Chapter 7
Lilly hurried home from the Planks’, wondering if the daylight would dispel the sense of unreality from the day before. But there was no sense denying it, she was engaged to Jacob Wyse. She almost laughed out loud at the absurdity of the thought. She felt both excited and anxious, and no matter how confident she’d tried to sound to Alice, she wasn’t sure what it would be like to actually be his wife—not when he readily admitted his feelings for another. She shook her head at the sudden well of tears that filled her eyes. It didn’t matter that he loved Sarah; she was used to being lonely. She could withstand it in marriage as she could as a daughter, sometimes as a teacher. Besides, she knew that at the very least he would be courteous and that was good enough for her. And, she reasoned, brushing away her tears, the Lord could accomplish much with time. Then she swallowed hard as she considered her mother.
Weekday mornings always heralded the worst in her mamm, and the day after her announced engagement would be no exception as far as Lilly was concerned. She went into the kitchen and had just hung up her cape when her mother’s voice came plaintive and shrill from up the stairs.
“Jah, Mamm. I’m coming.” She hastened up the stairs to her mother’s doorway. The room was darkened, as usual, by the heavy press of bulky furniture placed against the drapes covering the width of the windows. When Daed had died, her mother had moved from the bright master bedroom on the first floor to the much smaller guest room on the second floor.
Lilly stood poised in the doorway, not really wanting to enter because of the oppressive feeling that her mother would continue to have more to say about the engagement and Jacob Wyse. “What would you like for breakfast, Mamm? I’ve got more than enough time to do bacon and eggs.”
“Fried cinnamon toast. My stomach might not hold much else. I had barely a moment’s rest last night after you shocked me so.”
“I’m sorry, Mamm,” Lilly said with sincerity. “But you know how much Daed liked Jacob. I’m thinking he would be proud.”
“He may well have been; your father loved anyone who loved animals. But that doesn’t excuse the fact that this hurried engagement doesn’t sit well with me. Not one bit.”
“Jah, Mamm. I realized that last night.”
“Well then, go on and get my breakfast and give me a moment’s peace.”
Lilly blew out a breath, then went down to the kitchen and turned up two kerosene lamps, remembering the brightness of the Wyse home. She got the woodstove going and set about beating an egg with ground cinnamon and milk and sighed aloud as she stirred. It was at this time of the day that she missed her father the most. Mamm had always been last to rise, and Lilly and her daed had a playful and merry time cooking breakfast together until Mamm came down to join them. Lilly knew that it wasn’t what other Amish mothers did, but she didn’t care. Not when she had her father’s steady smile and kind eyes to reassure her that everything was all right, even if it was different. Mamm had been normal in her own way—waking late, but working long into the night on quilts or fine needlework for other women. She’d had a tendency to be sad and angry at times, but nothing like the despair she seemed to sink into when Daed was gone.
Lilly dragged her thoughts back to the present, dropped a pat of butter into the frying pan, and set about cooking the piece of bread she’d soaked in the cinnamon mixture. It was soon finished, and she pulled out the usual tray, then added a small jug of maple syrup to the plated food and a brimming cup of tea. She gulped down her own tea, then snatched up the tray and went back upstairs. She settled the tray on her mother’s lap and stepped back, waiting.
“It looks soggy, but I suppose it’s the best you can do. I want you home directly after school today. Mrs. Stolis is bringing over some fabric from the dry-goods store for me to choose from, and you’d better be here to take proper measurements. I was going to have a blouse made, but now I fear I will need a new dress for the wedding instead.”
Lilly’s head began to throb at the thought of what she herself would wear to her wedding. Her mind couldn’t remain there long because of the more pressing issue of what they owed on the various debts her mother continued to incur. It seemed as though her mamm had taken to spending money on things she didn’t really need as a way to try and comfort herself. Lilly knew even Mrs. Loftus, the bishop’s wife, had tried to speak to her about it. But the talk hadn’t deterred her mother; she didn’t seem to find comfort in the things Lilly might have expected.
“Mamm, I could easily go to the Stolises’ with your measurements. There’s no need for her to come by on a weekday with all of her work at the store. And I thought we’d talked about the fact that my wages can only stretch so far—you had three new blouses the month before last.”
Her mother frowned as her teacup rattled against its saucer. “We’ve talked of this before, Lilly. I told you that I am trying to cut back on the spending that brings me pleasure. I guess at least, with Jacob Wyse’s money, we will stand some chance of you not bringing this up again.”
