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electric blue
THE CITY SAT IN THE BOWL OF THE ANDES, climbing up the foothills to the lavender peaks beyond. Cochabamba was sunny and bustling, infused with a rainbow of flowers and the smell of smog.
This city was her home for six years, and Wara Cadogan loved it.
Back in downtown Cochabamba a week after the trip to the mountains, Wara entered Café Amara wearing a green hippy dress over jeans and beat-up leather sandals. The air was infused with coffee and cinnamon and vanilla icing and Noah was already up front, tuning his honey-colored Taylor guitar. Every Friday he and a group of friends did live music at the downtown coffee shop his church owned. Noah threw Wara a wave and she plopped down into a chair, ready to drink lots of coffee and rest after long day at the AIDS center with Nazaret and her mom, Noly.
A swish of fabric drew her attention to the tiny Quechua lady at her side, holding a tray of empanadas. Wara’s mouth started to water at the sight of browned pastries, perfectly crimped edges embracing a center of melted cheese.
“Doña Filomena, you know I can’t resist empanadas,” she told the older lady in Quechua. “Thank you. How are you doing these days?” Doña Filomena had a bent back and wrinkled skin that crinkled like parchment, especially around the eyes. Wara had never seen her without two thin gray braids twisted into a bun at the back of her head, and Filomena always wore a thick navy blue cardigan over her lacy white blouse. She was always thrilled to talk with a foreigner in her native Quechua.
“Just fine, I’m doing fine.” Filomena patted Wara on the shoulder, grasped her forearm delicately, and then patted again in the traditional Quechua greeting. “I tell you, the Lord is healing me of my arthritis. I just pray, I’m always praying, and I know that the Lord is helping me feel better every day.”
O-kay. Wonderful.
Wara fought not to arch an eyebrow. The lady’s faith was…nice. But she knew about the gigantic megachurch Doña Filomena was a part of, and all the speaking in tongues and mad tambourine playing that went on in that place honestly freaked Wara out.
But who was she to judge, right?
“I’m glad you’re feeling better. And thanks for the empanada.” The older lady nodded with smiling, crinkly eyes and headed back towards the kitchen. Just as Tiago pushed his way through the café door, sending little chimes dinging.
Tiago was a guy of maybe nineteen with a boyish smile and black baggy jeans with chains. He was skinny as a rail and Wara wondered when the kid ever ate. The reason she knew Tiago was because he was usually found smoking with a boyfriend outside the door of the neighboring coffee shop, Café Paris, known for catering to homosexuals.
He grinned at her when he saw her, showing off the metal stud in his tongue. Another guy Wara had never seen before was trailing Tiago into Café Amara, and the two of them stopped in front of Wara’s table.
“Hey, there,” Tiago drew out the greeting with a sly smile. Noah meandered over to say hi to the guys too, still carrying his Taylor guitar. “This is my new friend Rudolf, from Germany,” Tiago grinned. “He’s over here studying Spanish, and I told him you guys were nice. How’s it going Noah?” Tiago shook Noah’s hand and Wara took in the new guy. Rudolf had a very clean-shaven German jaw and wore a preppy gray sweater and dark jeans. He also shook Noah and Wara’s hands with a grin, going on about what a great city Cochabamba was.
“And one of the coolest coffee shops here is where you’re standing right now, my friend,” Tiago jumped in. “This girl right here, Wara? She is always making me up free food from the kitchen. Nachos, little pizzas…her quesadillas rock.” He punched Wara in the shoulder, then turned his attention to Noah.
“So, we’re hanging out next door, but we thought we’d come over and see if you wanted to have a drink with us. You’re not singing til later, right?”
Noah blinked. “Uh, sure. We could have a drink. It’s only 9 now, right?”
Alarm bells were going on in Wara’s heard. Noah’s eyes were friendly and clueless, and he probably wouldn’t be able to tell if someone was flirting with him to save his life.
