Lost

Saturday, March 9 – 3:00 PM





Owen


My phone rings again, and a student at a nearby table glares at me. I answer it this time and race out into the lobby.

“Hello?”

“Hi Owen...”

Maria’s voice is warm and soft, and somehow nothing else matters when I hear her say my name. It doesn’t matter that I can’t afford food or that my parents don’t care about me anymore—she does, and she’s all I need.

“What’s up?” I ask. My stomach growls so loudly that I worry, for a moment, that she’ll hear it over the phone.

“Um... not much. I was just calling to see if you’d like to stop by tonight,” she tells me, her voice tight and nervous. “Maybe we can watch a movie?”

My phone buzzes against my ear and I nearly drop it on the floor. It’s just Tina sending me a text message, but I’ve never gotten used to my ear buzzing like that.

“Owen? Are you there?”

“Oh, sorry!” I apologize. “Sure, I’d love to. Just let me finish up my homework first, okay?”

“Alright. Just call me when you’re heading over.”

“Will do,” I answer happily. Just talking to her puts a smile on my face.

“Bye,” she says quietly, and I imagine her blushing as she hangs up the phone. I don’t deserve a girl as wonderful as she is.

My phone buzzes again, and I hurriedly check Tina’s messages before she starts threatening me again.

“Come to Collegetown Pizza. We need to talk.”

“Right now, Owen. I mean it.”

Tina’s such a tiny thing, but she’s so forceful that I don’t dare say no. Instead, I pack my bags and hurry to the south bridge leading out from campus. If Tina says to meet with her, I’m damned well going to meet with her.

The smell of melted cheese and tomato sauce drives me nuts as I walk into the pizzeria, and I desperately wish I could get a slice. Tina is already here and for once in her life, she isn’t wearing pink. Instead, she’s wearing a thin black jacket, gray tights, and ridiculously oversized fur-trimmed boots.

Sometimes I just don’t know about her. Between her usual pink wardrobe and now these boots, I can’t tell if she’s unintentionally dressing to a stereotype or doing it as some kind of statement. I’ve met some really ditzy students, but she definitely isn’t one of them. I don’t know if she’s a genius like Maria who, according to my fellow teaching assistant Liz, still hasn’t missed a question yet this year, but she’s sharp enough that I don’t dare assume the obvious.

She waves me over to her table, and I eye her cautiously as I sit down across from her. I’m nervous about meeting with her. The last time she contacted me out of the blue like this, I ended up wearing a suit to a casual-attire swing dance.

“Hey, how are you?” I ask, staring at the tantalizing slice of pepperoni pizza on her plate. God, I’m so hungry.

“Not bad,” she answers through a mouthful of cheesy goodness. “Yourself?”

“Um... good enough.”

“You wanna grab anything first?” she asks, and I shake my head.

“No thanks. Not hungry.”

I’m lying, of course. I’d kill a hobo for a slice of pizza right now. I’m starving, have been since yesterday, and probably will be for another week unless I can steal some leftovers from Craig.

“Suit yourself,” she says with a shrug. She torments me with one last bite of her slice, and the cheese stretches beautifully and makes my stomach growl.

“So anyway, what did you want?” I ask, trying to get her to hurry up. I like talking to her, but not in a pizza place while I’m starving.

“Well, it’s like this... um...”

Tina fumbles for words, and I take a deep breath and prepare myself. She’s never at a loss for things to say, so she must have really uncomfortable plans for me.

“You know... f*ck it, I’ll just tell you,” she tells me, giving up on being nice to me. “You and Maria are getting really close to each other now, and I’m worried that you’re moving too quickly with her. I want to make sure you’re not going to hurt her.”

“There’s nothing I want to do less than hurt her, Tina!” I answer, hurt by her distrust.

“I don’t mean intentionally,” she fires back, raising an eyebrow at me. “If I thought you were a jerk, Craig and I would never have set you two up in the first place. You could be the nicest guy on earth and still accidentally hurt her.”

I stare at her silently and can’t think of a damned thing to say in response.

“Look, I have a reputation for saying inappropriate things,” she continues, “but I’m dead serious here: if you hurt Maria, I will kill you. I care about her like she’s my own sister.”

“Tina, what happened to her? I know something did,” I ask quietly. I’ve known ever since I first saw Samantha’s fear in her eyes.

Tina shakes her head.