Lilly slid from the doorway and pressed her thin fingers to her temple as she escaped down the staircase. Here was another thing she hadn’t considered—the Wyse family wealth. Would Jacob’s family think she sought to marry him for money? Of course, the bishop made sure that all the widows of the community were tended to with food and help with work about the house and farm, but what was needed did not always extend to what was wanted. And her mother did seem to find temporary solace in material things.
Lilly wished that she could improve her relationship with her mother, but when she tried to talk to her, it either produced a furious tirade, hours of wrenching tears, or a silent withdrawal into the darkness of room, bed, and soul. Lilly felt she could not bear any in great amount for much longer. Yet, she had to; she’d promised her father. It had been one of the last things he’d asked of her before succumbing to cancer—that she would care for her mother. Although she had no idea what havoc his death would bring to her heart and spirit, she could not break her word to the man who’d loved and nurtured her throughout her young life.
Today her teaching waited for her. It wasn’t until after she left the house to go to the barn that she recalled that she was without transportation. She’d insisted last night that Jacob take Ruler and the buggy since she felt it would be difficult for him to walk the distance to get Thunder. He’d promised to return the horse the next morn.
She frowned as she opened the barn and found what she expected—no buggy and no horse. She was puzzling out what to do next when she heard the sound of sleigh bells echoing down the lane.
She turned, her heart beating with expectancy, as she watched Ruler appear from around the house. But instead of Jacob, it was Seth Wyse who hopped out of the buggy, his hat off and a wide smile on his handsome face as he came toward her with an outstretched arm.
He bent and pulled her into a quick embrace, then set her back on her feet. “Lilly Lapp, my dear and soon to be schweschder-in-law. Let me offer my most sincere congratulations.” He gave her a contagious grin until she had to smile back, then he swept her up into the buggy.
“I added some sleigh bells to Ruler’s tack this morning. Hope you don’t mind. He’s got a tendency to lag a bit and the cadence of the bells might improve his trot.”
“It’s—fine.” Lilly felt overwhelmed by his greeting and wanted to ask about Jacob.
Seth laughed aloud. “My bruder’s still in his bed. I let him sleep. Even Jacob’s got to have a bit of a rest after a gunshot wound and an hour with Tom Granger.”
“So, he talked to Mr. Granger?”
“Bought the mare, free and clear. You don’t have to worry that your future husband will land himself in jail.”
Lilly felt a rush of relief but was still unsure of how to converse with Seth Wyse. If Jacob was dark and brusque, then his brother was all cheerfulness and light. She felt flustered by his obvious and enticing charm. Yet she remembered his paintings and the serious depth they conveyed. Perhaps Seth’s demeanor was as much a cover as she suspected Jacob’s could be. Of course, in reality, Seth had spoken to her many more times in the past than his brother had, and she decided to just relax and enjoy his goodwill.
She felt Seth glance at her and decided that he, too, must share his brother’s talent of perception because he casually touched her arm as she hugged her book satchel to her chest.
“Lilly, seriously, I don’t know everything about you and Jacob, but I’m glad to welcome you to the family.”
She turned to smile at him. “Thank you, Seth. I appreciate your welcome, and I hope I can make a difference in Jacob’s life.”
“Oh, you’ll make a difference, Blue Eyes, don’t worry about that.”
Lilly couldn’t help the blush that she felt stain her cheeks. She wasn’t used to compliments, especially teasing ones. She couldn’t help the feeling of pleasure that rushed through her at his words.
“Now, that’s a rare thing in the ladies of my acquaintance,” Seth remarked as he turned Ruler easily.
“What?”
“A true blush. You’re a beauty, Lilly Lapp.”
Lilly opened her mouth to speak but shut it again when no words surfaced.
Seth’s thoughtful glance brushed over her, his own blue eyes like the color of the sea. “Sometimes, a rose grows in winter, and we miss it for all the snow.”
She blinked as her heart began to race a bit at his strange comment. It was the artist in him, she realized, that made poetry of words, and she couldn’t help but feel intrigued. But this was Jacob’s bruder.
He laughed, breaking the awkward moment. “Never mind. Here we are.”
She was surprised that they were already at the school.
He came around to help her down and then tied Ruler to the wooden hitching post.
“Ach, how will you get home?” Lilly asked in alarm.
“Easy.” He grinned. “A good mile jog across two sodden fields never hurt any man.” He tipped his hat to her. “Have a good day, sweet schweschder.”