CHAPTER Twenty-Eight
Dean approached the door to the bungalow style home and hesitated before he knocked.
He rapped three times and stood back. Maggie’s car was in the drive but the house was quiet. He hoped she was home. He didn’t want to have to come back later.
He knocked again and heard footsteps.
Maggie opened the door with a rush, the smile on her face quickly faded when she recognized him. Her hair was swept up into a ponytail, her face free of any makeup. She looked younger than he remembered. He’d forgotten that she was six years younger than him. Just out of college when they’d met.
“Hi, Maggie,” he said. Trying his level best to keep his voice even.
“Dean.”
She looked beyond him, searching for Savannah maybe…or Katie?
“I’m here alone,” he told her. “Savannah’s with a sitter.”
Her attention shot to his and her shoulders sagged. Without words, she opened the door farther, walked into the house, away from him.
He followed her inside and closed the door behind him. His heart beat so rapidly he found himself breathing hard.
She stood with her back to him, her hands poised on the edge of the kitchen sink while she looked out a window.
Dean waited for her to say something. He didn’t trust himself and had learned long ago that silence often worked better than words when trying to get someone to open up.
“So…you and Katelyn are back together.” Was that hurt in her voice?
Instead of answering her question, he asked his own. “Why, Maggie?”
She took a deep breath and still had yet to turn around. “Do you know how much you talked about her when you were with me?” she asked.
Dean flinched.
“You tried to hide your feelings for her. I convinced myself that it was natural for you to slip once in a while and call me her name.”
“Twice. That happened twice.” And they’d only been dating a few weeks when he slipped. Maggie had laughed it off and told him it wasn’t a big deal.
She twisted around, met his eyes. “You talk in your sleep, Dean. I told myself that you weren’t responsible for your dreams. Reminded myself that it was me wearing your ring. But it wasn’t me you loved. It was her.”
Dean’s teeth clenched together. He couldn’t deny his feelings and didn’t see a need to shelter Maggie from the truth now.
“I cared about you.”
“But you loved her.”
“You had my baby.”
She blinked a few times.
“I would have stuck by you,” he said softly. He wasn’t raised to walk away from his responsibilities.
“And I would have hated you for it. Having a child isn’t a reason to get married.”
“I’d already asked you to marry me.” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair.
“To what end, Dean? You may have been ready to get married, but you weren’t ready to be a father.”
“The hell I wasn’t!” he yelled.
“Not a single father. Do you remember the night you told me about Katie’s miscarriage?”
He’d been drinking. Trying to move on with his life. He thought if he’d told someone about Katie he could do that. Since he was engaged to Maggie, he felt it was right to let her know about his past.
“You were heartbroken. I told myself it was because of the baby, but it wasn’t. It was because Katie walked out of your life. You told me then that a child isn’t as important as being with the right woman.” Maggie crossed her arms over her chest. “I lied to myself for months about us. The wedding was coming up fast. I couldn’t do it.”
He remembered the empty feeling when she’d returned his ring. His ego was so friggin’ bruised he couldn’t see straight. A bigger part of him was relieved.
“When did you find out about the pregnancy?” he asked.
“A few weeks before we broke up.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want your pity. I wanted your love but you couldn’t give that to me.”
“So you dumped our daughter.”
“I did not dump Savannah. I placed her in the care of someone who wanted her more than I did. This may come as a shock to you, Dean, but I didn’t want kids. Not yet anyway.”
Dean thought of Katie, of the ongoing drama with her mother. Not everyone was cut out to be a mother. How fair was it that Katie wanted kids and couldn’t have them and Maggie didn’t want them and could.
“You never told me that.”
“It wasn’t until I was pregnant that I realized I wasn’t ready. You never attempted to contact me after we broke off the engagement…didn’t try and get me back. I knew why. I wanted to hate you. I couldn’t.” There were tears in Maggie’s eyes. “So instead of terminating my pregnancy I decided to have Savannah and give her to the one person that would love her unconditionally and without regret.”
“You didn’t even know Katie.”
Maggie smirked. “She’s rich, beautiful, stubborn, and in love with you. I watched hours of that stupid reality show she was on when she was a teenager. Do you know how often she talked about you on that show?”