‘Come on, Tina. How am I supposed to not hurt her if I don’t know what’s wrong?”

“No way!” she fires back. “How would you like it if Craig told everyone about your secrets?”

I’m taken aback by her reply. Did Maria tell her about my father? She wouldn’t do that. No, there’s no way she did that.

“Who says I even have a secret?” I challenge her, trying my best to keep a straight, calm face. She bursts out laughing, and all I can do is stare at her in hurt confusion.

“I know you have one because if you didn’t, Maria would never have given you a chance,” she finally answers. “You know how nervous and vulnerable she feels around strangers. Do you think she’d have stuck by you after what happened at the ski slope if she didn’t feel like she was on equal footing?”

I open my mouth to protest but she cuts me off before I get a word out.

“Also,” she continues, “Maria and I became friends back during freshman year because we felt safe around each other. She feels safe with you now, too.”

“I promise I’m not going to hurt her.”

“Why should I believe you?” she suddenly fires back angrily, as if she’s interrogating a prisoner instead of a friend. “Answer me!”

“Because I love her, you idiot!” I shout at her, and everyone in the restaurant turns and stares at me.

I cover my mouth in embarrassment, but it’s too late. The words have escaped, and there’s no bringing them back. I blurted out the first thing that popped into my head, and I don’t know what scares me more: that I called Tina an idiot, or that I said I love Maria.

Her beautiful smile and shining green eyes burst to life inside my imagination, and I remember how I felt while we danced together. I’d never felt so happy before in my life. There was something special there, a strange, magical connection with her that I’d never felt before. I feel like something changed inside me that night, as if I took a big step forward and can never go back again.

Maybe I do love her.

Tina’s face lights up at my words. She either didn’t catch my insult or didn’t care.

“Good!” she squeals excitedly. “Not the words I expected, but it’s the right sentiment.”

She gets up and quickly dumps the contents of her tray into the garbage can before coming back and babbling happily at me again.

“You’re a good guy, Owen. Go with my blessing,” she tells me, grinning from ear to ear. “My threat still stands, though! Hurt her, and I’ll kill you.”

“Are you really worried that I’m going to hurt her?” I ask, bouncing my knees nervously under the table as she puts on her coat.

“No, not anymore,” she answers, still smiling brightly.

She waves goodbye and heads out into the cold, leaving me behind with an awful lot to think about.

––––––––

It’s still warm outside at eight o’clock when I leave my apartment and start the short walk to Maria’s place. Well... warmer, at least. It’s maybe fifty degrees at best, but it’s a nice change from the sub-zero Ithaca winter. It’ll be spring soon.

A sudden pang of nervousness hits me as I realize Spring Break is only a week away. I’m going to have to fight with my parents about not coming home again. Mom texted me twice today, each time begging me to come home. I didn’t answer either of them. She already knows why I don’t come home.

How could she not know? She was there for most of it, pretending nothing was happening while Dad beat me again and again. She took me to the hospital, lied to my school and did nothing to help me.

I can’t go home. I don’t have a home.

The light is on in Maria’s kitchen, and I push the negative thoughts into the back of my mind as I approach the door. I want tonight to be for her and me, not for my problems back home.

She opens the door before I even knock, and I immediately hear the blaring television and loud talking from inside the apartment.

“We’ve got a problem,” she tells me embarrassedly as she invites me in.

“What’s wrong?”

“Lacey and Dinah invited guys over and took over the living room before I got home from lab,” she explains, pointing into the living room. Her roommates and their boyfriends are all packed together like sardines on the couch, and open beer bottles and bags of popcorn litter the coffee table. They’re watching some crappy reality TV show.

“Can we go to your place instead?” asks Maria, and I shake my head.

“Craig and Tina are camped out in the living room doing their own movie date,” I answer, and she sighs disappointedly.

“Well, how about a rain-check this time? Are you free next weekend?” I ask, trying to salvage the night and not let my disappointment show.

“Actually... what if we just watch a movie upstairs on my laptop?” she offers.

“Works for me!” I tell her excitedly, and she flashes a gorgeous smile and points to the stairs.

I’m nervous about being alone with Maria in her room. Tina’s warning is still fresh on my mind, and my interest in her is piqued already. She’s wearing a tight-fitting blue tee shirt with a happy-looking penguin on the front, and the way the shirt clings to her curves fires up my imagination. The sway of her hips mesmerizes me as she walks up the stairs, and I can’t take my eyes off of her.

