Twenty-Two
BAILEY’S BEDROOM FLOOR WAS ALMOST PERFECTLY CLEAR. Brandon had helped a lot, as it turned out. Sorting through her things and organizing clothes into one corner of the room, school work and books in another, and memories — as he called them — in another.
It was early Wednesday afternoon, which meant she was leaving in four days.
She and her mom would fly out together, and her mom would stay most of the week to help her get situated and to assess the safety of her neighborhood and the walk she would have to take to the theater each day. Together they would take four suitcases, packed to overflowing. Until yesterday they weren’t sure if Bailey would have to live in a hotel for the first few weeks, but finally, around six last night, the production assistant called with good news.
“We found the perfect place,” his New York accent was thick, but Bailey understood every word. She held her breath waiting for the details. “It’s an older couple with an apartment three blocks down from the theater. He used to be a producer, and now he’s an investor. He and his wife take in dancers from out of town … with a couple restrictions.”
Bailey was thrilled. She grabbed a piece of paper and a pen. “Go ahead.”
The man went on to explain that the couple wouldn’t tolerate drinking or smoking. “And here’s the one that usually makes them a tougher placement option,” he hesitated. “No guys in your room.”
A quiet ripple of laughter slipped from Bailey’s lips before she could stop herself.
“Hmmm … so that’s a no, I take it then.”
“Wait.” Bailey laughed again. “Sorry. No … I mean, it’s a yes. It sounds perfect.”
“No pets, either.” He was clearly reading from a list.
“Fine. I don’t have pets.” Her family did, and she would miss them … their four cats and two dogs. But she wouldn’t have considered bringing a pet to New York City. Bailey checked her notepad. She didn’t have any notes jotted down yet except one — the word perfect. “Is that it? What’s the rent?”
“Cheap. Just two hundred dollars a month.” He paused. “And it comes furnished. How’s that sound?”
“Like a dream.” Bailey was amazed, too baffled to believe the situation was as good as it sounded. “What’s the catch?”
“None.” It was his turn to chuckle. “Usually the dancers have one of those vices, you know … smoking or drinking. And if not, then they sure don’t want any parent-figure telling them they can’t bring guys into their bedroom. Last Broadway dancer to stay at the Owens house was three years ago.”
Bailey thanked the man, and he gave her the other details. The couple’s names, their address and phone numbers. He assured Bailey they’d be expecting her and her mother Sunday afternoon. They even had theater tickets to Mary Poppins and wanted to know if the two of them might want them — since they’d be out to dinner with friends that evening.
The phone call ended and Bailey rushed to tell her mom and dad. None of them could imagine a better scenario, and after she’d shared all the details, her dad did what they always tried to do when God had clearly answered one of their prayers. He put his arms around their shoulders, bowed his head, and prayed — the sort of moment she would miss like crazy once she was gone.
And she would be gone far too soon.
She checked the time on her watch — not quite two o’clock. Shopping could be done once she got to New York, but she and her mom wanted to make a trip to Target for a few last minute hair and makeup items — the things she wasn’t sure she’d find easily in Manhattan. “You in here?” Her mom sounded sad. It wasn’t something anyone else would’ve noticed. But Bailey was that close to her — and she was sure. Her tone wasn’t what it would usually be on a sunny spring Saturday morning.
“Yep.” Bailey poked her head out of her bathroom door. “Tackling the drawers in here.”
“Wow.” Her mom joined her, leaning against the bathroom counter. “Your room will be cleaner than it ever was when you lived here.”
“I know.” Bailey smiled. She stopped for a moment and looked behind her at her clean floor and neatly made bed. Every drawer and inch of her closet had been gone through and organized. She faced her mom again. “I feel like I sorted through my childhood and said goodbye to half of it.”
“Me too.” Her mom’s eyes were filled with yesterday. “I can still see you in my arms, the day we brought you home.” She laughed, but it came out sounding something like a cry. “The nurse walked with us out to our little blue Honda, and we had to work to figure out how to buckle you in.”
