Reason 11: You are perceptive
One day. One damn day since I talked with Hayles. I’ve never been more happy for a Monday.
Funny thing, it’s not ‘cause of Quynn that I’m anxious to get to the ASL room. I have the palm sweats and the gut knots and all that other stuff that tells me I’m in way over my head. That’s normal for the ASL room, but it’s for a different girl this time.
And it’s about a hundred times worse.
I kind of wonder if it’s ‘cause I couldn’t text Hayles at all after I dropped her off. I really regret not askin’ her more about her ‘waterlogged’ phone. I’m askin’ today ‘cause this shit sucks. It’s like I need to talk to her. All. The. Time.
Damn it.
I am in way over my head.
And it’s only lunch time. Just one. More. Hour.
I jam my earphones in and crank up the music. I’m not in the mood to people watch today. Gotta calm my nerves.
I’m going to do it today. I’m going to ask her out, and she’s going to say yes and believe me. Even if I have to freakin’ shake her until she gets it.
Drummin’ my fingers on my knees, I close my eyes and try to erase everythin’ twisting in my stomach. It’s just a girl. Just a girl. Done this before. What’s the worst that can happen?
She’ll say no.
Then convince her to say yes.
Good luck with that, Brody. She’s pretty firm on her self-image.
Well, she’s wrong.
One of my earphones gets pulled out and my eyes snap open.
“What are you listening to, homie?”
Can’t help feelin’ like I may hurl all over her as she sits down—right next to me again—and sticks the headphone in her ear. I go to turn it down, but she stops my hand, keeping hers on mine as she listens.
Can’t. Concentrate.
She’s all warm and soft and crap. I want to grab her into my arms and keep her there forever.
“Mr. Grant, I’ve underestimated you.”
“Huh?” Yeah, I’m going to try to ignore the fact it doesn’t matter what name she calls me, I like it. Point for Hayles about the name thing.
“You have good taste in more than just chips.” She grabs the iPod out of my hand. Her finger flicks through the playlists, and I hear a small, “Ooh!” before the song changes. Then she hums along softly by my face.
Damn beautiful.
“Uh, Hayles?”
“Mmm?” She turns the music down.
Bailing… “I didn’t know you had this lunch.”
“Yup. Right now you’re saving me from the slob fest going on in the cafeteria.” Her eyes toss up to the ceiling before meeting mine. “I hate being witness to PDA.”
I chuckle. “Yeah. I know the feeling.”
“Tanner and Dani?” She smiles and winks.
“Uh huh.” I pause and nod toward a couple of Hipsters goin’ at each other across the hallway. “But they’re not as bad as that I guess.”
Hayles follows my gaze and shivers. “Gag me.”
She goes to turn the music back up, but I stop her. Hell yeah! She lets me keep my hand on hers.
All right, Brody. Just ask her out. Not a big deal.
“Hey, uh… so I was wonderin’—”
Bell rings.
Damn it.
She grins, tossing my earphone in my lap. “Tell me on the way to class.”
Can’t do it. Not on our way to the class we share with Quynn. Not in the middle of a chaotic hallway in this craphole we call high school. I mean, she’s never been asked out before. Well, I assume she’s never been asked. That’s what she said, right?
More pressure to make this good for her. She deserves that.
“Brody?”
“Huh?”
“Are you mad at me or something?”
Guess we’ve been walkin’ to class, and I haven’t said a word. Didn’t even notice.
“No.” I attempt a smirk, but it probably looks real stupid.
Her brow crinkles in that hot way it always does, and she points a finger at me. “Well, something’s bugging you. You’re a lot quieter than normal. I mean you’re usually quiet, but today you seem…”
“In a daze?” My smirk is for real this time.
She smacks her forehead. It’s so cute when she does that. “Gosh dang gorillas, I’m such an idiot.”
My eyebrow pulls upward. What is she on about now? “Because…?”
“Because I know why you’re quiet and I should’ve figured it out by now.”
Huh? Am I that transparent?
“Don’t be nervous about seeing her today. Maybe ask for some help after class. Like, totally botch it with me or something.” She giggles and it takes me a minute to catch up with her.
Right.
Quynn.
Signing.
Pointers.
I don’t want to think about all that crap—the mess I’ve made already with everythin’. And I know Quynn’ll ask why I wasn’t home on Friday when she came over.
