The sight of him made me giddy with joy. After last night’s argument, I thought he might have had second thoughts about escorting me. My actions probably frustrated him. Unintentional, but aggravating all the same, I played an unfair game of keep away with my heart—almost giving, then taking back at will. Jake was never shy about expressing his feelings for me. Though his job as a doctor kept him working like a madman, he made sure I knew he cared for me. Within a handful of dates, Jake had managed to fill the void left by my parents who had passed away years ago.
Jake showered me with both love and attention from the very night I met him. Whenever we separated, emptiness followed. How odd that a man I met less than two months ago could have such an effect on me.
“Hi, Jake. I’m so happy to see you. Have you been waiting long? I wish you had called me.” I rushed out of the car as quickly as possible. Jake walked over to greet me.
“Hi, Beautiful. You look stunning,” he murmured, kissing my cheek. “Do you not have your phone on you? I called and texted all day but you never answered. You had me worried.”
“Sorry. I guess I forgot my phone at home.” I stopped to hug him. “I’m really happy you’re here. Let’s go in. You can use the guest room to get ready.”
“Did you not believe me last night when I said I was coming to pick you up at six?”
In all honesty, I didn’t know what to believe. Even with his apology via text late last night, I wasn’t convinced that he wanted to attend this ball with me. A teeny tiny part of me also wished to attend alone—though I’d never admit this to Jake or even to Sarah. It had been eighteen months since I’d seen Max. As to how I’d react when I saw him again was anybody’s guess.
“Well?” he prodded.
I smiled and answered, “Go in and get dressed.”
Fortunately, he didn’t push for an answer but he began to take off his scrubs before closing the bathroom door. His body look liked one of the many replica statues of Michelangelo’s David that populated the city of Florence. His body and face were close to perfection.
Deep breaths!
I went in my room to look over my dress, added a strand of pearls, and touched up my makeup while Jake got ready.
Jake walked into the living room wearing a black tuxedo, and he looked perfect.
“You look amazing,” he exclaimed, putting both arms around my waist. I smiled, embarrassed and guilt-ridden, as I wasn’t quite sure who I had gotten this dolled up for—him or the ex.
“You look pretty amazing yourself. I’m going to have to fight off all the ladies in the ballroom,” I teased.
Jake shook his head in laughter and reached for my fingers. Hand in hand we walked to his car, and for the first time in a very long time, my heart rejoiced at the longing, the awakening I felt. Like a musician dusting off the cobwebs of a neglected instrument, I wanted to play again. I wanted to excel and perform in the symphony again. My heart wanted to love again.
Yes, I would let go of the pain that had lived in me for so long and tonight, with Jake and Max in the same room, would be the test.
“So what kind of college student were you?” Jake asked even before we got into the car.
“What do you mean?”
“You look like the straight-A sorority girl with lots of friends. Is my assessment correct?” Jake had a know-it-all grin on his face.
“You are so wrong about me.” I gave him a don’t-think-you-have-me-figured-out-already look. “I did well in English and history but struggled miserably through math and science. Those were probably your best subjects, huh?”
“I had to do well in those subjects. Look at the profession I chose. But weren’t you popular in school?” He reached over and held my hand.
“Nope. I had a few close friends, along with Max, and that was it. Can’t you tell by my overwhelming enthusiasm to all your advances that I’m as shy as they come?” I joked with my date. “To your dismay, I’m sure, you’re dating an introvert who will frustrate you with her self-doubt and vacillation. I might as well have blinking lights and a hazard sign on me.” At this point, I couldn’t help but let out a giggle. “Does my testimony scare you?” From what I had seen of Jake, I was confident it wouldn’t.
“You have to do a lot more than that to scare me.” He leaned over for a kiss. “What I see is a kind and gentle spirit who looks out for others before thinking of herself, and who likes me a lot more than she’s willing to admit.”
Now we both broke into a chortle. Hard to admit, but he was right. Like was not a strong enough word—adoration, bordering on love? Perhaps love wasn’t the right emotion, but whatever I felt, it wasn’t public knowledge, yet. Though my heart thumped arrhythmically whenever Jake was around and his presence caused much bliss and anxiety at the same time, I was too afraid to give my heart completely to anyone again. I’d have to profess my heart to him soon—possibly tonight if we got the chance.
After valeting Jake’s car and walking into the hotel lobby, a thousand twinkling lights cascaded off the chandelier above us. We marveled at each Christmas tree, meticulously decorated in a multicultural theme. Jake held my hand, and as we strolled into the ballroom, my nerves jingled not much differently than the Christmas bells nearby.