“That must’ve been crazy … I mean, babies don’t come with a manual.”
“Exactly.” She shook her head, the memory still dancing in her eyes. “I remember the nurse sort of made a face like, ‘Good luck,’” her mom sighed, and folded her arms in front of her. “Your dad and I climbed in the car, and before he started the engine he looked at me and hesitated. Then he said, ‘I have no idea how to do this, do you?’ Well … after I laughed for a minute, I had to agree. I had no idea, either.”
Bailey loved this, when her mom remembered back to when Bailey was a little girl. “It’s weird, because I can’t remember any of that. But for you … watching me leave. All of that probably feels like it just happened.”
“Like it was last week.” She smiled, but a tear slid down her cheek. She laughed at herself, unable to stop the tears that followed. “I’m sorry, honey. I promised myself I wouldn’t do this.”
“Ahh, Mom.” Bailey went to her and they hugged for a long time. “I’ll be back. You know that.”
“Of course.” She sniffed, trying desperately to keep the moment light. “It just won’t be …” She waved at the room behind them. “It won’t be the same.” She wiped her eyes and lightly she touched Bailey’s hair, her cheek. “I was up with you at three a.m., wondering what I was doing wrong and why you wouldn’t stop crying … and I sat on the floor, telling myself I would never find a way to potty train a one-year-old … and we worked through geometry problems on the dining room table until I thought the semester would last forever.”
“Or at least three years.” Bailey gave her mom a nervous smile. “I’m sorry about that. I never was very good with math.”
“But the point is …” another tear slid onto her cheek, “I thought those stages would last forever. I mean, I knew better.” She laughed again, fighting what seemed like an endless well of missing. “Everyone told me, ‘Hold onto every minute … it won’t be like this forever,’ and I would smile and nod and think, ‘she’ll never sleep through the night.’” She reached for Bailey’s hand. “And now … just like that you’re all grown up and leaving.”
“I remember feeling like high school was a lifetime away.”
“Exactly …” Her mom stepped back and dabbed at her eyes once more. “I guess it’s just … being in your room and seeing it all cleaned.” She glanced at Bailey’s bedroom again. “Reminds me that we don’t have much time left.”
Something about her mother’s words struck a nerve, and Bailey could feel her expression change. She didn’t have long at all, and what about Cody? He didn’t even know she was moving. She and her mom walked back into her room and they sat on the sofa near her window, turned in, facing each other. Her mom still had hold of her hand. Bailey pushed thoughts of Cody from her mind. “That was nice of Brandon … flying out to help me.”
“It was.” Her mom seemed grateful for the distraction, anything but talking about how soon Bailey would be gone. “Has he called?”
“He texts me every day. But no … we haven’t talked.”
Her mom was quiet for a long moment. “He’s very nice, Bailey.” Her mom sniffed, a thoughtfulness in her tone. “So much different from when we first met him. I don’t know …”
Bailey smiled, but she understood what her mom meant. “He won’t let up, that’s for sure. The way he talks about us … his feelings for me. It used to be more like he was teasing. But now …” She shrugged slowly. “Now I have to really think about the two of us … whether it could ever work.”
“You don’t have to, honey.”
“No, I didn’t mean it like that. I mean … I love being with him, and I can see it, the two of us … it’s complicated, I guess.”
Her mom watched her, waiting for a long time before she spoke. “Why do I have the feeling you weren’t thinking about Brandon when you first switched subjects?”
“Hmmm … yes.” She smiled and released her mom’s hand. Leaning the other direction she reached for the framed picture of Cody and her. “I see this every day, and I can’t believe he hasn’t contacted me.” She set the picture back down. “You said there wasn’t much time left … and I thought how crazy it is … Cody doesn’t even know I’m moving.”
The hesitation that followed made it feel like her mom knew more than she had said. “Dad talked to Ryan Taylor an hour ago … I guess he found out Cody’s the new varsity coach at Lyle High. That’s one of the reasons I came up here.”