Hayles is going to be pissed when she finds out.
Or maybe it’ll be enough to convince her I’d rather be with her than Quynn. May work in my favor.
Maybe I’ll bring it up.
“Hey.” She stops in front of me and grabs my shoulders. I flex underneath her grasp, showin’ off.
Her face goes a little pink, but she keeps her hands on me. “It’s no different than it was before, okay? Don’t be nervous. You’ve got this in the bag.”
I open my mouth to pretty much tell her everythin’, but she stops me.
“And I’ll tell you another secret.” She drops her hands and gives me a faint smile. “She looks at you the same way you look at her. She… she really likes you. She’s just waiting for the right moment.”
I’m as big a douche as my brother, because I don’t care.
I don’t care.
It’s not the right girl. A week ago, maybe, but now? Man, I just want Hayles.
“Hey,” I say as I snatch one of her hands and play with her fingers. That feels good. She’s not pullin’ back either. “I’m not nervous about Quynn. I told you, I’m not really… I’m not sure about her anymore.”
She gives me a ‘whatever’ look and pulls her hand away.
“Knock it off, Brody.”
Quynn’s wearing her same old sweater and jeans, but her hair is down today. I know this means she’s in a good mood, and it pisses me off that I know that.
And it shouldn’t make me want to brush it from her face, but it does. Ugh. Thought I was over this girl.
Hayles waves her hand in front of my face and brings me back into her view.
Whoops, should be payin’ attention. Especially to the girl I actually want.
What are we going to talk about?
She smiles and my stomach twists.
I have a question for you.
It’s going to suck askin’ her like this, but I don’t care. Maybe rejection will be better in sign language.
More questions? I believe you ran out on Saturday.
I smirk. Okay, so you’ve got some for me, then? I’m stallin’—again, but I don’t care. I like our banter. It’s so… easy.
I totally just dug myself in a hole. Now I can’t think of anything to ask you. She laughs under her breath as she swipes her bangs from her face.
You forfeit one of your questions to me, then?
Her nose scrunches as she gives me a look that’s so damn sexy, it’s hard for me not to close the distance between us. Even in front of everyone. In front of Quynn.
Man, I got it bad.
Fine. What’s your question?
I throw a quick glance at Quynn. Her eyes dart from mine and shoot to her signing partner. Her face goes bright red. Was she staring at me? ‘Listenin’ to our conversation?
Damn it. I can’t do this in front of her. She won’t get it. Hayles isn’t like other girls. Hell, she doesn’t even understand why anyone would like her. Why would Quynn?
Chickening out again. And now I got to come up with another question.
What do you want for your birthday?
Hell yeah! I came up with that pretty quick.
She taps her chin with her forefinger and looks up at the ceiling. Even this gets me goin’.
I’m screwed.
Don’t laugh?
I cross my heart and salute. She giggles.
I want a tattoo so bad!
Why the hell would I laugh at that? I smile and remove my leather wristband, showin’ her the tatt I got on my eighteenth birthday.
“Sweet!” she whispers as she grabs my wrist and traces her fingers over the ink. The soft touch sends goose bumps up my arms, and I kind of hope she notices. Maybe she’ll get the hint I’ve fallen for her.
She lets go to sign to me.
What does it mean?
Kind of knew she’d ask me that, but I don’t want to tell her here. Not with Quynn sittin’ two feet away. I wrap the leather back around my wrist.
Later?
She nods.
You figure out a question, yet? Or do I get another one?
Her eyes get wide, and she leans toward me. Yeah, she gets closer every time we talk now. That chocolate smell will be burned into my nostrils. I’m okay with that.
You have more? Gosh, Brody, didn’t realize you wanted to know so much about me.
I want to know everything about her. I don’t even care how cheesy that sounds.
You got your phone yet? I wink, and she shoves my arm.
No. Still getting it fixed.
You going to tell me what happened?
It’s like I asked her to boil puppies or something. Her face gets all twisted for a second, then she wipes it clean with a fake smile.
Nothing. Just got it wet.
She’s lyin’. Or at least not tellin’ the entire truth. Part of me is kind of happy I know this about her already, but the other part is mad she doesn’t feel like she can tell me stuff.
Stupid, I know. It’s just a phone.
You seem pissed today. Her hands sign it real fast, but I catch it. Are you sure you’re okay?
