Chapter 35
I just thought it my duty to stop and let you know, Lilly. You’re not much older than my Kate and I don’t want to see you hurt.” Mrs. Zook gave her a forlorn look and sniffed into a large hankie.
Lilly had just seen Mrs. Beiler and Abel off a few minutes before when Mrs. Zook had marched into the schoolhouse.
“Mrs. Zook, I’m sorry that you’re struggling with Kate, but I hardly think that Jacob and Sarah stopping to speak to one another should be any concern.”
“Well. You can certainly choose to ignore my care in this, Lilly. In the absence of your mother, I think it’s only right that—”
Lilly put up her hand to silence her. “I trust my husband, Mrs. Zook.”
Mrs. Zook leaned forward as if dispensing delicious gossip. “He had his hand upon hers, Lilly—and they weren’t shaking hands.” Her eyebrow rose as if waiting for a response.
Lilly tried not to let the sudden fear rising in her show. “As my mother is returning home tomorrow, Mrs. Zook, I really must clean up and prepare for tomorrow’s lessons. If you’ll excuse me …”
The older woman turned on her heel, her cape whirling about her. “Very well, Lilly Wyse. And I won’t say that I was the first to give you news that might save your future.”
“Good day, Mrs. Zook.”
Lilly sank to her desk chair as the door slammed close. She put her throbbing head in her hands and tried to ignore the venom of the so-called “duty” in the woman’s gossip. It had been a difficult day as it was, knowing her mother would return home the following day, dealing with Abel Beiler, who was sweet but was obviously going to be the most challenging student of her teaching career thus far. And, she was adjusting to marriage—a difficult thing under ordinary circumstances made even more difficult by the fact that her husband was distracted by his love for another woman.
As much as she wanted to, she could not still the fear that rose stronger within her heart. She began to pray that Derr Herr would give her release from her worry.
Jacob inched deeper beneath the pile of quilts on the floor, then rolled over on his stomach to play with the crack in the wood floor in the darkened room. He knew Lilly was awake too. He could tell from her rustlings and her breathing. He’d grown used to waiting for the even cadence of her breath before he allowed himself to fall asleep.
Something was bothering her … he could tell from her pleasant but thoughtful manner at supper—clearly forced. Probably she was worried about her mamm’s homecoming …
“Abel Beiler came to school today,” she spoke quietly from the bed.
He rolled over and propped himself up on one elbow, trying to see something in the sooty dark.
“How is the boy? It can’t be easy to have lost your father so recently.”
“I don’t know how he is—what troubles him and what doesn’t.” She briefly outlined Grace Beiler’s explanation of her son’s health.
“Maybe a special school is the answer, Lilly. I’ve heard that the teachers are kind and have more help in the classroom.”
He heard her bedclothes shift. “I know, but I feel that the Lord wants me to try with him. He’s really no bother, actually more of a puzzle. It’s not that he disobeys or is disruptive …”
On his side now, Jacob propped his head on his hand. “Then what is it?”
“Sometimes he’ll engage with the class and then, for no clear reason, drifts away into his own world.”
“Is that so bad?”
“Well, it’s distracting in a way I can’t describe. Sometimes he’s rocking a bit. Sometimes mumbling softly to himself.”
“Have you spoken with Alice yet? Surely she’ll have some ideas. How much longer has she been a teacher over in the next school?”
“Three years. Not a lot more, but I know she’s had some challenges. I’d planned to talk with her soon.”
She shifted again. He remained silent, sensing she had more to say.
“Jacob, I’ve thought about whether I might be vain in trying to teach him myself. I don’t think that’s the reason—truly, it’s a conviction of my heart.”
“It is Derr Herr who brings conviction to the heart. When He does, we are wise to listen.” Jacob thought for a moment. “How old is he? Seven? Can he read?”
“Some. It’s hard to tell, but he understands what’s being said. He’s insightful and can speak with high intellect when he chooses.”
“You know, when I’ve gotten hold of a colt that’s been badly or cruelly broke, or just one that seems a little slow or stubborn to other people, I often hitch him to a well-broken horse, one that can kind of act like a—”
He heard her clap her hands once. “Like a mentor! Jacob, that’s perfect! But I wonder which student might be best for him.”
He cleared his throat as an impulsive idea came to his mind. It was out of his mouth before he could consider. “I could do it.”
“What?”
He went on slowly. “I might be able to help the boy some way. He’s just lost his father—I don’t know. Maybe he’d like horses …” He trailed off. Probably a silly idea.
He heard her fling back the quilts, then heard her bare feet hit the floor. Then she was leaning over him in the pitch dark, her hands on his chest. “Ach, Jacob. You’re brilliant and so very kind. If you can spend some time with him in the evenings or maybe after school, it might give him confidence or make him calmer. I’m so proud of you that you’re willing to suggest this.”
She bent and hugged him, a quick, frustrating touch, and then she rose and pattered away. The bed creaked as she got back in, and he stifled a sigh.
After a few minutes, just when he thought she might be drifting off, she spoke again, her strained tone very different from only a few moments before.
“Mrs. Zook stopped by the school today. She said she saw you and Sarah meeting together on the roadside.”
“What? That old troublemaker.”
“She said you had your hand on hers. She said it looked affectionate. She said you weren’t shaking hands.” Her voice shook a bit more with each statement.
He didn’t even attempt to stifle the sound of disgust that blew from the back of his throat.
“Well, did you?”
He didn’t like her accusation, especially when he’d offered to help her with one of her students and she’d responded with excitement. “Jah, Lilly, that we were. Sarah was tired of Grant’s company, despite the fact that she’s going to have his boppli, and I decided to dishonor my bride in full view of everyone. That’s what we were doing.” He slammed his pillow down and rolled over, covering his head.
“How do you know?”
“What?” he snapped, yanking the quilt back down.
“How do you know she’s pregnant?”
He almost groaned aloud. Could he not learn to keep his big mouth shut? But there was no help for it now. “She told me.”
“Even Mrs. Zook didn’t know. You must have been the first she told.”
He thumped his pillow hard. “No, Lilly, I was not the first. I’m sure Sarah told her husband and her family and then maybe me. I am not first of anything with Sarah. And I don’t want to be. Not even second or third. Look, I want to go to sleep. Is that all right?” He shouldered the quilt and let his sarcasm hang like frost in the chilly air of the room.