26
THE GIRLS’ GAME IS BEFORE OURS and the stands are packed. Because the girls are usually away when we are home and vice versa, this is one of the few times I’ll get to watch Erin play this year.
I sit with my teammates in the designated spot in the bleachers and when Erin comes out I see that she’s changed her jersey number to 18—my new number.
I get a little emotional as the girls warm up. I start to feel exactly what I try to avoid feeling during basketball season—in love—and I’m equal parts happy and annoyed.
Wes and Boy21 are reading the next Harry Potter book. Wes fiddles with the zipper of his hoodie. Boy21 wrinkles his brow and nods every so often like he agrees with whatever he’s reading. The rest of my teammates are listening to iPods or joking around. Coach Watts chaperones us.
There’s a small section of Irish who’ve come to root for Erin. They’re sitting with Pop and our parents and they’re all wearing green. One man has painted his face green, white, and orange like Ireland’s flag.
But most of the people in the gym tonight are black because Pennsville is pretty much an all-black high school.
Erin opens the game by hitting a deep three pointer, which makes the crowd erupt. She looks gorgeous out there on the court and every time she does something good my teammates punch my arm or rub my head.
Erin hits shot after shot, pulls rebounds, get steals, and carries her team to a twenty-point lead by halftime. Just before she walks into the locker room, she looks up into the stands, finds me, and smiles.
She’s so happy being out there on the basketball court doing what she was born to do—and I start to envy her, because I feel as though I might throw up.
I’m thinking about the triangle-and-two.
In the second half Erin blocks three shots, intercepts two passes, drives the lane several times for layups, comes off endless screens, sinks shot after shot, and secures the win easily. I’m happy for her, and I even smile back when she looks for me at the end of the game, but I still feel as though I might puke. Big-game jitters. This one could be for the conference.
As we stretch in the locker room, Boy21 seems calm. I think about how he’d be the perfect secret weapon tonight, and I want to tell him that it’s okay to play to the best of his ability if he gets in the game—not to worry about me—but for some reason, I don’t. Maybe I think he’s not ready, or maybe I think he is and I just don’t want to lose my starting position.
“Shoot your way out of the triangle-and-two early,” Terrell says to me. “We both know the team’s better when I’m the number one option on offense. Right, White Rabbit?”
“Right.”
I completely agree.
When they announce our squad, Terrell gets the biggest cheer by far, although I get a hearty roar from the Irish section. I see Pop parked in the handicap zone. He’s wearing a green, white, and orange scarf. Dad’s sitting next to him and a sweaty Erin is next to Dad even though she should be sitting with her teammates. I know that this is her way of being my girlfriend when I don’t allow her to be my girlfriend, which makes me feel good, but I remind myself not to think about Erin tonight.
We’re not dating during basketball season, remember?
Basketball is your girlfriend now.
The gym’s rocking.
The students are chanting, “Bell-mont! Bell-mont!”
In the pregame huddle, Coach says, “I don’t think I have to remind you that this is a play-off game. We only play this team twice, and we need to win both times if we want to take the division and set ourselves up nicely for the postseason. Good man defense. Call out switches. Quick transitions, and shoot the ball, Finley. We need you to shoot your way out of the triangle-and-two.”
I swallow hard.
“On three, team. One, two, three—”
“TEAM!”
And then I’m on the court.
Wes wins the jump easily, and—just like Coach had predicted—Pennsville leaves me unmarked, double-teams Terrell, and sets up a triangle zone.
I know I’m supposed to shoot the ball, but I try to force it into Wes, which results in a turnover.
“Shoot the ball, Finley!” Coach yells.
The next time down on offense, when they leave me wide open, Coach yells, “Shoot!”
I take a three pointer; it hits the front of the rim, and Pennsville gets the rebound.
I miss the next three shots.
We’re down eight to nothing.
This isn’t working.
I can’t hit a shot to save my life.
“Keep shooting,” Coach says. “Keep shooting, Finley!”
I try to get the ball to Hakim next, but I make another bad pass and suddenly I have two turnovers and four missed shots in a row.
I glance over at Pop and Dad and their eyes look small, their faces sheepish, like they’re embarrassed for me.
“Keep shooting!” Erin yells. “Keep shooting!”
The next time down Pennsville leaves me wide open, and I call time-out.
As I jog off the court, Coach says, “Who told you to call time-out, Finley? Who?”
I swallow.
Coach looks me in the eyes.
He sees I’m rattled.
He sees I’m scared.
He says, “Russ, report in for Finley.”
