Seventeen
JEAN HAD BEEN THINKING about winter. Not winter in Wyoming, but in a casita in Santa Fe or Albuquerque. Maybe Tucson. Red tiled roof, doors and shutters painted the color of blue ink. Walled patio. An arbor of thatched ocotillo, borders of cholla and yucca. She was staring out at her garden, thinking what a relief it would be to live in a place where she wouldn’t be tempted to grow a single goddamn vegetable. Drought-resistant, is what she’s after. She’d started a new life once in Florida and just let that yard go to a weedy sandlot. She’d liked it there.
Last night she Googled the exact times of the mid-December dawns and dusks in each city, and at the very least she was going to gain forty-plus minutes of daylight. Almost fifty-five in Tucson. It was easier to start over in warm weather. A piece of cake to get up and get on with your life when you don’t have to plug your car in so the engine block won’t freeze.
Her friend Sally once said living through a Wyoming winter was evidence of low self-esteem. Thanksgiving, she thought, would be a good time to leave.
She tore the foil back on the Marlboro Lights, tapping the pack against her wrist while watching Griff drive in and park.
She held the water bottle up in the light and shook it hard, the ice rattling against the dark plastic sides. It was one of those new bottles with a soft plastic nipple you could bite into to suck the liquid up, so you could drink and drive without having to tip your head back. She’d filled this one with Smirnoff.
“Hey,” the girl said. She set a small wooden box on the table, House of Windsor in red lettering on top.
“Hey yourself. Can I have one of your cigars?”
“There’s just pictures inside.”
Jean was thinking of Crane at breakfast this morning. How he’d stared at her, the sadness in his face so palpable it had made her want to scream. “You still ride around with your stepdaddy in his copmobile?”
“Not for awhile.”
“But you’re fine with each other?”
“Sure.” She preferred her mother like this. Sweetly buzzed. “That’s not the kind of plastic bottle that gives you cancer, is it?”
“No, it’s the safe kind.” Jean shook the ice again. “I checked.”
“I might make a drink myself.”
“There’s orange juice inside if you want a mixer.” She blew a plume of smoke toward the kitchen door.
When Griff came back out her mother had opened the cigar box and taken out the wedding picture of herself and Griffin.
“Isn’t this a peach?” She tossed the picture down on the table. “God, I didn’t know shit then, except that your dad was a catch.”
“Can I leave this stuff over here?”
Jean slumped back in her chair. “Worst mistake I ever made in my life was letting you stay out there with that old man after Crane and I got married.” The sweet buzz was souring. “I know damn well it’s why you gave up on me. Us not living together.”
“Einar burned a bunch of stuff.” There were kids in the yard next door running through a sprinkler, laughing. “Some of it was mine.”
“No shit.” The good mood returned. “What you ought to do is move out now. You get stuck there after he turns into a total nutcase, it’ll look worse. If you leave then, I mean.”
Griff stirred her drink with a finger and Jean straightened her legs, pulling her summer dress up mid-thigh.
“At least I’ve still got good calves.” She looked up smiling, boxing her hands in front of her face like she was holding a camera, making a clicking sound. “Wyoming snapshot. Mother and daughter getting hammered in the middle of the day. It doesn’t get any better than that.”
“Einar’s sister came out from Chicago.”
“Marin?”
“Yes.”
Jean reached over to pat her daughter’s hand. “I think it’s wonderful you’re taking in new patients for your nursing home, dear. Makes me proud, being a dropout nurse’s assistant myself.”
“I didn’t know you quit.”
“It’s the shit and piss they don’t tell you about when you sign up. Bodily fluids. That’s what it comes down to.” She sucked from her bottle.
“She came out to help with Einar.”
“The prodigal lesbian leading the blind.” Jean stubbed the cigarette out, using the butt to rake the ash up against the sides. “I’m thinking of moving. Maybe the southwest this time.”
“You and Crane?”
“I’m afraid your step-buddy has been out screwing another pooch.”
Griff was staring at the caragana at the border of the yard, grown up thick with yellow blossoms. “I don’t think he’s the type.” She was trying to count the times she’d moved with her mother. She could remember the house in Florida. The one in Iowa.
“Well, he sure as hell ain’t f*cking me.”
A magpie dove at the bird feeder and a vireo hit the screen, bouncing to the ground.
Griff stood up to watch the little olive-gray bird right itself, shaking its head. “Do you have a cat?”
“We’re out of cats.” Jean leaned forward with her elbows on the table. “Is this too much information for you all at once?”
“I just think you’re wrong.”
“Oh, God, it’s you, isn’t it?”
“Not funny, Mother.”
Jean sat up straighter. “What if he’s f*cking somebody older than me? Wouldn’t that suck shit?”
The stunned bird took a step, falling onto its side again.
“Can I ask you something?”
“As long as it doesn’t have anything to do with what’s wrong with me.”
“Do you think my work’s any good?”
“You mean your skeleton thingies?”
“Yes.”
Jean stared at the raw wood in the ceiling, considering. “Well, they’re a lot more interesting than gnomes, or jockeys, or Greek goddesses. Did I tell you I saw a five-foot-high angel at the tree farm in Sheridan?”
“Lawn ornaments?”
“Which one am I supposed to be?”
“I don’t have anyone in particular in mind when I make them.”
“You know I don’t know how to talk about art.” She leaned forward, staring down again at her wedding photograph. “But I do know what this is.” She was tapping a finger on the table. “What you’ve got right there is a picture of the last time your mother was feeling lucky.”