Her room is at the far end of the hall on the right. It’s small but sparklingly clean apart from a folded pile of laundry on her desk chair. The first thing my eyes latch onto is the white bra strap poking out of the laundry pile. I wrench my attention away from it and back to her as she sits down on the bed.

She scoots over close to me as I sit down beside her, and my heart skips a beat as our legs touch. Her shoulder brushes against mine, and I take a deep breath and try to calm myself down. Why am I so excited by being here with her? She’s beautiful, yes, but it’s just a movie date!

She pulls up a list of movies on the screen, but every time I try to look at the monitor, my eyes go straight to her instead. They keep latching onto her long black hair and the soft curve of her neck, not to mention all her other curves as well. I can’t keep my eyes off of her.

“What type of movie are you up for?” she asks.

“Um... I don’t know. Do you have any suggestions?”

“Not really. Do you have a favorite?”

She looks up at me, and I get lost in her beautiful green eyes for a long time before finally snapping out of my reverie and answering her.

“Not really... I don’t watch movies very often.”

“Oh come on, help me out here,” she presses, elbowing me and smiling warmly. “I can’t just pick a movie for you.”

“Why not?”

I’m teasing, but she answers me seriously all the same.

“I don’t want to pick the wrong movie,” she tells me, her voice nervous and quiet. “I had such a good time dancing with you, and I wanted tonight to be a fun night for you too.”

“Stupid Dinah, hogging the television,” she mutters as I stare at her in awe. “I even told her I wanted it tonight.”

“Maria, any movie will be fine,” I tell her, slowly putting my arm around her waist. She leans into me, and I sigh happily as I feel the warmth of her body against mine.

“You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?”

“I didn’t come over tonight for the movie,” I tell her, and then I kiss her on the cheek. “I came to be with you.”

Her eyes light up at my words, and I can feel the invisible wall of nervousness between us crumble and collapse.

“Would you rather not watch a movie, then?” she asks quietly. “What if we just make some snacks, grab some drinks, and spend the night talking?”

The mention of food makes my stomach grumble again. I’ve had nothing to eat since my apple this morning.

“I can’t think of anything I’d like better!” I answer gleefully, and matching smiles, we head down to the kitchen.

Maria puts me to work chopping carrots and picking out crackers while she makes cocoa, but then she turns to me with a mischievous grin on her face.

“Don’t say anything,” she whispers, putting a finger to her lips, and she pulls a box of Girl Scout cookies out of the cabinet and dumps half the box onto our plate.

“They’re Lacey’s,” she whispers as I stare at her confusedly, and now I finally get it.

“Serves her right for hogging the television,” I whisper back. She giggles and then kneels to rummage through a cabinet.

“Oh where is it?” she grumbles from somewhere in the back. “Ah! Got it!”

Maria emerges from the cabinet with her hair ruffled, a triumphant grin on her face and a bottle of brandy clutched in her hand.

“Let’s make the cocoa extra special tonight,” she whispers, pouring a shot into each of our mugs, and she winks at me.

She hurries back up the stairs with her penguin mug and stolen cookies and then waves to me impatiently from the top. I don’t know how I got this lucky, but I have the best girlfriend in the entire world.

––––––––

“Girl Scout cookies taste great on their own, but they’re even better dipped in alcoholic cocoa,” I babble, my mouth stuffed with delicious, chocolatey goodness. I know that I’m being a terrible pig, but I’m starving.

“Do you think anyone’s ever uttered that sentence before?” she asks, smiling at me in between sips.

“Eh... first time for everything.”

She’s let her hair down again tonight, and I still can’t get over how beautiful it is. Her pale skin and green eyes stand out in sharp contrast against her black hair, and I feel like it somehow draws me in. She’s stunningly pretty.

She daintily picks up a mint cookie and dips it in my cocoa.

“Hey!”

“Oh fine, you can do it to mine if you want,” she moans, rolling her eyes exaggeratedly.

I dip a carrot in her cocoa just because I can, and she sticks her tongue out at me.

“Happy now?”

I make a face at her and she laughs.

“So... we’ve got alcoholic cocoa and plenty of cookies,” I say, leaning back against the pile of pillows on her bed. “Now all we need is a game to play.”

She raises an eyebrow as she munches on a carrot stick, but says nothing.

“Hell, let’s go back to high school again!” I exclaim, clapping my hands together.