Not pissed. Nervous. Never felt it this bad before. Look at what she’s done to me!
I’m fine, Hayles. I promise.
She cocks her eyebrow and nibbles the inside of her lip, but drops it.
Okay. You going to be busy after school? Her eyes flick to Quynn, who again goes pink and looks at something that became very interesting on the ceiling. Hayles stifles a giggle. Looks like someone wants to talk to you.
Yeah, it does look that way. Probably about Friday, or more about douchebag brother. I don’t really want to deal with that right now.
Hayles. That’s what I want to deal with.
Did you want to hang out again today?
She shakes her head. I was only asking to see if you were going to talk to Quynn after class.
Wasn’t planning on it.
Her face scrunches up. Why not?
‘Cause I want to be with you. Thought maybe we could hit the library again.
You’ll tell me about your tattoo? Her eyes get all excited as she waits for me to answer her.
How can I say no to that?
Yeah.
Sounds good.
Definitely sounds good.
“Brody? Could I talk to you for a minute?”
Quynn’s voice is all shaky, but she looks confident as she perches herself on top of my desk again.
Hayles smirks at me as she swings her heavy bag over her shoulder.
“Hey, wait for me, okay?” I ask.
Her eyebrows shoot upward, and she opens her mouth, lookin’ like she wants to argue, but I give her a look. She shuts it and nods before walking out the door.
Deep breath.
“Sup?”
“Bro,” she says before grinning, “you’ve never said that before. Who’ve you been hanging out with?”
I chuckle, but don’t respond other than that. Kind of want to get this over with. Half ‘cause Hayles is waitin’ for me, and half ‘cause I’m not sure if the stomach twisting is because of Quynn or Hayles, and I don’t want to be more confused than I already am.
“I went to your house on Friday.”
I clear my throat. “Uh, yeah. My mom told me about that.”
She smiles. “Thank you for talking me into it. I can’t remember the last time I was able to enjoy a Friday night.”
Good, she’s not mad. Maybe I was reading too much into that sort-of hug she gave me last week. “No prob.” I twist the strap of my backpack around my wrist and stand. “That all you needed?”
“Oh!” Her face goes red, and she dumps my books off the desk with her hip. “Um, no. I wanted to talk to you about something else too.” She bends to pick up the books, and I’m not as big a douche as I thought ‘cause I help.
“Shoot.” Wish she’d just spit it out. Hayles is waitin’ for me.
Her face gets red again as she hands me my stuff. “Just wanted to know how things are going with your signs. Your mom said you were having trouble.”
I shrug. “Good. Hayley’s helpin’ me out. Think I’ll be okay.”
Half smile. “Oh, well… I thought… if you want…” She pauses for a second, clacking her tongue and lookin’ at the door. “I don’t mind going over signs with you after school. That is, if you don’t feel weird about that.”
Damn it. Opportunity I’ve been waitin’ for, and now I don’t want it.
“Uh, thanks. But I’ll keep tryin’ with Hayley for a bit.”
“Okay. Just let me know if you ever need my help.”
“Yup.” Gotta get outta here. Starting to get awkward. I walk toward the door, but her voice stops me again.
“Hey, Bro?”
“Yeah?”
She takes a deep breath and twirls her hair in her hand. Damn it, she’s got somethin’ on her mind. I’m tryin’ not to care, but it’s hard.
“Somethin’ wrong?”
Half smile—again. “Well, I have plans to stop by and see your mom on Friday again. I was kind of hoping I’d see you too for a bit. Like before, you know?”
Friday. Hayles’ birthday. If I ever get the guts to ask her out, and she says yes, I won’t be home. At least, not long enough to hang out with Quynn like we used to. There goes my freakin’ luck, choosin’ between two amazing girls.
The choice is easy though. Surprisingly easy.
“Maybe. I may have plans though.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah.”
I should say it. I should say it right now. I’m goin’ to take Hayles out. But I don’t. I can’t find the words. I don’t want to find the words. Not sure if Quynn would understand. Hayles isn’t… it’s just different.
“Okay, then. I guess I’ll see you next class.” She’s sad, and I hate it. But I can’t do anythin’ about it. Not without screwin’ things up.
“Later.” I smile, tryin’ to seem like this isn’t the most awkward conversation I’ve had in my life.