind me.
Inside the house, I sat on the couch for the longest time. Maybe Bishop was right. Maybe I didn’t know Lawton at all. Or maybe I did, and I just didn't want to face it.
Either way, I wouldn't figure it out today. I trudged upstairs and got ready for work.