“What are you talking about?” she asks, clearly confused. “High school was horrible.”

“Truth or dare?” I challenge her, and she stares blankly at me. My words finally click in her brain, and she bursts out laughing.

“You can’t play that with only two people!”

“Sure you can! It’s so much better like that,” I argue back. She puts her hands on her hips and rolls her eyes at me.

“Go on,” she groans, humoring me. “I can’t wait to hear how it’s better with only two.”

“Because you trust the other person already and there’s nobody else around to overhear your secrets,” I whisper. Her eyes widen and she takes in a sharp breath before turning away from me.

“Then why not just play ‘Truth’ and skip the dare thing if you’re never going to pick it?” she counters, quickly regaining her composure.

“Hey, sometimes they’re fun,” I tease. “Also, there’s brandy in our cocoa, so we can blame it for anything stupid we do.”

“Ah! An important consideration indeed,” she exclaims, raising both a finger and an eyebrow, and she laughs. “Okay, I’ll play your stupid game just as long as I can blame the brandy.”

“Fine by me! Truth or dare?” I demand, pointing a celery stick at her.

“Truth.”

“I... well, give me a second,” I stammer. “I didn’t actually think of a question yet.”

She laughs and pretends to check her watch.

“What’s the most embarrassing thing you ever did?”

“Oh you’re a jerk,” she groans, and I grin at her.

She leans back next to me on the pile of pillows with her hands behind her head as she thinks, and I try my hardest not to stare at her shirt. I can’t believe how hard it is to keep my eyes from drifting.

“Um... I was thirteen, so I think this was seventh grade. I was feeling really sick and went up to tell the teacher I needed to go to the nurse,” she finally blurts out. “Before I got to the front, I threw up all over this cute boy I had a crush on.”

“Oh wow... that’s awful,” I groan, covering my face. I’m embarrassed for her and I wasn’t even there.

“Yeah, it was pretty bad,” she agrees, and she takes a sip of her cocoa. “Your turn now. Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

She makes a face at me, but then her eyes light up as she figures out what to say.

“I dare you to tell me the truth to this next question...”

“Hey, that’s cheating!”

“House rules,” she solemnly declares, “and this room counts as my house.”

“Oh, fine. Truth.”

“Good choice,” she says with a wink. “Who’s the first girl you ever kissed?”

“A girl named Jessica, back when I was a freshman here,” I answer.

“Oh...”

Her voice trails off, and she looks disappointed that my answer wasn’t her.

“Didn’t work out?” she asks hopefully, and she perks up again as I nod in reply.

“Nope. She was kind of a bitch, and we ended up hating each other. Easiest breakup ever.”

“Back to you, Maria.”

“Truth,” she states matter-of-factly, and then she turns and kisses me on the cheek. My face gets hot and I feel my smile spread from ear to ear.

“Were you worried that I would say I was still interested in Jessica?”

Her face turns red as she nods.

“Yeah... I was worried you might be interested in someone else,” she quietly confesses.

I put down my cocoa and squeeze her tightly. A smile works its way across her face, and she laughs and hugs me back.

“You’re the only girl for me, Maria,” I whisper in her ear, and she practically glows as she kisses me. Her nervousness melts away as her lips touch mine, and as she hugs me tightly, I wonder how long she’s been waiting for me to say those words.

“Okay, back to you again. Truth or dare?” she asks.

“Dare!” I call out, grinning wildly. She’s ready for me this time, though.

Maria takes one sip of her cocoa and then whispers, “I dare you to give me the best kiss you’ve ever given anyone.”

My body reacts instantly to the longing in her voice, and my heart pounds in my chest.

“You’re okay with that?” I whisper back, and she nods.

“I wouldn’t have dared you if I wasn’t.”

Her eyes widen in anticipation as I lean toward her, and then they slowly flutter shut as our lips meet. I can feel her shiver as my lips brush against hers, and my arms somehow find their way around her, pulling her close to me as we lay back on the pile of pillows. She shivers again as I run my good hand through her hair, and I passionately press my lips into hers.

Her lips slightly part and mine match hers on their own. I can taste the brandy and chocolate as my tongue dances with hers. She moans as I gently drag my teeth gently along her lower lip and then release her. Her face is pink and she looks as turned on as I feel right now.

“Your turn again,” I whisper. “Truth or...”

