Chapter 14
"Chester!" she yelled. "You son of a bitch!"
Startled, I pulled my head away from Lawton and looked toward the sound of the voice. And there she was, the petite red-head. She stood on the opposite side of Lawton's car, near the passenger's side door.
Her face was flushed, and her hair was wild. She was glaring at Shaggy. "I knew it!" she yelled.
I glanced toward Shaggy. His eyes were huge, and his mouth was half open. He glanced frantically around as if seeking the fastest avenue of escape.
"You bolt now," the redhead warned, "and you're walking home." Her voice rose. "And when you get there, guess what? You're gonna find the locks changed, because I've just about had it with this crap!"
Shaggy offered up a shaky smile. "Heeeey Jen. So what are you doing out here?"
"Me?" she shrieked. "What am I doing out here? You're kidding, right?"
"Yeah. I mean no," he stammered. "I thought you were gonna wait for me."
She glared across the car at him. "You mean in the f*cking restaurant? Where do you think I've been the last hour?"
"An hour?" Shaggy glanced toward the restaurant. "Oh c'mon, it hasn't been that long."
She reached into her big red purse and pulled out a foil-wrapped container. "Still want that romantic dinner?"
Shaggy took a step backward. "No, I'm good, but uh, thanks."
Jen laughed. "Oh, you haven't been good for a long time. And you wanna know why? Because of you and your stupid Web site!"
She dug through the foil container. "You know how many times you've left me sitting alone while you chased some stupid story?" Her hand emerged from the container with – was that a shrimp?
Shaggy took another step backward.
"And you know how many places?" She raised her arm. A jumbo shrimp went flying toward Shaggy's head.
He ducked to the side. "Aw c'mon Jen! Not again!"
She reached into the container again. "At my sister's wedding!" She hurled another shrimp. This one hit Shaggy's chest and bounced onto the pavement.
From about a car-length away, something flashed. A camera? Shaggy's head whipped toward the flash. "Hey!" he yelled. "No pictures! C'mon, dude!"
"At my class reunion!" Jen yelled. "At my uncle's funeral!" She reached into the shrimp container and pulled out a whole fistful. She flung the whole mess in Shaggy's direction. It scattered across the pavement near his feet.
She stalked around Lawton's car. Her fists were clenched as she headed straight for Shaggy. He looked wildly around, like escape still might be possible. But in the end, whether frozen by terror or her threat of changing the locks, he held his ground.
Before I could blink, she was on him. She ripped the phone from his hand and hurled it to the pavement. It crashed down, shattering into broken bits.
Shaggy looked down, his eyes half-crazed. "My phone!"
Jen gave a bark of laughter. "Your phone? Your phone?"
"Hey, you gave it to me," he said.
"No. I let you use it," she said, "It's my phone! And what did you promise?"
"Uh—"
"You promised to leave it home tonight. But did you?" She turned toward the crowd. "Did he?"
Around us, gawkers nervously shook their heads. Someone near the back was still taking pictures, illuminating the area with random flashes that made the whole sordid scene that much more unsettling.
Shaggy turned toward the source of the flashing. "Dude, c'mon!" he yelled. "Cut that out! Give us some privacy, will ya?"
Suddenly, I heard a burst of laughter. It sounded half-crazed.
Oh my God. It was coming from me. Through this entire spectacle, I'd been too transfixed to move. But now, I couldn't help it. I pushed away from Lawton and stumbled toward the shattered phone. I looked down.
"It doesn't look okay anymore," I said, with another snort of laughter.
"What's so damn funny?" Shaggy said.
"Do you really have to ask?" I turned to the redhead. "Sorry, I know it's not funny. I just –" I looked to the phone. "Oh my God. I so wanted to do that."
Her eyebrows furrowed. "Weren't you our waitress?"
"She's not gonna be anyone's waitress," said a male voice somewhere behind me, "if she doesn't get her butt back to work pronto."