“I’ll come with you,” she offered, trying not to grit her teeth.
“Sure, Wara, that’d be great.” Noah smiled at her so warmly her knees actually went weak. But then she caught herself and angrily kicked herself into reality.
Noah thought she was a nice girl, just another missionary with a pure heart for serving the Lord.
What if he ever found out?
She could never be with someone like him.
“Yeah, I’ll definitely come with you guys,” she repeated morosely as she followed them out the door. “I could use a good drink.”
For a moment the relative silence of the darkened street shocked Wara as the door to Café Amara thudded closed behind them. She crossed the pavement with the guys, towards the blue-toned beehive that was Café Paris next door. Just inside the door, the throbbing techno music reverberated inside her chest and the dim lighting confused her. Noah leaned back and spoke into her ear. “We’ll just stay a little while, be friendly, go back. Thanks for coming. I was feeling a little awkward.”
“No problem,” Wara hissed back, rolling her eyes.
Some of the guys scooted over to make room for them on the electric blue barstools, and Wara noticed that Rudolf somehow switched seats with another guy next to him, ending up next to Noah.
Oh great.
Wara had never actually been inside this café before, and she took in the antique plaster ceiling with low-hanging bulbs covered in blue glass squares, sending an eerie, ghostly light around the long room. The bar, sporting neon signs for mostly European beers, was by far the busiest area of the café.
“Oh,” she twisted around, realizing that the bartender was asking her what she wanted, “I want a Taquiña.” She plopped down on the empty barstool next to Noah, who turned away from Rudolf as he heard her order for Bolivian beer.
“I didn’t know you drank.”
“Hardly ever do,” Wara answered coolly, flushing as she heard the solid clink of her glass mug of Taquiña hit the bar. She knew this was going to be a bad idea, just knew it. But she hadn’t had a beer in five years, and if there ever was a time for it, it might be now. “Are you gonna have anything?”
“I’ll get it,” Rudolf jumped in, offering to pay for Noah’s drink. “You like Taquiña?” Wara hoped her grimace was discreet, and she tried to hide it by downing a good half of her beer, quickly followed by the other half.
Noah, Rudolf, and the other guys were talking away, covering everything from Rudolf’s Spanish studies here in Cochabamba to what kind of music Noah liked.
I have got to get Noah out of here, Wara thought as she ordered a Cuba Libre. Just got to watch for my chance…
She already felt the effects of the alcohol as the rum with Coke went down, but all in all, she felt pretty good. If Noah wasn’t in danger of being picked up, this would actually be kind of fun. Another fifteen minutes went by, which Wara filled with another Cuba Libre and a whole lot of moody thoughts. And then she heard Noah’s voice.
“Hey, no. I’m not…I just came here to hang out.” Wara realized Noah was stammering. She whirled around to see Rudolf leaning way, way too close. Noah’s neck had turned absolutely crimson, and his fingers twitched on the edge of the bar stool.
All right, that’s it! That’s my friend there!
She shot up from her seat and slid onto Noah’s lap, wrapping her fingers around the back of his neck. Wara to the rescue!
“That’s right,” she snapped, facing the other guys and then meeting Noah’s eyes. “I think you’re a little confused about my Noah here.” She pulled him closer, feeling the hot flush of her friend’s face. “He’s with me.”
Noah’s face was just inches from hers. She kissed him, and maybe it was the shock, but Noah didn’t pull away. Then she broke away and looked Rudolph right in the eye. “No boyfriend-stealing tonight. Ok?”
Silence dropped around the bar like chloroform, and then Tiago cleared his throat, cheeks splotched maroon. “Oh, man. This is really awkward. We’re, uh, really sorry. Didn’t know you, uh…were with her.” Tiago let his eyes shoot to Wara, who slid away from Noah’s body onto one of his knees and was eyeing the guys with one eyebrow raised.