I don’t get the last word out before she’s on top of me and pushing me down onto the bed. Her lips crash into mine in a long, ardent kiss that takes my breath away. I draw her in and my heart skips a beat as I feel her chest press against mine. She kisses me again almost frantically as I run my hands through her hair. I feel like I’m going to catch fire and burn away from longing and desire. Something about the way she trembles with her eyes closed as she breaks away, gasping for air, is so intensely intoxicating that I pull her right back in again.

Maria lets out a soft moan as I hold her against me and leave a trail of kisses down her neck. Her skin feels like it’s burning, and I can taste the salt on her skin with each kiss. Her mouth hangs open as she gasps in please, her eyes are closed, and she’s almost shaking now.

I can’t help myself anymore; she’s too irresistible. Before my brain even realizes what the rest of me is doing, I grab her by the hips and roll her over so that I’m on top, looking down at her, and I kiss her with a passion I’ve never felt before. She cups my face in her hands and moans in delight as our lips find each other’s again.

With her eyes still tightly shut, Maria grabs my hand and pulls it to her waist. She’s not wearing a dress tonight—just her usual black jeans—and I don’t understand what she wants until she starts dragging my hand slowly up her side.

“Touch me, Owen,” she almost begs, her eyes wide and her voice barely above a whisper, before kissing me again. Her lips quiver as they press against mine, and now it’s my turn to start trembling. I’ve never felt this connected to anyone, and it’s as if we’ve picked up right where we left off after our dance. I want her so much that it’s all I can do not to give in completely to what my body wants right now.

Maria moans softly, still quivering as I explore her body. My fingers run gently up from her hips to her ribs and then trace alone the underwire of her bra through her shirt. I want to touch her so badly, but I can’t bring myself to do it.

“Maria? Are you okay?” I whisper, kissing her softly on the cheek. “You can tell me to stop.”

“No,” she gasps. “Don’t stop!”

She grabs my hand and pulls it higher, pressing it to her breast. She’s soft and warm, and I feel her chest rise and fall beneath my hand with every frantic breath she draws.

I can’t do it like this. I’m nervous that I’m pushing her too far, too fast. If I don’t stop—if I let myself do what my body is begging me to—I’m going to hurt her. I just know it.

“Maria,” I whisper, lying down on my side next to her and putting my arms around her, “I need you to lead me. Show me what you want me to do.”

She leans into me and her back burns against my chest even through our clothing. She gently takes my hand in hers and trembles as she slides it down her body again. This time when she reaches her waist, she pushes me beneath her shirt and back up her body.

My heart races frantically as Maria releases my hand. Even though I’m scared to keep going, my body is reacting to her desire. She presses back against me as my fingers reach the underwire of her bra again, this time beneath her shirt, and she rolls her hips against me with longing. I cup her breast in my hand, gently squeezing her through the smooth, soft fabric of her bra. I feel a tiny lace bow sewn in the middle where the two cups meet. With a deep, nervous breath, I slide my hand slowly underneath her bra and touch her bare skin.

“Please don’t let me hurt her... please God, don’t let me hurt her,” I silently pray over and over as she writhes at my touch.

Her breath comes in short, intense gasps as she presses herself against me and, and I nearly faint from excitement as she reaches up and grabs my hair. Her eyes roll back in her head as I fondle her and leave a line of kisses from her neck up to her cheek.

How can I ever go back from this? I’ve never felt more alive or wanted in my life, and I hope more than anything else in the world that she feels the same way.

She suddenly grabs my hand again and pulls it down and away from her breasts. A lump of panic forms in my throat as she drags my hand gently down to her jeans. She stops with my fingers barely touching her beneath the waistline, and she releases me again.

“Maria...”

“Please, Owen!”

Raw emotion fills her voice and sets my mind on fire as she pleads with me. I hesitate, lingering at the waist of her jeans even after she unbuttons them.

“I need this,” she whispers.

She turns and looks back at me over her shoulder, her beautiful eyes wide and filled with longing. I’d do anything for her—anything in the world—but I’m still scared. I’ve never gone this far before and I know she hasn’t either.

I may feel lost, but at least we’re lost together tonight.

“Okay. Show me what to do.”

She smiles at me like an angel and then guides my hand down beneath her jeans. I gasp sharply as my fingers graze against the elastic waist of her underwear. My mind wasn’t prepared for the strange, incomprehensible feelings that are welling up inside me, and I barely move a muscle until Maria starts guiding me again. The elastic lifts and rides over my hand as she takes my fingers down between her legs.

