Euphoria

‘What’s funny?’ I said.

 

‘You keep reminding me of things.’

 

‘Tell me.’

 

‘It’s just a story my father likes to repeat. I have no memory of it. He says at three or four I had a big tantrum and locked myself in my mother’s closet. I tore down her dresses and kicked her shoes all around, and made a terrible amount of noise, then there was absolute silence for a long time. “Nellie?” my mother said. “Are you all right?” and apparently I said, “I’ve spit on your dresses and I’ve spit on your hats and now I’m waiting for more spit.” ’

 

I laughed. I could see her with a round red face and a wild thicket of hair.

 

‘I promise that’s the last Nell Stone childhood vignette I will bore you with.’

 

‘Do you still amuse your parents?’ It was something I couldn’t imagine being able to do anymore.

 

She laughed. ‘Not in the least.’

 

‘Why not?’

 

‘I wrote a book all about the sex lives of native children.’

 

‘That is a bit less seemly than spitting on hats, isn’t it?’

 

‘A good bit less,’ she said in my accent. She put on Martin’s glasses. She’d been holding them in her hand. ‘The reactions to this book have been out of proportion. I was glad to escape the country.’

 

‘I’m sorry I haven’t read it.’

 

‘You have a pretty good excuse.’

 

‘I should have had someone send it.’

 

‘They haven’t warmed to it in England,’ she said. ‘Now go get some sleep. I’ll take this watch. Oh, look at the moon.’

 

It was the slightest paring, the rest of the unlit moon a faint aura behind it.

 

‘ “I saw the new moon, late yestereen, with the old moon in her arm,” ’ she said with a Scottish burr.

 

‘ “And I fear, I fear, my maister dear—” ’ I continued.

 

‘ “That we shall come to harm.” ’

 

‘ “They had na sail’d a league, a league,” ’ I said, thickening my own accent.

 

‘ “A league but barely three—” ’

 

‘ “When the lift grew dark and the wind blew loud—” ’

 

She joined me here, ‘ “And gurly grew the sea.” ’ I kept my eyes on the moon, but I heard the smile in her voice.

 

Americans could surprise you with the things they knew.

 

I’m not sure what we said after that, if it was a long time or a short time that went by before there was a snap and a thud behind us. We jumped up. Fen was on the ground in his hammock. I held the candle over him while Nell crouched down. His eyes were shut, and when she nudged him and asked him if he was all right, he said, ‘It’s always rough, this patch.’ And then, ‘Knock it with a shoe, yer git,’ and rolled over.

 

‘I think he’s trying to open a bottle of beer.’

 

We had a good laugh and left him be. I made a little bed with my extra clothes in the corner below my hammock. I didn’t think I’d actually sleep but I did, quite soundly, and they were packed up and waiting for me when I woke.

 

Nearly all the Wokup were on the beach to see us off. They yipped and hooted and the children flung themselves in the water.

 

‘A lot stronger on goodbye than hello, aren’t they?’ Fen said.

 

‘There never was a raid coming from the swamp,’ I said.

 

‘Probably not,’ Nell said.

 

Fen asked to drive the boat so I slowed and we wobbily swapped places. He opened up the throttle and we were off—fast.

 

‘Fen!’ Nell screeched, but she was half laughing. She turned around to face us and her knees brushed my shins. ‘I can’t watch. Tell me when we’re about to crash.’ Her hair, no longer plaited, blew toward me. The fever and loose hair, dark brown with threads of copper and gold, had brought an illusion of great health to her face.

 

If the Tam weren’t a good fit, they would go to Australia. This was my last chance to get it right. And I could tell she was skeptical. But Teket had been many times to the Tam to visit his cousin there, and even if everything he told me were only half true, I figured it should satisfy this pair of picky anthropologists. ‘I should have brought you here straightaway.’ I said, not entirely meaning to say it aloud. ‘It was selfish of me.’

 

She smiled, and instructed Fen not to kill us before we got there.

 

After several hours I saw the tributary we needed to take. Fen turned us toward it, letting in a little water on the port side. It was a narrow stream of yellowish brown. The sun disappeared and the air was cool on our faces.

 

‘Water’s low,’ Fen said.

 

‘You’re all right,’ I said, scanning for glimpses of the bottom.

 

The rains hadn’t come yet. The banks here rose high, walls of mud and coiling white roots. I watched carefully for the break Teket had told me about. He’d said it was soon after the turn. In a motorized boat it would come fast.

 

‘Here.’ I pointed right.

 

‘Here? Where?’

 

‘Right here.’ We were nearly past it.

 

The boat lurched, then slid into a tiny dark canal between what Teket called kopi, bushes that looked like freshwater mangroves.

 

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