Russ doesn’t make a move. Coach Watts grabs his elbow and sort of gives him a push in the right direction. Boy21 looks at me, but I look away.
As Russ reports in at the scorer’s table, I become invisible—everyone is avoiding eye contact because they’re embarrassed for me.
Boy21 takes my place on the bench with the starters.
“Same exact game plan,” Coach says. “Russ—you’re the shooter now.”
“Coach,” Terrell says, “he can’t shoot. We’re already down eight.”
“You might be surprised,” Coach says. “Now execute the game plan.”
“Finley,” Boy21 says. Everyone looks at me. Everyone. “Do you want me to use my extraterrestrial powers to win this game?”
“What did he just say?” Terrell asks.
“Extra-what?” Sir says.
“Huh?” Hakim says.
“Russ!” Coach says. “Not now!”
“Finley,” Boy21 says a little more slowly. “Do you want me to use my extraterrestrial powers to win this ball game? Your call.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Terrell says. “We got a game to play!”
Boy21’s staring at me—communicating with his eyes—and I can tell that he doesn’t really want to do what he is about to do.
Part of me wants to see if he’s the real deal.
Part of me just wants to beat Pennsville.
Part of me knows that I should’ve been encouraging my friend to use his talents all along and that I’ve been selfish.
The buzzer sounds.
The time-out is over.
“Finley,” Boy21 says, “I need you to say it’s okay.”
Finally I say, “It’s okay.”
Somehow I know this means I won’t play again tonight.
“Okay, same game plan,” Coach says once more as I sit down on the other end of the bench and the rest of the team takes the court.
I feel ashamed being on the bench. Like I’m naked or something.
Everyone in the gym is watching the game, I know, but it feels like all eyes are on me. I begin to feel hot, anxious. I’ve never visualized being benched. This is not how things are supposed to be.
Sir inbounds the ball to Boy21 at half-court.
“Coach!” Boy21 shouts as he dribbles all alone, well behind NBA three-point range. “You won’t be mad at me if I use my extraterrestrial powers?”
My teammates on the bench are all whispering.
People in the stands are repeating Boy21’s words to one another.
Somehow I know—everything is about to change.
Coach yells, “Russell, just play ball like you can. Please!”
The Pennsville coach shoots a strange expression over to our bench.
And then it happens.
With no one on him, Boy21 pulls up for what amounts to a half-court jump shot.
As the ball arcs through the air, time slows down in my mind, like in a movie—I can see everything at once: the collective shock of my teammates, the expressions on the fans’ faces, the mocking smiles of the opposing team.
Russ pulled up for a half-court shot with no one on him!
People are outraged.
How could a no-name kid coming in off the bench take a half-court jumper?
The audacity!
Who does he think he is?
But then the ball goes in—swish—and the crowd goes wild.
Boy21’s face changes.
His eyes narrow.
His lips tighten.
His body loosens up.
He slaps the floor with his palms, gets into a low defensive stance, and waits for his man to reach him. When Pennsville’s point guard crosses half-court, Boy21 guards him tightly and then steals the ball with ease.
He dribbles four times and then takes off at the foul line, spreads his legs, and soars.
Hanging there in the air, he looks like the famous Michael Jordan silhouette.
The entire gym rises up in anticipation and Boy21 dunks the ball with resounding authority.
If we didn’t have breakaway rims, the backboard would have shattered into a million pieces.
My teammates on the bench are out of their seats, hooting, pumping fists in the air, hugging one another, going nuts.
JV Coach Watts has to pull a few of them off the court so we won’t get a technical foul, and Coach gives me a glance that says, Now do you understand what I was talking about?
Pennsville calls time-out and their coach yells over, “What the hell is this, Tim? Don’t think I’m not going to check his records. This is shady. Shady!”
“Damn, Russ!” Hakim says.
“You really do have magic powers,” Wes says. “I feel like I’m at Hogwarts.”
“We’re gon’ win this game,” Sir says.
Terrell gives me a look that says, You knew, didn’t you?
“All right,” Coach says. “Let’s concentrate on the game plan.”
No one says a word to me in the huddle and I sort of fade into the background.
When the game resumes, Boy21 dominates.
He hits three pointers.
He pulls rebounds.
Runs fast breaks.
Dunks the ball.
Blocks shots.
Accrues steals.
It’s like an NBA player decided to show up and play for our high-school team—that’s how good Boy21 is. He’s Andre Iguodala, playing against children. A man among boys. Players fall down like they have broken ankles when they try to guard Russ, because he’s too quick. Boy21 outruns, outshoots, outjumps, and outdribbles everyone on the court.
