Chapter 34
Lilly was at school early the first day back after the holidays. A little more than two weeks off was always more than enough for her, although she knew she’d miss seeing Jacob throughout the day. She glanced around the classroom with pleasure as she waited for the students to arrive. The school board had made sure, as it always did, that volunteers had come during the break to thoroughly clean the small building. The windows sparkled and new corkboard had been hung in convenient spots around the room.
As was her usual custom, Lilly had decorated one of the main boards with a “welcome back” image, this time a tree and large snowflakes. she’d found the idea in the never-ending resource of Amish teachers everywhere, The Blackboard Bulletin. She had carefully lettered each student’s name on one of the snow designs and was happy to have added Abel Beiler’s name to the rest of the class.
She’d heard that Grace Beiler and her son had moved in the previous day, and she guessed that the Zook children would probably stop by and have the boy walk with them to the schoolhouse. She’d just adjusted the world globe and was straightening some papers on her desk when steps sounded outside on the porch. She looked up as the back door opened, not expecting a student so soon.
Seth entered, hat in hands, and a strange expression on his face as a beautiful, petite Amish woman in a long cloak walked in behind him. She wore a black bonnet that framed her pale face, black hair, and, upon closer inspection, wide pansy-purple colored eyes and sooty lashes. A young boy peeped from behind her cloak folds.
Lilly stepped from behind her desk to greet them.
“Lilly, this is Grace Beiler, and her son, Abel. I … uh … was passing by and thought I’d help introduce you.” Seth sounded odd despite the warmth of his greeting.
Lilly extended her hand and shook the other woman’s cold fingers. She didn’t try to engage the child, who was obviously too shy to come forward, but smiled at his mother. Then she looked at Seth and the word smitten came to mind.
“Why, thank you, Seth. I think we’ll be fine from here.”
“Uh, right. I’d better get back to the farm. Mrs. Beiler, Abel, a pleasure. Lilly, have a gut day.” He slapped his hat on his head and seemed to shake himself, then made for the back door.
When he was gone, Lilly spoke softly.
“Ach, Mrs. Beiler. I’m so glad to meet you and to have you as part of our community. I hope you’ll be happy here.”
The woman smiled faintly, but Lilly noted the bruise-like shadows beneath her eyes and knew how difficult the move must have been in addition to the loss of her husband.
“Please, call me Grace. I … I wanted to talk with you about Abel before the other students came. I’m not sure what you’ve been told.”
Lilly’s lips parted. She didn’t like discussing things about children directly in front of them and was going to suggest that Abel go to the play yard when Grace gave a slight shake of her head. “I’d prefer to keep him here,” she said softly. “I don’t always know how he’ll react in new situations.”
Lilly nodded. “Since the accident with your husband, you mean?”
“No, always. Abel has a traumatic brain injury from birth and quite a few delays because of this. We—my husband and I—took him to the best neurologists in Philadelphia. He has issues with short-term memory loss, mental processing, and handwriting. But he is capable of learning, if you can reach him.” Her beautiful eyes scanned Lilly’s face. “I can tell by your expression that my letter didn’t get to your school board in time to explain—”
“Um … no … but that’s fine. Has he attended school before?”
“Jah, for a year and a term in Ohio. He was making progress somewhat but then my husband … well … we had to move. Would you feel more comfortable if I put him into one of the special schools? I’m told that Elk County has one.”
It was true, Lilly considered quickly, that there were schools for students among the Amish with unique needs or learning styles, but she felt convicted in her heart to give things a try with Abel Beiler.
“I’d like to try, Mrs… . Grace. And please, call me Lilly.” She smiled as the other woman’s face cleared. She really is remarkably beautiful, Lilly thought. And there was no guessing her age. She somehow appeared both young and old at the same time. “Perhaps you might come in for another conference later this week and give me some more details about his medical and academic history.”
“Thank you, Lilly, I will.” She pulled a small metal bucket from beneath her cloak, then turned to press it into Abel’s hand. “I’ve brought your lunch pail.” She knelt beside her son, and Lilly got her first clear look at the boy’s face.
He was small and as fair-skinned as his mother; his eyes, too, were hers—wide violet blue, with a feathering of dark brows. He had a worried pucker about his lips and his small chin quivered as his mother murmured to him. She kissed his cheek, hugged him hard, and rose to smile at Lilly.
