“Cheers, Flynn. I really appreciate everything you’re doing. And have done.” I don’t want to embarrass him but I am stupidly grateful that he is Neve’s brother.
“Don’t mention it, mate. Just don’t fuck up again. You hear me?” There’s no laugh behind his words. I know how seriously he means it.
“I won’t. I promise.” I promise him. I promise Neve. I promise myself.
“Good. Now don’t get funny about it, but there’s been another guy on the scene. I thought you should know before you get there. Just in case he’s around or anything.” My heart heaves into my throat and I want to be sick. There’s been someone else?
“Who? The only one she’s mentioned is the gay one, Mickey.” I’ve laughed at her stories about him and been glad for the friendship he has offered her, knowing he’s no threat.
“I don’t know all the details. Cass has been a bit cagey about it as she’s caught in the middle of me and Neve. All I know is he’s an American and wants, or wanted, to go out with her. I think he’s been a bit of a fuckwit about it all and she got upset. Ask her about him but don’t go all caveman, okay?”
“Umm, yeah, thanks for the advice. Speak soon.” I end the call, still fighting the urge to vomit. As much as I hate myself for thinking it, I wonder if she’s kissed him. Touched him. Made love to him. My fists burn and I punch the shit out of my pillow until the bed is a feathery mess. Better that than his face.
It’s not her fault if she has. I dumped her. It’s my fault. I cry out, frustrated that I am to blame if she has.
“You all right?” Grace asks, rushing into my room. I may have taken her advice before, but I’m not up for sharing this with her.
“Yeah, just a bit frustrated.” My stomach clenches with the understatement.
“Oh. You won’t be as frustrated after the weekend, though, will you?” Her cheeky grin tells me she means what she implies
“Grace! You’re my sister. My little sister. Go wash your mouth out with soap or something. I don’t want to hear that sort of stuff coming from you!”
“For God’s sake, I’m seventeen and live surrounded by the Internet. If you think I don’t know about that, you’re sadly mistaken! Now, what are you doing to romance Neve this weekend? I assume I’m allowed to use the R word?” I throw a handful of feathers at her before filling her in on my plans, secretly seeking her approval.
“Anyway, why are you in here? I thought you were getting your UCAS application in tonight?”
“I’m almost done. It’s just weird, you know? Once I hit ‘send’, that’s it. I’m leaving home. Leaving Mum and Josh. And you,” she adds, leaning into me.
“And that’s a good thing. It’s what we all want. You have to do it.” I’m thankful she doesn’t remind me about Mum saying those exact words to me two years ago. But this is her life. And I want it to be different to mine.
“I know. And I want to do it. It’s just kind of… scary.” I hug her to me.
“’Course it is. But it will also be amazing and wonderful and exciting. You’ve got so much talent, Grace. Being able to develop that, be around professional actors and directors, is what you need. You can’t get that here. You’ve outgrown this.” She has. When I look at her, I can see how bright her future could be. When I watch her on stage, absorbed by other people’s lives, she amazes me. “I’m proud of you, kid.” I kiss the top of her head before pushing her off the bed. “Now go and finish that form!” She blows me a kiss and waltzes out of my room.
Feeling calmer, I pick up my phone. I fight the urge to tell Neve about the change of plan, and I know if I speak to her in person I’ll end up telling her.
Me: Hi babe xx
Neve: Hi babe xx You packed?
Me: Doing it now. Got busy day tomorrow xx
Neve: But I’m worth it! Still here for 8?xx
Me: Yeah. Can’t wait! Xx
Neve: Me 2. Missed you SO much xx
Me: Not long now though xx
Neve: Want to skype?
Me: Better not. Making an early start in the morning.xx
Neve: OK :( See you tomorrow xx
Me: I’ll be there before you know it! Xx
Neve: Love you. Xx
Me: Love you more! Night Myrtle.xx
Neve: Night Jake xx
My pen made notes in my Lit lecture, but my brain hadn’t retained one iota of the content. Something about Dickens? Frankly, Dickens was the last thing on my mind. As soon as the lecture was over, I needed to get back to my room and start the deforestation essential for Jake’s arrival that evening. I’d let everything go over the last couple of weeks; after all, none of it was visible down a webcam.