He shook his head. He hadn’t thought of that show in years.
“Even then she adored you. I kept up with her brother Jack’s story, knew he was getting married in Texas and that you’d both be there. I had my doctor induce my labor so I could get Savannah to Texas before you both left.
“Leaving Savannah was one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life. I thought it would be easy.”
Dean’s heart squeezed in his chest. This was where Maggie was going to ask for her back. He thought of Katie, her angelic smile when she watched Savannah laugh.
“Katie’s a perfect mother,” he told her.
“I’m not going to ask for her back. Leaving her was hard, but I know I did the right thing. She’ll be raised in a loving home with two parents. If I’d kept her I would have hated sharing her. I didn’t want to share her daddy either.” Maggie’s sadness was palpable. Dean cursed himself for her grief.
“So that’s it? You walk way and never look back?”
“Now that I know the two of you are together I can go on with my life.”
His brow pitched together. “You went through a lot of trouble keeping your identity hidden. Are you saying you would have told me eventually? That you did all of this so Katie and I would get back together?”
“I loved you, Dean. Once I realized it wasn’t your fault that you didn’t love me I knew I could at least give Savannah a chance at a good life. Savannah can only be icing on the happiness cake, not the glue that holds it together. You and I weren’t that cake.”
Here he thought Maggie was the most selfish woman in the world for leaving their daughter. “I wanted to love you,” he whispered.
She brushed away her tears and forced a smile to her lips. Maggie pushed away from the counter and walked over to him. She lifted up on her tiptoes and placed a soft kiss to his cheek. “Good-bye, Dean. Take care of your girls.”
Katie dropped her bags in the doorway and rushed into the living room where she heard Mrs. Hoyt and Savannah.
“Oh, look, Mommy’s home,” Mrs. Hoyt said when Katie hurried in the room.
“Where’s my little girl?”
Savannah smiled and Katie pushed away all the crazy emotions she had harbored over the past several days. “Did you miss me?” Katie kissed her tiny nose and held her tight.
“She’s such a good baby. There was a little extra fussing. I think she missed you.”
“Lord knows I missed her. Is Dean home?”
“He left early. Said he’d be back this afternoon.”
Katie caught up on Savannah’s day. She put aside her own unpacking until nap time. No reason to spend those precious moments doing chores. She loved her baby girl. She loved her baby girl’s daddy.
By three in the afternoon Savannah couldn’t hold her eyes open any longer.
Katie had called and left a message on Dean’s cell phone letting him know she was home. When he didn’t call her back, she decided to see if maybe he’d left his phone on his charger in his office. Something she’d brought with her to work a couple of times since they had moved in together per Dean’s request.
There wasn’t a phone at the end of the charger that sat on his desk. She sat in his chair and picked up his landline to call the office.
Jo reported that she hadn’t seen him in the office for a couple of days.
Katie’s skin prickled when Jo told her that he informed her that he didn’t want to be notified unless there was an emergency.
“I thought maybe it had something to do with you,” Jo told her.
“Um, well, I guess maybe…he didn’t come with me to Florida.”
“Well, he’s not here. If you see him, let him know that I’m holding off the hounds, but he might want to make an appearance tomorrow or Friday at the latest.”
“I’ll do that.”
What the hell is going on? Everything sounded normal on the phone.
Right now she had wine chilling in the refrigerator so that at dinner tonight she could tell him about his daddy status.
Katie turned to leave the office and noticed the blinking light on the message player. She hit it twice accidentally and the player started to play old messages before finding the new one.
There was a message from her early in her trip. One from Jo at the office. Must have come through before he asked for phone silence.
A voice she didn’t recognized made her drop back into the chair. I found Maggie’s aunt living in the Valley. Like you said. Looks like Maggie was living with her before she had the baby. I have a new address. Call me.
“He knows.” Katie looked around the room. “He knows.”
The next message that played was a hang up. Then the in-box was empty.
As empty as everything inside of her felt in that moment.
There was no doubt in her mind that Dean was with Maggie right then. Talking to her, confiding in her…the mother of his child.