“I work from home—quilting—and I’m only a half mile away. If there are any problems …”
“Please don’t worry, Grace. We’ll be fine. He’ll have a good day.”
The woman nodded and slipped from her son’s grasp, hurrying back down the aisle and out the door.
Abel sank to the floor as if devastated and hugged his arms around himself, rocking back and forth. Lilly decided to let him be; he was obviously self-soothing and that was good.
She went about her classroom preparations, keeping up a gentle flow of conversation to which the child didn’t respond. She pointed out his seat and his name on the snowflake on the wall and then went to the back of the room to greet the other students as they began to file in.
“Children, we have a new student. Abel Beiler. Please say hello.”
Reuben Mast frowned as he sidled past the still rocking boy to get to his seat. “What be wrong with him, teacher?”
“What is wrong, and the answer is nothing. Abel will just learn differently than some of us do. And …” Her gaze swept the room of quiet students, now assembled. “I expect you all to give him the help and care he may need to become adjusted to being in a new school and new home. Do you all understand?” Her tone was warning, but her eyes were expectant, hopeful. She saw the older students catch on by their nods. “Good. Then let’s proceed.”
“Since we all made it through the Christmas program, we’ll now return to our regular schedule. I’ll start off this morning by reading from the Bible. Let’s see …” She went to her desk, walking around Abel, and picked up her Bible.
“I’ve chosen Isaiah 45:3 to begin the New Year. ‘I will give you the treasures of darkness, And hidden wealth of secret places, So that you may know that it is I, The Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name.’” She closed the Bible. “Who can tell me what that means?” She waited expectantly, raising a brow at her older students.
Abel spoke in a monotone, still rocking. “It means that there are good things in life that can come out of bad—out of the dark.”
All eyes swung to the boy on the floor. Lilly swallowed. “Yes, that’s right, Abel. Very well done. Are there any other thoughts?”
No one else seemed to know what more to say, so she asked them to rise for the recitation of the Lord’s Prayer. After the prayer they moved on to sing. As their voices began to rise, Lilly noticed that Abel got to his feet. He held onto the desk next to him with a thin arm and hummed along with the others to the traditional hymn.
In the still isolation
You find my praise ready
Greatest God answer me
For my heart is seeking you.
You’re always here
Never still though silent
You rule the yearly seasons
And you set them in order.
This cold winter air
Calls with mighty feeling.
See what a mighty Lord,
Summer and Winter He makes.
The song ended and the class sat down, and Lilly breathed a faint sigh of relief when Abel did the same.
Jacob was riding fence on the border of the Wyse farm along the highway when a horse and buggy slowed to a stop near him. He rode closer in the frosty glare of the midday sun on the snow. He squinted beneath his hat as he recognized Sarah. She leaned to the side of the buggy and smiled at him. He noticed with vague surprise that her face inspired no particular change in his heart rate, no sudden pang of regret or longing. It almost was as if he were free from a spell cast long ago, that he’d woken up and discovered that reality was more than fine—it was freedom. He smiled and reached his gloved hand out to her. She took it lightly and they shook hands over the top line of the fence.
“Where are you off to, Sarah?”
“Town … I’ve got to buy some fabric.” She tipped her head shyly. “I’m going to make some baby clothes.”
He raised a brow, then burst out with the first thing that came to mind. “You’re pregnant? Sarah, that’s wonderful.” And he meant it, he realized. He could have gotten off his horse and danced with incredible joy. It stunned him. He was genuinely happy for her and Grant.
“Jacob, thank you.” Her radiant smile warmed a part of his soul, but it was a distant warmth—not the flame of emotion he felt when he was with Lilly. Was Derr Herr making everything new?
“Now tell me, how is Lilly’s mamm? Grant says she’s making great strides.”
“Jah, we’re to fetch her home tomorrow afternoon. We couldn’t have made it without Grant’s help. He’s a gut man, a gut doctor.”
“And it’s not taken you long to figure that out,” she teased.
He laughed. “No, not long at all. I’m sorry, Sarah. I wish I could have seen things clearer, earlier—for everyone’s sake.” He reached out and touched her hand with affection and they both looked up as another horse and buggy came trotting past on the opposite side of the road. Mrs. Zook gave them a speculative look and a stiff nod.
Sarah smiled at him once the other woman had passed. “It was good to see you, Jacob.”
“Good to see you too. And pass my congratulations on to your husband.”
As she picked up the reins, he waved, then turned to keep checking the fence, a broad grin on his face.