“Well . . . in a manner o’ speakin’,” said Hagrid, looking uncomfortable. “I sometimes say Fang’s near enough human —”
“There are three sets of footprints in the snow leading from the castle doors to your cabin,” said Umbridge sleekly.
Hermione gasped; Harry clapped a hand over her mouth. Luckily, Fang was sniffing loudly around the hem of Professor Umbridge’s robes, and she did not appear to have heard.
“Well, I on’y jus’ got back,” said Hagrid, waving an enormous hand at the haversack. “Maybe someone came ter call earlier an’ I missed ’em.”
“There are no footsteps leading away from your cabin door.”
“Well I . . . I don’ know why that’d be . . .” said Hagrid, tugging nervously at his beard and again glancing toward the corner where Harry, Ron, and Hermione stood, as though asking for help. “Erm . . .”
Umbridge wheeled around and strode the length of the cabin, looking around carefully. She bent and peered under the bed. She opened Hagrid’s cupboards. She passed within two inches of where Harry, Ron, and Hermione stood pressed against the wall; Harry actually pulled in his stomach as she walked by. After looking carefully inside the enormous cauldron Hagrid used for cooking she wheeled around again and said, “What has happened to you? How did you sustain those injuries?”
Hagrid hastily removed the dragon steak from his face, which in Harry’s opinion was a mistake, because the black-and-purple bruising all around his eye was now clearly visible, not to mention the large amount of fresh and congealed blood on his face. “Oh, I . . . had a bit of an accident,” he said lamely.
“What sort of accident?”
“I-I tripped.”
“You tripped,” she repeated coolly.
“Yeah, tha’s right. Over . . . over a friend’s broomstick. I don’ fly, meself. Well, look at the size o’ me, I don’ reckon there’s a broomstick that’d hold me. Friend o’ mine breeds Abraxan horses, I dunno if you’ve ever seen ’em, big beasts, winged, yeh know, I’ve had a bit of a ride on one o’ them an’ it was —”
“Where have you been?” asked Umbridge, cutting coolly through Hagrid’s babbling.
“Where’ve I . . . ?”
“Been, yes,” she said. “Term started more than two months ago. Another teacher has had to cover your classes. None of your colleagues has been able to give me any information as to your whereabouts. You left no address. Where have you been?”
There was a pause in which Hagrid stared at her with his newly uncovered eye. Harry could almost hear his brain working furiously.
“I — I’ve been away for me health,” he said.
“For your health,” said Umbridge. Her eyes traveled over Hagrid’s discolored and swollen face; dragon blood dripped gently onto his waistcoat in the silence. “I see.”
“Yeah,” said Hagrid, “bit o’ — o’ fresh air, yeh know —”
“Yes, as gamekeeper fresh air must be so difficult to come by,” said Umbridge sweetly. The small patch of Hagrid’s face that was not black or purple flushed.
“Well — change o’ scene, yeh know —”
“Mountain scenery?” said Umbridge swiftly.
She knows, Harry thought desperately.
“Mountains?” Hagrid repeated, clearly thinking fast. “Nope, South of France fer me. Bit o’ sun an’ . . . an’ sea.”
“Really?” said Umbridge. “You don’t have much of a tan.”
“Yeah . . . well . . . sensitive skin,” said Hagrid, attempting an ingratiating smile. Harry noticed that two of his teeth had been knocked out. Umbridge looked at him coldly; his smile faltered. Then she hoisted her handbag a little higher into the crook of her arm and said, “I shall, of course, be informing the Minister of your late return.”
“Righ’,” said Hagrid, nodding.
“You ought to know too that as High Inquisitor it is my unfortunate but necessary duty to inspect my fellow teachers. So I daresay we shall meet again soon enough.”
She turned sharply and marched back to the door.
“You’re inspectin’ us?” Hagrid echoed blankly, looking after her.
“Oh yes,” said Umbridge softly, looking back at him with her hand on the door handle. “The Ministry is determined to weed out unsatisfactory teachers, Hagrid. Good night.”
She left, closing the door behind her with a snap. Harry made to pull off the Invisibility Cloak but Hermione seized his wrist.
“Not yet,” she breathed in his ear. “She might not be gone yet.”
Hagrid seemed to be thinking the same way; he stumped across the room and pulled back the curtain an inch or so.
“She’s goin’ back ter the castle,” he said in a low voice. “Blimey . . . inspectin’ people, is she?”
“Yeah,” said Harry, pulling the Cloak off. “Trelawney’s on probation already . . .”
“Um . . . what sort of thing are you planning to do with us in class, Hagrid?” asked Hermione.
“Oh, don’ you worry abou’ that, I’ve got a great load o’ lessons planned,” said Hagrid enthusiastically, scooping up his dragon steak from the table and slapping it over his eye again. “I’ve bin keepin’ a couple o’ creatures saved fer yer O.W.L. year, you wait, they’re somethin’ really special.”
“Erm . . . special in what way?” asked Hermione tentatively.
“I’m not sayin’,” said Hagrid happily. “I don’ want ter spoil the surprise.”
“Look, Hagrid,” said Hermione urgently, dropping all pretense, “Professor Umbridge won’t be at all happy if you bring anything to class that’s too dangerous —”
“Dangerous?” said Hagrid, looking genially bemused. “Don’ be silly, I wouldn’ give yeh anythin’ dangerous! I mean, all righ’, they can look after themselves —”