“What clue?”
“Emperor Royce—he was terrified of that possibility. Royce Melborn on the throne—could there be a more frightening thing? That’s why he never told us. He brought us together hoping you would change me, but he couldn’t fix me. I’d spent too many years learning to hate. I’d lost the value of life. Then he learned about Mercedes. I’d lost my humanity, but she was clean. He could educate her, make her into the perfect ruler.”
“Arcadius? But why would he kill Gwen?”
“That’s my fault as well. I told him that she had agreed to marry me. He knew we would come for Mercedes and all that he invested in her would be lost. He never thought in his wildest dreams that I would ever take that step with Gwen, and when he found out, he had to kill her before she had the chance to tell me about my daughter.”
He looked up at the stars and ran a hand across his face. When he spoke, his voice quavered. “I told Arcadius she was at the Winds Abbey. He hired Merrick to take her and bring her to Colnora. He was there before the meeting, hiding with a crossbow.”
Royce turned to Hadrian and his eyes were moist. “But what I can’t understand is that he loved her too. So how could he pull that trigger? How could he watch her scream and fall? How frightened must he have been to do that? How much of a horror am I?”
“Royce.” Hadrian placed a hand on his shoulder. “You’re not like that anymore. You’ve changed. I’ve seen it. Arista and Myron, they’ve mentioned it as well.”
Royce laughed at him. “I killed Merrick, didn’t I? I never even gave him a chance. And if it wasn’t for Arista, Modina would have died in the fire I set. I can’t be a father, Hadrian. I can’t raise… I’m evil.”
“You didn’t kill Magnus. Even after he told you his plans to double-cross you again, you let him go—you forgave him. The old Royce didn’t know what forgiveness was. You aren’t him anymore. It’s as if—I don’t know—it’s like some part of Gwen came to you when she died. She’s still alive in there somewhere, still literally your better half.”
Royce wiped his eyes. “I loved her so much—I miss her so much. I can’t help feeling it’s my fault, my punishment for the life I’ve led.”
“And Mercedes?”
“What about her?”
“Is she a punishment? She’s your daughter. A part of Gwen that still lives. She has her eyes, you know… and that smile. The gods don’t give a gift that precious to someone so undeserving.”
“Are you my priest now?”
Hadrian stared at him.
Royce looked back down at the stream below. “She doesn’t even know me. What if she doesn’t like me? Few people do.”
“She might not at first. Maribor knows I didn’t. But you have a way of growing on a person.” He smiled. “You know, like lichen or mold.”
Royce looked up and scowled. “Okay, forget what I said. Definitely steer clear of the priesthood.” He paused, then said, “She does look like Gwen, though, doesn’t she? And her laugh—have you heard it?”
“She told me that her mother said her father would make her a fairy princess and that they would live in a beautiful place where she would be a queen of the forest.”
“Did she?”
Hadrian nodded. “Seems a shame to disappoint her, and if Gwen told her that, it must be true.”
Royce sighed.
“So will you take the throne from Modina?”
“Emperor Royce? I don’t think so. But I’m stuck with the job of elven king, aren’t I?”
“How’s that going, by the way?”
“Funny as it sounds, I think they’re terrified of me.”
“A lot of people are terrified of you, Royce.”
He laughed. “I feel like one of those guys in the circus that train bears with just a chair and a whip. They destroyed half of Apeladorn without a single loss of life on their side and the only thing stopping them from finishing the job is me and their crazy religion. They really hate humans but are convinced I was chosen by Ferrol to be their ruler. To disobey me is to disobey their god. To kill me is unthinkable. So here they are, ruled by a human who they must obey and can’t kill. You know they’ve got to be panicking.”
“Only you aren’t human.”
“No—I’m neither.”
“Maybe that will help.”
“Perhaps.”
“So you still haven’t told me. What do you plan to do?”
Royce shrugged. “I don’t know yet. How could I? I don’t know anything about them, really. I do know that I’ve seen cruelty from both sides. After seeing how Saldur’s empire treated people like me, I can understand the elves’ hatred. The old me certainly remembers that feeling, the certitude of justice, the purity of unquestioned purpose.”
“And the new you?”
Royce shook his head. “I forgave Magnus, for Maribor’s sake.”