Soon we’re winning easily—but the second quarter ends with me still on the bench.
While Coach and Mr. Watts argue with the Pennsville coaches, who are demanding that the refs check Boy21’s eligibility—as if Coach is expected to pull out a file containing Boy21’s birth certificate and papers that document his entire life—the team goes into the locker room and peppers Boy21 with questions.
Why were you pretending that you couldn’t play?
How’d you learn to play like that?
What was that you said earlier about having extraterrestrial powers?
Where’d you come from?
What the hell is going on?
Boy21 sits on the locker-room bench listening to all of the questions with a very peaceful expression on his face.
If I didn’t know better, I might say he looks smug.
But I know better.
He has two choices: He can tell everyone about his parents being murdered and his spending so much time in a group home for teens diagnosed with post-traumatic stress, or he can tell them about outer space.
I know what he’ll choose before he even opens his mouth.
“I am called Boy21,” Russ finally says to the team. “I’m a prototype sent to your planet to collect data on what you Earthlings call emotions. I’m not human, as you can clearly see when I play basketball to the best of my ability.”
All jaws drop.
Silence.
Wes squints like he’s expecting me to put it all into context for him, but what would I say even if I were more of a talker?
“What the hell are you talkin’ ’bout, Russ? Stop playin’, yo!” Hakim says, and then everyone laughs nervously.
“You’re not for real?” Sir says, smiling now, as if what Boy21 said was all a joke. “You’re just messin’ with us, right, Russ?”
Boy21 shakes his head the way a father would at a little boy who doesn’t understand something elementary, something simple that all adults understand—like why lakes freeze in the winter, or where babies come from.
“He’s not playin’,” Terrell says, looking very serious. “He believes it. You can see it in his eyes. This fool’s crazy.”
Boy21 just continues to smile sort of sadly.
Before anyone can say more, Coach strides into the room and launches into an explanation of his game plan for the second half now that Pennsville’s out of the triangle-and-two and will be focusing more on Russ.
It’s hard for me to listen to Coach talk about basketball.
I think about the newspaper photographers and reporters I saw standing at the end of the court—all the many classmates and neighborhood people who’ll now be focusing their attention on the new basketball god in town. It won’t be long before the word spreads and college scouts start coming—maybe even NBA scouts.
This might all sound overly dramatic on my part, but everyone in the room is thinking the same thing on some level after seeing what Boy21 can do.
We’re going to win the state championship, and that’s what matters most—not the fact that Boy21 is claiming to be from outer space.
While Coach talks, the smile on Boy21’s face grows more and more strange, but he doesn’t really seem to be paying attention to Coach, or to any of us—he’s off in his own little world.
When we burst from the locker room and begin our halftime warm-up, I spot Erin staring at me with a very concerned expression on her face. I don’t look up at Pop and Dad. I figure Coach will work me back into the game at some point, but I’m starting to feel pretty humiliated and pathetic sitting here on the bench, especially after all the work I did this past season and what I did to help Boy21 after Coach asked me to do just that.
But Coach doesn’t work me back into the game.
Pennsville focuses on containing Boy21 in the second half, which allows Sir, Hakim, Wes, and Terrell to score a lot of points.
We maintain a ten-point lead throughout, but Coach doesn’t risk subbing in any of the bench—not even when Pennsville calls time-out with only a minute to go.
By the end of the game the finality of my position hits me and my eyes begin to burn. I feel as though I might start crying. As lame as it sounds.
My relegation hurts.
I love basketball more than anything.
I worked harder than anyone on the team.
I spent all that time with Boy21, just like Coach asked me to do.
And yet I rode the bench through one of the most important games of the year.
When we win and it’s time to shake hands, the few reporters in the building rush Boy21 and ask him questions about who he is and where he came from.
“Call me Boy21,” he tells them, and then he points to the ceiling. “I’m from outer space.”
Coach is arguing with the Pennsville coach, who shouts, “The kid couldn’t have just dropped from the sky! Why didn’t anyone know about this Washington if he’s a legit part of your squad? What did you have to hide? I’m protesting this game! This is bullshit!”
The students and parents have rushed onto the floor and my teammates are celebrating like we’ve already won the state championship.
Boy21 is talking about the cosmos with a handful of very confused reporters.
My teammates are high-fiving everyone, yelling taunts, rapping, and even dancing. Parents and students are on the court. It’s like a deliriously happy mob has formed, almost like it’s New Year’s Day or something. I should be celebrating too, but I can’t.
I feel like I might freak out.
I’m not supposed to leave, but I slip out the back door and start running laps on the crappy track.