“Oh, God.”
Katie left the office and walked into the living room. She paced, thinking. Worrying.
They’d been engaged. What if he wanted to make that work now that he knew the truth? Did he know that Katie had kept the information from him…was he upset with her for not telling him?
Minutes ticked slowly past and turned into an hour. She tried his cell phone again but didn’t leave a message.
Savannah woke early from her nap and fussed more than normal. Or maybe Katie’s stress didn’t tolerate it. What could she do if Dean wanted Savannah? That one part of the entire equation that neither of them had considered was: What if a daddy showed up? There was no showing up necessary. Savannah already lived with her father.
Katie was the expendable link.
Several hours ticked by, each one more painful than the last. Could she force herself to walk away if Dean asked her to? Everything had been going well…moving in the right direction.
Why this? Why now?
The sound of the garage door reached her and her palms started to itch.
Dean walked through the garage door, dropped his keys on the counter, and entered his house in a daze.
He wanted a quiet moment. One without his mind running, reaching for impossible solutions. As soon as he revealed to Katelyn who Savannah’s mother was…or more importantly, who the daddy was, things could change.
Dean moved into the den, poured that stiff drink, and collected his thoughts. Today should have been a homecoming. He hadn’t seen Katie in three days…three nights. He missed her.
“I tried calling you.” Katie’s wavering voice brought his thoughts into focus.
He swiveled and saw her standing in the doorway, holding Savannah.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been—” He lowered his gaze, sipped his drink.
“With Maggie,” Katie uttered.
His gaze collided with hers. “How did you know?”
“There was a message on your machine.”
He’d forgotten about Nathan’s phone call. Dean poured more whiskey down his throat and tried to burn the image of Maggie from his mind. “Maggie is…Savannah’s mother.”
Katie winced, as if the words hurt. “I know,” she whispered.
“What?”
“And you’re her father.” It was Katie looking away now.
Dean gripped his glass. “You knew? How long did you know?”
She moved into the room, placed Savannah in her swing, and buckled her in. “I spoke to Patrick right before I left for Florida…wait, that’s not entirely true. A couple days before.”
Guilt started a quick fuse to anger. “You knew?”
Katie tuned on the swing and gave it a gentle push. “He found video images of Maggie in the hotel…that night. I guessed about who the daddy was.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I would have.”
“When?” he raised his voice, darted a look at Savannah, and lowered it again. “How long would you have kept this from me, Katelyn?”
“I thought about it when I was in Florida. Wanted to say something to you then…but I couldn’t do it on the phone. I couldn’t stand the thought of you going to her when I wasn’t here. But you did anyway. I’ve been here all day thinking you’re with her. The mother of your child.” She ran a hand through her hair. “Where do I fit into that?”
“Dammit, Katie.”
“Dammit, what? Savannah is your daughter. I’m a substitute for the real mother.”
“You’re not a substitute.”
“I am. Now that you know Savannah belongs to you more than she can ever belong to me, what do I have? You’ve been with Maggie, were ready to marry her. You have a child with her. I can’t compete with that.”
He’d never seen Katie so vulnerable and scared. As torn as he was about Maggie’s decision to keep Savannah from him…for leaving his child on Katie’s doorstep, he wasn’t at all torn with who he wanted to live his life with. Dean set his glass down, crossed the room, and tried to put his arms around her.
She shrugged away with tears in her eyes.
He cringed with her rejection.
Katie wrapped her arms around her own waist. “I won’t stand in the way. I love you both too much to break up your family.”
All he could think of when driving home was how he and Katie could work this out together. They would decide together if Savannah would ever know who her real mother was.
“Look at me, Katie. You’re my family,” he said. Dean moved in front of her a second time, didn’t let her shrug away again as he pulled her into his arms. “You’re Savannah’s mother.”
“You spent all day with Savannah’s mother. You didn’t take your calls from me.” Katie tugged back.
Dean kept her close and stared into her eyes. “I spent the day getting answers. Maggie had my child and didn’t tell me. I had to find out what she was thinking. After I left, I drove around trying to figure out how to tell you about this whole mess. I don’t have any romantic attachment to Maggie. Something she knew long before she had Savannah.”
