Inhale, Exhale

CHAPTER THREE



“Dude, did you get a look at the new hottie Connie was bringing around this morning?” JT plopped down at the desk beside me, spinning around in two full circles before coming to a stop and booting up his iMac. He wore his customary wrinkled khakis with the company polo we all wore, his comic book tee shirt peeking out from under it.

I returned my focus back to my screen. “No, I didn’t see anyone this morning since I got here early to recode this algorithm. You know—the one we were both supposed to start on an hour ago?”

“Sorry, man. My mom forgot to wake me. But seriously, Grant. You’ve gotta go check this girl out. Smokin’ body, tight little ass, and that sweet Southern twang that hits me in all the right places, if ya know what I mean.”

I rolled my eyes, ignoring his comments about the new girl. “JT, you’re almost twenty-five. Why is your mom still waking you up? Or for that matter, why are you still living at home? It’s just sad, dude.”

JT flicked his pen cap at me using a rubber band as a slingshot. I ducked as it whizzed by and landed in my now-empty coffee cup.

“Whatever. I have it made. I don’t have to cook or clean, all my laundry is done and folded when I get home, and it’s free. Why would I give that up?”

There was no talking sense into him. “You live with your mom! How do you expect to ever get a girl like that?”

He swiveled toward me and bent slightly, placing his elbows on his knees and steepling his fingers by his chin. “Any chick who wants a piece of this,” he paused, running his hands up and down his body like a Price is Right model, “better be down with my ma living with us. I mean, ever since Pops left, she’s been real sad and shit. What kind of son would I be if I didn’t let her take care of me and just moved out?”

“You’d be the kind of son with more than only his left hand to keep him company.” I stood up, tossing my empty cup in the trash. I’d never understand how JT scored girls’ numbers every time we went out. He dressed like a slob, had terrible manners, but yet girls still fell all over him. I asked him once. He winked at me and told me it was because he could pass for Joshua Jackson’s twin brother (and often did to get laid). The bastard had all the luck.

“You’re one to talk. I don’t see you sportin’ any arm candy. When’s the last time you even had a date? Or hell, a one-night stand?” He crossed his arms over his chest triumphantly.

“Yeah, but that’s by choice. I don’t need the hassle or drama right now, and that’s all these spoiled sorority girls bring. I’ve got to finish my Masters so I can get a job out in Silicon Valley and get out of the humid-as-f*ck hell-hole that is Southern Georgia.”

JT scooted back to his workstation. “Oh God, not this again. If I have to hear about ‘The Plan’ one more time, I might poke my eyes out with a spoon. I think I’d rather be forced to teach computer basics to the Senior Center than listen to that crap again.”

“I’m not gonna make you hear it again, I’m just sayin’ that you’re two years older than me and I’m more of an adult than you. It might not be a bad thing to grow up a little, Peter Pan.”

“What? And be like you? I’ve known people in retirement communities with more of a social life than you. All you ever do is work, study, and hide in that crappy apartment of yours. If it wasn’t for rowing, I don’t think you’d willingly socialize at all. Do you even remember what fun feels like?”

“I have fun,” I protested. Well, I sometimes have fun. “And it’s called being an adult. I have responsibilities. Goals. You know, other than getting shit-faced or seeing if I can remember some random girl’s name in the morning. Maturity! You should try it sometime.”

I knew I was a little more boring than most guys my age, but I couldn’t afford to slack off. I refused to end up like my father, who got married right after high school, never went to college, and then was stuck with no options after he took a spill off a ladder while painting a house one day. He was put on disability when I was ten and hadn’t been able to find a decent job since.

Then Mom died in a car accident when I was barely sixteen, and Dad shut down. She was the greatest woman in the world, and I understood why my dad loved her so much, but it was like losing both parents when the depression took over. His grief consumed him and he’d been a shell of a person ever since.

I was forced to grow up fast, taking jobs in high school fixing computers or, when I was desperate for cash, hacking for anyone who’d pay. I had always been good with computers, and it was easy money. I felt guilty as hell doing it, but it was either that or go hungry after Dad spent the last fifty bucks of his SSI check on scratch offs.

I quickly earned a reputation as a discreet and reliable hacker, changing grades here and there or wiping a stolen cell phone or computer clean for resale. I knew it was wrong, but I was desperate. And as soon as I graduated with a secure full ride to college, I refused to do it ever again.

What I was forced to deal with as a teenager was the main reason I rarely dated now. Not that I didn’t miss all the fun that went along with dating, but I never wanted to be put in his position, where I gave every part of myself to another person and had nothing left when they died. I needed the purpose, focus, and stability a good career provided, and I needed to do everything in my power to make sure that happened. Girls didn’t fit in the picture.

JT’s voice jarred me from my thoughts. “How about, instead, we head over to Savannah tonight and pick up a couple sweet vacationing honeys we can give the down-and-dirty personal tour? C’mon, be my wingman. Look, don’t take this wrong ‘cause I don’t swing that way, but you’ve got everything the girls want. I mean face it, man, you know the girls would drop their panties at just the sight of that mug of yours, with the All-American look you’ve got goin’ on. And I know you spend hours workin’ out and rowing for our crew team, so your body is almost as killer as mine.” He flexed a muscle at me, but I rolled my eyes. “Chicks love you, and together we could score the cream of the crop. And then make them cream. Get it?”