It’s cold out, especially since I’m only wearing my basketball uniform, and suddenly I’m sprinting, although I’m not sure why.
I’m never going to get any significant minutes at point guard now that Boy21 has emerged as the best damn player in the universe—and I worked so hard. I can’t imagine facing Pop and Dad later, having to tell them that I tried my best, but I’m no longer a starter. And I also know that things with Boy21 and me are going to change as well. No more being left alone, and how can I be his friend when all’s I want to do is beat him out for the point-guard position? It’s not fair.
And so I run harder, trying to stop thinking, turn off my mind, get the endorphins flowing, the heart pounding, and work off what I couldn’t while sitting on the bench.
“Finley—wait up!” Erin sprints to catch up with me. “You need to go back inside or Coach will suspend you for leaving before the team talk.”
“I can’t talk to you,” I say. “It’s basketball season. We broke up.”
“Go back inside before Coach realizes you left.”
“Didn’t you see how good he is?”
“I did.”
“Then why should I go back inside?”
“Because you worked hard. We worked hard. You owe it to me. Coach benched you because you stopped shooting, not because Boy21 is better than you. If you would’ve kept shooting in the first quarter when he told you to shoot, he would’ve worked you back into the game. But you didn’t execute the game plan, Finley. He was disciplining you. And now you’re acting like a baby, running out here all alone in the dark, freezing-cold night.”
Erin says all this while sprinting next to me, and for some reason her words make me pick up the pace until she stops running.
I sprint a lap without her.
She’s right.
I was being disciplined, and I deserved it.
I am acting like a baby.
The sprinting relaxes me.
I want to tell Erin that she was amazing out there on the court tonight, but I’m still upset, so when I reach her I just nod once and pant out warm silver clouds into the cold night.
Erin is shivering and I fight the urge to put an arm around her.
“Get your butt inside!” Erin smiles at me sort of funny. “Hurry!”
I want to touch her. A roof night with Erin would feel fantastic right about now. My toes and fingers start to tingle. I’m glad when she lets me off the hook by raising her hand. I give her a high five and then run back inside, where the team is finally filing into the locker room.
Again, Boy21 sits with what could be mistaken for a very smug look on his face, but no one is asking any questions this time.
When Coach arrives he starts talking about what worked in the game and what we need to improve, just like he always does. He doesn’t say a word about Boy21.
Coach talks some more about what we will be focusing on tomorrow in practice, and then he tells us that he’s proud of the way we played as a team tonight, which is a little ironic because I only played a minute or so and the other twelve nonstarters in the room who don’t think they are from outer space didn’t get into the game.
When the talk is over we put our hands in the middle and yell “Team!”
As we disperse, Coach Watts stands between Boy21 and the rest of the squad, almost like he doesn’t want anyone to speak to Russ.
Coach Wilkins asks me to meet him in his office, and when he shuts the door behind him he says, “Russ is the new point guard, so if you want to get into the game, you had better shoot the ball when you’re open. Understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
“You didn’t execute the game plan, Finley. I had to bench you. Would’ve done the same thing to any other player.”
I believe that.
“You have anything to say?” Coach asks.
I think about it, and then say, “I think he’s pretending.”
“Come again?”
“Russ. He’s just talking about outer space to keep people at arm’s length.”
“I know.”
“He doesn’t want to play basketball.”
“If he didn’t want to play, I don’t think he would have put on such a show tonight,” Coach says.
“I have a bad feeling about this, Coach.”
“We do the best we can, Finley. We can’t change what happened to the boy’s parents, but we can give him an opportunity to do what he’s best at. He needs to play basketball—just like you do. Trust me.”
Coach has to believe he’s doing the right thing because he doesn’t know what else to do. I once heard someone say that everything looks like a nail to the man with a hammer in his hand. I thought it was just a corny cliché when I first heard that expression, but I think it actually applies to Coach right about now, which makes me sort of sad.
I want to play basketball and win the state championship.
I want to be the starting point guard.
I also feel like I should be helping Boy21, and I’m not sure Coach is right about Russ needing to play b-ball.
But I’m not the coach, and so I say, “I’ll shoot the ball when I’m told to shoot the ball from now on.”
“Good,” he says. “See you tomorrow at practice.”
27
DAD LEFT JUST AS SOON AS the game ended. He had to get to work on time.
Because I want to be alone, I tell Pop that I’m going out for hot wings with the team.
Erin’s parents take the old man home and I walk through the gray, dirty, trash-everywhere streets of Bellmont.
Almost all the streetlights have been smashed with rocks, so it’s dark.