“What?” This was the first news they’d heard about him since January. Bailey’s mind raced. “Where’s Lyle?”
“It’s a small school northeast of Indianapolis toward the Ohio border.”
“That far?” Bailey felt her eyes widen. She returned the photograph to the end table. “So that’s like what, three hours from here?”
“Your dad and I looked it up on the map. It’s more like two hours … maybe a little less.”
Bailey didn’t want to acknowledge the hurt in her heart, but there was no getting around it. “He’s coaching in another city? And he didn’t call?”
“He did try stopping by …” Her mom winced, as if she hated to bring up Cody’s recent attempt to reach out to her.
Like a hundred times before, Bailey could see his eyes again, looking at her in his rearview mirror as he pulled away. “You’re right. He did … maybe because he’s basically changed everything about his life in the last four months.”
“Coach Taylor said the position came about quickly. And Cody’s still living in Indianapolis, taking classes at night and commuting to the school every day. He teaches PE too.”
Bailey’s mind raced and she felt dizzy, so much that she wondered if she might fall off the couch. They had known everything about Cody for years. Now … to think he’d moved on to a fulltime career and a head-coaching job without telling them … it was one more bit of proof, right? “He really doesn’t want anything to do with us.” She lifted her eyes to her mom’s. “I mean, how else can we read that?”
This time her mom had no answer. She looked down for a few seconds and shook her head. “Your dad and I just got through saying the same thing.” Her tone found a level of hope again. “We did decide that we’ll invite him for dinner sometime. After you’re gone.”
Bailey wanted to ask why they would wait until then, but she understood. The feelings she and Cody had shared not so long ago complicated the relationship between him and her family. “I wish you and I could go see him … so I could tell him goodbye.”
“Bailey …” She didn’t need to say anything. Her expression — though kind — said it all.
“I know,” she breathed in, trying to put him out of her mind, “like a dying man in the desert.” She smiled, but that didn’t stop the fresh pain these new details brought. Why would he start a new life out there and not text her … not call her parents? Did he really think stopping by her house one time was all the attempt he needed to make? She stood and picked up a list off the end of her bed. “Want to run errands with me?” The ache in her heart wasn’t going away any time soon, but she needed to get things done.
“Target?”
“Yes, and I still need to stop by Walgreens for those prints.” She had picked out a bunch of pictures from her family’s photo library, and she and her mom had ordered prints online. Some of them would go on Bailey’s wall in her new room, and the rest would go in an album.
She guessed the photos would become the favorite part of her new living space.
“Sounds good.” Her mom stood and headed toward the door. “Meet downstairs in five?”
“Perfect.” Bailey waited until she was gone before returning to the picture of Cody and her. How could she leave Indianapolis without talking to him? Without at least telling him that she was moving and letting him know how she felt — that she didn’t want him running off the other day and that he should’ve called. Or at least texted. Suddenly, without giving the matter any real thought, she picked up her phone, found his number, and dialed it. Her heart pounded as she dropped to the end of her bed and waited.
One ring … two …
She could do this, right? He had been a part of her life since she was a freshman in high school. Telling him she was moving was the least she could do.
Three rings … four. His voice came on the line telling her to leave a message, and for a few seconds she let him talk, let the recording play out. The sound of his voice felt that good against the rough edges of her heart. But at the last second she didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to bridge the span of time with a simple voicemail. She hung up, and a plan began to form in her mind.
She and her mom could make their couple stops and still have time to drive to Indianapolis. Maybe even to Lyle. The boys were staying late at school, and Dad could pick them up later. Besides, she and her mom would enjoy the adventure, right? One of their last before Bailey moved. They could use the GPS to find Lyle High, and surprise him … show up at his practice so he would know how much they cared. Forget the dying man in the desert business. Cody had been her friend before any other feelings complicated matters. Bailey smiled at the idea, and just like that her heart felt lighter than it had all week. She was going to see Cody! She grinned as she ran down the stairs.
Now she only had to convince her mother.