Was this guy for real? “First, it’s a Monday, JT. And second, I’m not driving an hour one way to hit on girls. I can do that here in town.” As soon as it was out of my mouth, I knew the mistake I’d made. I’d opened Pandora’s Box and given him the idea I wanted to hang out with him tonight and hit on girls.

“Sweet. So where we going then? The Corner Bar? Hightowers? Dirty Pete’s?”

God, it’d been forever since I’d been at any of those places. When did I become this boring? Not dating seriously was one thing, never going out was another. I was driven, not dead. Maybe JT was right. Maybe I needed to get laid. Just a meaningless one-night stand. It would peel a few layers of stress off but wouldn’t mess up The Plan.

An alert on the screen in front of me told me there was yet another error with the code I’d written. No, there’d be no girls tonight. At this rate, I’d be sitting in front of this computer for the next week straight.

“All right, I’m outta here. I need more coffee and some sugar before I strangle you. When I get back, we gotta do some serious work on the algorithm, so be ready.”

JT cracked the knuckles on his fingers. “Let’s do this shit.”

I choked out a laugh as I left. JT might have been a social idiot sometimes, but he had mad skills when it came to coding, HTML, Linux, or anything else I threw his way. I headed to the break room where they had one of those coffee pod machines rather than the sludge they tried to pass off as coffee in the main lobby. I took the long way around in order to avoid ten people stopping me with moronic questions that could all most likely be solved by restarting their computers, but apparently I wasn’t stealthy enough.

“Grant! Yoo hoo, Grant!” Connie waved her arms frantically in the air as she prattled toward me, struggling not to be out of breath.

I paused, knowing it was no use to attempt to dodge her, and pinched the bridge of my nose as I closed my eyes, saying a quick prayer that for once she would keep this short. I was never going to finish coding the algorithm at this rate. “Yes, Connie? How can I help you?”

“I’m so glad I caught up with you. I’ve been looking for you all morning.”

“It’s only nine-fifteen, Connie.”

She didn’t respond to my Monday morning snark but pursed her lips disapprovingly. “As I was saying, I need your help. We have a bright new face joining our team this morning, and I need you to set up her computer and passwords and such. She’s over with Temperance right now but should be free this afternoon.”

I bit my cheeks to keep from laughing. If the girl was spending the morning with Temperance, I may not need to set up anything. Four hours listening to stories about Mr. Meow-Meow was enough to drive anyone to quit.

“I’ll set her up later today.”

“Oh, thank you, Grant. Her name is Jillian. Her mom’s such a dear friend of mine from church. I’m so happy I could help her out with a job while she’s on summer break from the Georgia State. Or was it The University of Georgia? Either way, she’s such a sweet girl. Her mom once told me—”

“I gotta get going, Connie. I’ll be sure to set Jenny—”

“Jillian,” she corrected.

“Yes, Jillian, as soon as I finish the project I’m working on now. I’ll see you later.”

I didn’t give her a chance to keep talking. Instead I wove my way through three rows of cubicles, ignoring anyone calling my name, and finally made it to the break room. I spun the carousel, looking through the selections. “Butter Pecan, Pumpkin Spice, Crème Caramel. Why can’t there be one that just says ‘coffee-flavored coffee?’” I grabbed the least girly flavored one and placed it in the machine, tapping my fingers impatiently as it brewed its magic.

“Hey, Grant. How was your weekend?” Tonya slid up next to me. The chick was pushing thirty but still acted like she was sixteen, wearing too-tight jeans and too-low-cut tops, too-heavy makeup that didn’t hide the premature wrinkles she got from smoking since she was probably a teenager. Don’t get me wrong, she was attractive for a woman her age, but I wasn’t interested.

She wasn’t one for subtlety and had been overtly hinting she wanted to go out with me for months. Yes, she had a great body and would be fun for a weekend or two; the drama that would result afterward was not worth the hassle. She’d never settle for one night, and I wanted no part of a relationship.

“Hey, Tonya. It was fine, thanks for asking.” I didn’t bother to ask how hers was. I knew it would lead to a ten-minute conversation about shopping, or nails, or something else I could give two-shits about. “Well, I gotta go. Bye.”

“Wait, Grant.” She reached out and grasped my arm, forcing me to stop or be a complete a*shole and yank out of her grip. And while I might have been teetering on the edge, I wasn’t that much of a douche. Yet. “A few of us are having a bonfire out at the beach on Friday. I was hoping you might be able to make this one.”

The words “no, thanks” were on the tip of my tongue, but suddenly the hurt in her eyes forced me to swallow them down. Tonya had asked me to the last four in a row, and I’d turned her down each time. Something about JT’s earlier words and the longing in her eyes chipped away at my resolve.

“Yeah, maybe. I might check it out for a bit.” I’d drink a few beers, have a few laughs, and pretend I was a normal twenty-two-year-old for once. And who knows, maybe I’d even have fun.





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