She moans in intense pleasure and leans back against me as she slowly guides my fingers, shivering with each stroke. The shivers turn to writhes as she presses my fingers firmly against her one last time, releases my hand, and lets me go.

“Harder,” she whimpers, her voice ragged as she rolls her hips against me, and she cries out in ecstasy as I obey her. I must be dreaming; there’s no way this can be real. What did I do to deserve to be with the girl of my dreams while she teaches me how to be intimate with her? Either I’m the luckiest guy alive or I’m about to be the saddest when my alarm clock goes off.

Maria is suddenly very still, almost rigid, and her mouth opens wide as if she’s silently screaming. Her eyes close tightly, and she starts to shake like nothing I’ve ever seen before.

Just as I’m about to pull my hand away in fear, I suddenly realize what’s happening. I’ve never seen a girl have an orgasm before, and Maria’s on the brink of one.

Suddenly, her eyes open wide, and my heart sinks in my chest as I see the darkness and terror rising inside them.

“Let go of me!” she cries out hoarsely, and she struggles to get away from me. “No! Don’t touch me!”

I yank my hand out of her jeans and instead hug her tightly as she hits me again and again, trying to break free of me. I’m not letting go of her—not until she calms down and talks to me.

“Let me go!” she screams, and she starts to cry. Her chest heaves as she buries her head in a pillow and bursts into tears.

“It’s okay,” I tell her, still holding her close. “It’s me... Owen. I’m not going to hurt you.”

I lay by her side, gently embracing her as she sobs into the pillow. Time ceases to matter as I lay beside her, and I don’t know if minutes or hours have passed when her tears finally subside and she settles into a deathly silence.

“Maria, please talk to me,” I beg her.

She slowly turns to face me, and her eyes are red and puffy from crying. I feel terrible now. This is all my fault, and I wish I could go back in time and fix whatever I did to hurt her.

“One more round of truth or dare, please," she whispers shakily. "You ask."

“Okay... truth or dare?” I whisper back to her.

“Truth.”

“Did you ever have something really terrible happen to you?” I ask, and I brace myself for the answer.

She nods and buries her face in my shoulder as she starts crying again. I hold her close, gently running my hand up and down her back. I can wait as long as she needs.

“When I was fifteen, I went to visit my brother at college,” she whispers, choking up as she tries not to cry. “He left me alone at the apartment when he went to class, and his roommate raped me.”

Everything suddenly makes sense now, but my heart still sinks into my stomach at the sound of her tears.

“Oh God, Maria... I’m so sorry!”

“Every time I blow up on you like this, I’m having a flashback,” she whimpers. “It’s like I’m losing my mind, like my body wants me to go back down into my own personal Hell again.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper again, not knowing what else to say. All I can think to do is hold her close.

“No, it’s me that should be sorry,” she protests, holding back her tears. “You’re the one who has to put up with my messed up...”

“No. Don’t even go there.”

“But it’s true!”

“You deal with my problems,” I counter, squeezing her tightly. “I can deal with yours.”

Her voice is so sad that I almost want to cry on her behalf now. Does she really believe that she’s a burden to me? Meeting her is the best thing ever to happen to me!

“Owen, I can’t predict when the flashbacks come,” she whispers, almost as if she’s confessing a horrible crime. “You deserve someone you can trust—someone less broken than me. You’re not messed up like I am.”

“You’re right. I’m not,” I reply, looking her straight in the eye. "I’m the Owen style of messed-up, and you’re the Maria style... and do you want to know something else?”

“What?"

I kiss her softly on the lips before finishing.

“I don’t care if you’re messed up. I am too. It doesn’t matter how lost we were, because we found each other anyway.”

She smiles radiantly at me.

“Besides, you deserve someone better than me,” I continue. “You deserve someone who isn’t living in terror of his father—someone who doesn’t have nightmares about his sister.”

“But then I wouldn’t have you!” she protests.

“That’s how I feel about your flashbacks, Maria,” I whisper to her with a soft smile. “You have to take the bad with the good, and you’ve got more of the good than I ever imagined.”

She puts her arms around me again and snuggles up close.

“Owen?” she whispers, not looking up at me.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“You’re worth it, Maria,” I whisper back, stroking her hair softly. “You’re totally worth it.”





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