CHAPTER Twenty-nine
By the time we reached the Bat Cave, aka the Elect hideout, I felt like I’d lived through a thousand lifetimes. In a word, I felt old and grumpy and bitchy. And really all I wanted to do was punch something… anything in the face.
Why would he do that to me? And in front of everyone? My fuzzy brain tried to come up with excuses. Maybe that’s how pitiful I had become in the way I felt about him. I tried to justify his actions. By replaying everything he said to me the night before, I succeeded in only making my stomach feel sicker.
He talked of protecting me, loving me, doing things he didn’t want to have to do. But what the hell? I mean, I get having to make rough choices. But if his plan all along was to make me look like shit in front of the student body, couldn’t he have at least warned me? Any girl, even if she knew the plan all along, would have been in tears.
I was pathetic because I had almost convinced myself that Nixon did all of that on purpose. That he wasn’t actually using me like Grandpa said.
“Damn it, Trace, listen to me!” Chase was in front of me, examining my face and swearing so much I would have blushed had I felt anything but numb from the pain. The boy had a mouth on him.
“What?” I licked my lips and refused to make eye contact.
He grabbed my chin with his hand and jerked my face toward his. “Do you need to go to the hospital? Lie down? Need a drink of water? Want a sedative? These are all the things I asked you on the way over, and again when I plopped you on the couch. Shit.” He released my chin and ran his hands through his hair. “What the hell was that? Are out of your freaking mind? You can’t just…” He pushed away from me and began pacing.
“You can’t just break down at school like that. Can’t let people see weakness. You’re better than that. I don’t care if the freaking President of the United States waltzed in here and told everyone you were a terrorist. You’re an Alfero for shit’s sake, start acting like one!”
And he just gave a whole new meaning to tough love. My mouth gaped open. I was too shocked to be hurt anymore. Did he just reprimand me for getting my heart broken?
I felt the sting of tears but I refused to let any more fall. Instead, I flipped him the bird and may or may not have dropped a really inappropriate word.
His stone face broke into a small smile. “Better, Trace. You can do better than flipping me off and telling me to go screw myself. I know this blows. Believe me, I know. But it’s the only way.”
“The only way?”
Chase nodded. “You and Nixon. You can’t happen. There’s too much history — too much drama, and with Phoenix lurking around campus, you can’t be the catalyst that brings this entire operation down. Believe me, you don’t want that and you don’t want Nixon to be tempted to do that.”
“Nixon.” I spat. “He can do whatever the hell he wants.”
“Good to know,” came the familiar voice.
My head jerked up to see Nixon in the doorway. His eyes uncertain as they flickered from me to Chase and then back to me.
Concern laced his eyes as he began walking toward me. “Are you okay?”
Rage boiled within me. Before I knew what I was doing I jumped from the couch and tackled him, banging my fists into his chest as anger and hurt coursed through me. Chase had to pull me off him and even then all I could do was crumple into Chase’s arms while the hot tears poured out of my eyes.
“I—” Nixon’s voice cracked.
“You’re making it worse, man,” Chase whispered. “Just go. She doesn’t want to see you. Hell, I don’t even know if I want to see you. I know why… I just think… This can’t be fixed by your bad ass mafia mojo.”
“But—” Nixon cleared his throat. “Trace?” It was a question.
“Just go to hell.” My voice was muffled in Chase’s shirt.
Chase swore. “Nixon, you had to choose. And I think you made it pretty clear to everyone within a fifty mile radius who you chose.”
“I just don’t know if I want to live with the consequences,” Nixon said.
“I guess we’ll see what this family really is made of.”
“Chase.” Nixon’s voice was hoarse. “Take care of her, please. Just—”
“Go!” I yelled, interrupting them.
Chase held me tighter and nodded his head once. I heard the door open and close, and I squeezed my eyes shut.
Exhausted, I didn’t protest when Chase lifted me, for the second time that day, into his arms and carried me back to the couch. I tucked my hands under my chin and closed my eyes. Within seconds the lights in the room were off. I heard a door lock and then I felt a warm body next to mine.
The couch was big enough for two people, so I scooted over while Chase lay down behind me and tucked me into his body. He pulled a blanket over the both of us and sighed.
“Chase?” I sniffled.
“Hmm?”
“Why are you helping me?”
“Because you’re hot.” He rubbed my arm and let out a laugh. “Trace, I’m kidding. Don’t get your panties in a bunch. I’m here because there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. Because I hate to see chicks cry, and although popular opinion states I don’t possess a heart, I actually do. So color me weird, but when I see a friend — and don’t scowl I can hear it from here. When I see a friend, a good friend, upset, I would freaking bleed myself out before letting them go through shit alone.”
“That was a nice speech. Did you practice it?” I found myself smiling even though my heart was still breaking and thumping in my chest as if it had permanently lost its rhythm.
“Very funny.” Chase pulled me tighter.
“Chase?”
“Yeah?”
“Why can you help me but Nixon can’t?”
“Loaded question, Farm Girl.” His hand moved back to my arm and he rubbed up and down in slow strokes. “He’s the mob boss. I’m the cousin. It’s different. I’m not even next in line. I’ve always done my own thing. I mean, yeah, I work for the family. I guess you could say I’m lower on the totem pole, so I don’t really matter as much. If anything, you’re better off with me than Nixon anyways. At least with me you won’t be a target for murder.”
“How… reassuring.”
Chase’s warm chuckle relaxed me. “Hey, you asked. Now, please try to get some sleep.”
“Will you be here when I wake up?”
“Always.”
I tried not to let his promise affect me. After all, Nixon had promised a lot of things too. I hated that my distrust and confusion of what Nixon did, totally spoiled any relationship I had with my friends, but I was still terrified that Chase would leave me just like Nixon, and in the end I’d be stuck with nobody. Because one thing was always certain in my life… everyone left. My parents, Grandma, even me… It was only a matter of time before those I loved left me too.