It’s frigid out and I’m still in my shorts, with a winter coat on top. As I walk, I’m surprised that I’m not thinking about the game or losing my starting position.
I’m thinking about Boy21, and how bad he must be hurting.
People just don’t go around saying they’re from outer space for nothing.
The deep bass of an expensive car-stereo system approaches from behind. I turn my head, but all I see are two bright headlights. Somehow I know the car’s going to stop, and it does just as it reaches me. The music turns off and I hear, “Yo, White Rabbit, get in.”
It’s Terrell’s voice.
I walk to the passenger-side window. He’s riding with his brother Mike. Both of them are wearing gold chains and huge diamond earrings.
“Don’t just stand there lookin’ at us,” Mike yells from the driver’s seat. “Get your lily ass in the car before you freeze it off in those ball trunks. Your knees look like snowballs!”
I open the back door and hop in, but Mike doesn’t drive.
“You knew about this outer-space shit from the beginning, didn’t you?” Terrell asks.
I don’t see the point of lying, so I nod.
Terrell has turned his body so that he’s facing me, but Mike’s looking at me through dark sunglasses in the rearview mirror. It’s after ten and he’s wearing sunglasses. I smell some sort of sweet smoke in the air and then see that Mike is puffing on a joint. I want to get out of the car, but I know I can’t.
“How crazy is he?” Terrell says.
“I don’t know.”
“Crazy like he might come to school with a gun and start shooting people, or crazy like he just says amusing things about outer space?” Terrell says.
“The latter, I think,” I say.
“What you mean the ladder?” Mike says. “You gon’ climb a damn tree or somethin’?”
“So he’s just all talk?” Terrell says.
“I don’t really know.”
“Coach ask you to help him, right?” Mike says.
“Yep.”
“So you go and be his friend even though he gon’ end up takin’ your position?” Mike says.
“Right.”
“That’s White Rabbit for you,” Terrell says.
“You good people,” Mike says, and then he takes a drag off his joint. “I like you, White Rabbit. You got what the old people call character.”
“Russ is crazy as a mofo, but he makes us a better team,” Terrell says.
“I’m’a drive you home,” Mike says. “You all right.”
I don’t want to let Mike drive me home because he’s high, but there’s nothing I can do about it, so I just sit quietly in the backseat. When one of the most feared drug dealers in the neighborhood wants to drive you home, you let him drive you home. I know he’s strapped. There are probably several guns in the car, and who knows what’s in the trunk.
We pull up to my house, and just before I get out, Mike says, “You need any paper, White Rabbit?”
“Money,” Terrell says when I don’t answer.
I shake my head no.
“Let us know if your family ever needs paper,” Mike says. “You can always work for us. We like to employ people with character.”
I nod once, even though I never want to be a drug runner, and then get out as fast as I can.
When Mike and Terrell drive away I go inside and find my grandfather drinking a beer.
My dad’s already at work, so it’ll be just Pop and me tonight.
“You feel like shit, don’t you?” Pop says.
“Yeah.”
“Well, you shouldn’t. Your father’s always telling you that you can outwork talent, but I got a news flash for you, Finley. You could work as hard as you humanly can for the rest of your life and you’ll never be as good as what we saw tonight.” He takes a swill from his bottle and says, “I fancy a bath. You game?”
I nod and push Pop into the bathroom, where I strip the old man and lift him into the tub.
As I hold the detachable showerhead for Pop, he washes his hair, and I watch the suds run down his neck and over Grandmom’s green rosary beads. Pop won’t even take them off to bathe. When he finishes, he tells me to turn off the water and when I do he says, “Coach will work you into the games. Don’t worry. It’ll work out.”
I’m wondering what Boy21 is thinking right now. Did he enjoy playing tonight? Did it make him feel better? Does basketball help him the way it helps me? And, if so, does he need the starting position more than I do?
“I love watching you play ball, Finley. Best part of my days lately—makes me feel like I still have legs, even—but life’s more than games. This Russ, he’s special. Anyone can see that. And it’s hard to be special, Finley. You understand what I’m saying?”
I don’t understand what Pop is saying, but I nod anyway.
“You’re special too, Finley. You don’t always get to pick the role you’re going to play in life, but it’s good to play whatever role you got the best way you can,” Pop says. “And I know I’m a damn hypocrite for saying that tonight, but that don’t make what I said a lie. We’ve both had hard lives so far. No favors done for either of us.”
I can’t think of anything to say, especially since I’m not special at all, so I just get Pop out of the tub and into bed.
I lie awake all night thinking about what has happened and what it all means.