Dirty Little Secrets

“Just some. I remembered you said you liked the scent in the bookstore,” Alix said, looking me in the eyes but still demure. She was learning so well and so quickly, it was eerie and a bit frightening at the same time. How had I gone so long without someone so perfect for me? “Does this please you?”


“Very much. You’re a vision of an angel right now,” I said, brushing the hair in my fingers back behind her ear. “I asked you here because I’m giving you a choice. There is a key in the lock of this door. You didn’t notice yesterday, but I keep this door locked for a very specific reason. Any visitors who ask are told I keep legal files in there, but that isn’t true, as I’m sure you know. It’s my playroom . . . our playroom. First, a question. Do you want this tonight?”

“Yes, Kade. Very much.”

Her eyes were so wide they looked a deeper blue. She was so aroused, and I couldn’t deny it, I was too. “So here are your choices. We can go to my bedroom, and make love with no control, no Dom or sub or any of that. Or, you can unlock the door.”

I saw the questions in her eyes as she thought about what to do. I hadn’t told her anything about what was going to happen in there, and was asking her to trust me and my judgment, as well as my control. That was a lot for someone who’d only had sex with me once before. On the other hand, she was worried that if she said no, that I would be disappointed in her. I was just about to reassure her when she reached forward and twisted the key, the lock to the door making a small snick as it opened.

“I trust you, Kade,” she said simply, looking into my eyes. “What else is needed?”

I blinked, tears blurring my vision for a second as I nodded, then smiled. “Thank you. And as a reward, you may ask questions tonight. But there is only one way to refuse, as you know.”

Tudor Rose. Her safe word, it flashed through her eyes before she mouthed it silently. I nodded, and she smiled. “May I kiss you, Kade?”

“Inside,” I countered, twisting the door handle. I pushed it open slowly, letting Alix see the playroom. “You first.”

My playroom is painted in reds and blacks, red walls and black molding, with the various implements installed on black rails. In one corner I had the spreader bar attached to a heavy-duty pulley in the ceiling, used normally on the wrists, but Rita had, one time long ago when she had visited Portland and we were both feeling adventurous, let me use it on her ankles. There were eyelets in the floor as well for attaching to ankle cuffs, but I found them more of a hassle than anything else. They were only useful for restraint when inflicting pain, which if you needed to be restrained for, was too much in my opinion. I had no plans of ever using the floor eyelets with Alix.

In the other corner was my wall of toys, including handcuffs, leather arm and leg hobbles, and my cat o’ nine tails. Alix’s eyes fixed on it, looking at me with trepidation. “There is a technique to it,” I said simply, leading her over and handing her the device. “First, I never swing it full strength. Secondly, the lash must land on your back flat, not wrapping around or the tips getting a last second turn into your skin. That can tear and cut, which I’ll never do.”

Alix nodded and handed the cat back to me, where I hung it back on its peg. Her eyes then found another of the toys on the wall, a vibrating dildo. She shuddered and backed away, her already creamy skin going pale. “No . . . ” she said, fear in her eyes.

“Alix,” I said. “Stand still. Trust me, and stand still.”

I could see her eyes flicker from the toy to me, then back to the toy, then back to me. She was fighting herself, her inner will to say her safe word, and I was heartened when she regained control and stood still, her hands by her sides. “Yes, Kade.”

I took the dildo down and looked at it. “Tell me why you’re afraid of this.”

“Not afraid. Ashamed,” she replied, looking down at her feet. “The blackmail photo and video that Sydney has . . . he had me use one just like that.”

The idea that such a monster had done such a thing to my Alix caused my blood to boil, but I let my temper die, seeing that even with such pain, she trusted me enough to not run away.

“Alix, look at me,” I said. She raised her eyes, and I held it up slowly. “I can’t say I haven’t done the same thing with some of my subs. But only because they enjoyed it. If you didn’t, that’s fine. We never have to use this at all. But we won’t be doing anything with that tonight. In fact, I’ll put it away,” I said, as I tossed it into a drawer and closed it.

“Do you feel better now?”

“Yes, Kade,” she said, her eyes glistening in relief. “Thank you.”

“Now, you did break some rules today,” I said, mock growling as I came closer. “I do think you need a bit of punishment for it.”

“Please tell me how I broke the rules, Kade,” she asked honestly. There was such a desire to fulfill my needs in her voice and in her eyes, I couldn’t even pretend to be play angry any longer.

“At the mall, you were teasing me again,” I said with a smile. “The shorts?”