“Yeah.” Rudolf had stood and was apologizing. “I just thought, I mean, you knew we were gay and you were so nice to us and no one ever is so…”
“Yeah, man,” Tiago rushed on. “I didn’t know why you were always talking to us and stuff. Everyone else that isn’t...you know…always treats us like trash.” Tiago swore and took a deep breath, smiling nervously. “Anyway, I’m sure you won’t want to hang out with us anymore.”
Noah unexpectedly burst into laugher and ran his fingers through his hair. “You know what guys?” he said. “It can happen to anyone. We all make…assumptions sometimes. And I’ll see you around. Just so you know not to try to, you know, hook me up. Someday, if it’s all over…” Noah jerked his chin over Wara’s way, “I’ll let you know so you can introduce me to any eligible sisters you may have. C’mon, I think it’s time for us to be going for today,” Noah announced to Wara, a little too loudly. He threw Tiago and company one last red-faced smile and headed for the door.
Noah remembered to hold the door open for her, and then they began a brisk walk towards the closest major street. It was obvious that neither of them felt like going back into Café Amara. The cool night air hit Wara full in the face and the fire rose from her belly to scald her cheeks as she realized what she had done.
Did I actually just kiss Noah?
She had, and in front of witnesses.
Oh God, I can’t believe this!
Noah was quiet for nearly a block, and Wara nearly suffocated with shame.
I am the worst missionary in the world!
What if the mission heard about this? Just one more thing to add to her list of awful indiscretions.
Then she heard a soft chuckle. She jerked her head around to look at him, still not quite meeting his eye. The cobblestones shimmered a little in front of her, and Wara was starting to feel a little queasy.
“Well, Wara, that was a little unconventional,” Noah nodded, “but you really saved me there. I don’t know what else to say, so I’ll just say, ‘Thank you.’”
“That was really dumb,” Wara mumbled. “I should never drink. I never learn.”
Noah was silent a minute more, and then he put a hand on Wara’s shoulder. “Can we sit down here for a sec?” he asked evenly.
“Sure, fine,” she answered too hurriedly. She plopped down on a bench in the plaza they had been passing through, in the shadow of a darkened colonial cathedral that was hidden away in the heart of downtown. She crossed her arms tightly across her chest and waited to hear whatever Noah had to say.
This wasn’t going to be pretty.
The quiet continued as Noah sat down a comfortable distance away on the bench, and stared off towards the stone pillars at the plaza’s center. Finally he spoke.
“So, that was my first kiss.”
Wara jolted. She couldn’t help glancing over at him to see if he was serious. The way his lashes were lowered, that twist of his lips…Wara suddenly realized she knew Noah too well. He was serious.
Memories flooded her heart, unwelcome, and she swatted them away in anger. It wasn’t fair! Ok, yes it was. It was no one’s fault but her own. But sitting here watching Noah, she could tell that he still cared for her as a friend, even though she’d totally humiliated herself.
And she felt just destroyed. Even if she really loved him, Noah would never, ever, be able to be with someone like her, not with her past and his…his first kiss?
“Look, this was a huge mistake,” Wara groaned out loud. “I just felt bad and wanted to help you…and I didn’t think.”
Oh yeah, and I’m drunk, she thought angrily.
“I think I should go home and you should go…back to the coffee shop. And just please, don’t tell anybody.”
As if he would. Wara felt the slow burn spread across the bridge of her nose. What a disaster!
“I won’t tell anyone,” Noah promised her. “And really, while tonight has been a little…weird, I think it worked really well to save me from Rudolf. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”
Wara sighed and blew her bangs out of her eye as she stood up, tottering unsteadily.
“Hey, wait a sec.” Noah frowned at her. “I’m not letting you go home by yourself! You, my dear, are totally wasted.” He stood up and held out his arms to steady her, just as nausea surged and the night began to spin around in circles.
“I’ll take you home, send the guys a text that they can sing without me. And don’t worry,” he said seriously, kindly. “I won’t tell anyone.