Katie’s struggles to get out of his embrace froze. “You didn’t love her?”
“No, Katie. It’s impossible for me to love two women at the same time. Maggie knew I was in love with someone else.”
Katie blinked through her tears. “Me?”
“Of course you,” he said with a half smile. “She saw through me. When she found out she was pregnant she decided to give you Savannah because she didn’t think I was ready to be a dad…and she knew you wanted to be a mom.”
“How could she know that, Dean?” Katie trembled but he refused to let her go.
“Somewhere in the rulebook of guy I forgot the rule on talking about my ex. I talked a lot about you…a lot. Something in those conversations…or what I said in passing, made her realize how much I still loved you. Maggie believed that we’d find each other eventually, make amends.”
“What if we’d never figured it out? What if I’d taken Savannah and left the country?”
Dean ran his hands up and down Katie’s arms. “Maggie would have told me…eventually.”
She’d stopped shaking and the tears were fading. Dean followed Katie down to the couch.
“Does…does she want Savannah back?” Pain laced Katie’s question.
Dean kissed her forehead. “No. She’s not ready to be a mom. I’m not sure I like her explanation for leaving Savannah, but it is what it is.”
Katie stared at Savannah. “There are plenty of people who can have kids and not be a parent.”
Both of them watched Savannah in her swing, lost in their thoughts.
Katie squeezed his arm. “I’m sorry, Dean. I should have told you about Savannah the minute I found out. My own selfish insecurities stopped me.”
He hushed her. Katie didn’t own the title of insecure. “You’re not the only one feeling guilty. I took Savannah to my doctor and had a paternity test.”
“You did? When?”
“The day after you left. I kept thinking about the letter left with Savannah and the conversations I’d had with Maggie. I couldn’t believe she’d have my child and not tell me. But then there’s that little bundle.” He nodded to his little girl, smiled. “She has the Prescott nose.” He saw it now as sure as the one on his face. “I knew it was possible Savannah was mine.”
“She does have your nose. Your appetite, too.”
“I didn’t want to tell you over the phone either,” he said.
Katie offered a coy smile.
Dean placed his palm on the side of her cheek. “I wouldn’t have gone back to Maggie. Yeah, I was raised to take responsibility for what’s mine, for what I created. But I wouldn’t leave you for her. It’s you I love, Katie. Not her. It’s you I want to be the mother of my children…Savannah and any others we may choose to have. You are my family and I’m not giving you up ever again. Either of you.”
He kissed her then, sealing his words, and doing everything he could to burn his conviction into her brain.
From the baby swing, a clapping sound shortened their kiss. Savannah sat with a smile on her face as she clapped her hands together.
Katie’s laugh warmed the part of him that had been chilled all day. “Looks like Savannah approves.”
He kissed her forehead and hugged her close. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, Dean.” They settled into the couch and watched Savannah watching them. “This means we’re getting married…right?”
Dean found her question funny and started to snicker.
She pushed away and offered a playful frown.
His laughter reduced to giggles. “I wanted to have a ring before I dropped to my knee.”
“A ring?”
“Yeah, shiny thing I put on your finger before I ask. A ring.”
She frowned and leaned back into his arms.
“You know,” she said a moment later, “you don’t have to have a ring to ask.”
“We already have a child before the wedding. I don’t want to mess up all those traditions.” He’d search out the perfect ring first thing in the morning. He’d already had one in mind before she left for Florida.
She huffed out a breath. “But you are going to ask…”
Oh, boy, he could see they weren’t going to get far. “The question isn’t if I’ll ask, it’s if I can get to it faster than your father and my best friend show up at the door with a shotgun. That’s the question.”
Now it was her turn to giggle. She kicked her legs under her bum and wrapped her arms around his waist.
“What…that’s it? No more drilling?”
“Nope.”
“Why not?” It wasn’t like her to give up so easily.
“I told my dad and brother they had to wait two days before they came to meet Savannah.”
Dean tipped his head back and laughed. When Katie joined him, the weight of the days and weeks faded.