Betrayed

53





October 14, 2008

Hell’s gate has burst wide open. I don’t know if my scribble can articulate the week’s events in as colorful a prose as it played out. My worst fears have been realized, but I feel that I may be responsible.

I don’t even know where to begin. My mind is knotted up in so many places that even as I write, my thinking isn’t clear. The one thing I can safely jot down is that my daughter, Afrika, will be all right, although we’re not sure if her paralysis is temporary or permanent.

My loving and adoring husband came home from Germany to be with me during Afrika’s illness. I believe Iraq and Afghanistan have twisted his mind. While Raphael will stop at nothing to take care of his family and keep us safe, his irrational behavior has been upsetting. He’s like a lie detector analyzing pulses scoring those things in the negative that are questionable to him because they don’t sit right in his mind’s eye.

Poor John was dissected from head to toe when he came to visit Afrika at the hospital. Instead of Raf taking John’s visit as it was, Raf acted as if I was trying to hide something from him…that I might have been attempting to renew a relationship with John.

Let me hold that thought a moment and think about what I just wrote. I may be the one writing more into this and may be blaming my husband falsely. Because truth be told, I was probably using John as a crutch, and yes, it was good to have someone near to help me go through this ordeal with Victor, even if he was an old flame that stirred up some emotions and caused an inner turmoil. But if the tables were turned, I don’t think I’d be too receptive of an old flame of Raphael’s coming into my daughter’s hospital room.

Confusion, that’s what this is. This Victor crap…this secret that has been so destructive. I can’t believe I went and blurted it out to Brenda. I didn’t do it to hurt her; she had to know because Victor has been ruthless in his efforts to get rid of Afrika and me. My baby was almost killed, but by the grace of God, she’s still alive. But all of these events have made one confession after another burst at the seams. Lord, I didn’t want Raphael to find out that he wasn’t Afrika’s biological father the way he did. Of course, if I could have kept the secret forever, I would have taken it to my grave.

I guess Brenda owed me…blurted the truth for all of God’s children to hear, crashing down on the ears of the innocent who are now broken and hurt. Damn. Now Raf hates me, hates Victor and what my deception has caused him, although he hasn’t come out and said it to my face. Instead he’s acting out because his heart has been bruised, betrayed. But I know that man still loves me because he wouldn’t have taken my car and went looking for Victor half-cocked. He’s a warrior, Army All You Can Be, a take-no-prisoners kind of man. And I believe Victor would have been a dead man if Raf had found him.

However, the truth is Victor snared him first. I have to give it to Victor. His survival skills almost measure up to Raf’s. But I hope the police find that sorry-ass gutless wonder soon and get him off the street so he can’t cause any more pain. He could have killed my husband tonight.

Thank God Raf got away from Victor. I had to call on faithful John to help me get my husband out of harm’s way. I love them both—John, who will always be dear to my heart because he was the first man that I thought that I could absolutely marry, and Raphael, the man I love unconditionally and will go the ends of the earth for…my absolute soul mate.

I’m going to close now. I think I hear Raf moving around upstairs. It’s eight-thirty in the morning. I couldn’t sleep. I’ve been up since six, pondering the mess that I’m in. Didn’t even go back to the hospital last night because we were a mess after picking up Raf from that woman’s house in the middle of nowhere. God help me; help us.

Mimi Bailey


Hearing footsteps on the stairs, Mimi rushed from the chair she was sitting in and threw the journal in the drawer. She went to the stove and picked up the black tea kettle that matched the other appliances in the kitchen just as Raphael entered.

“Want some coffee?” Mimi asked in a sweet, soft voice.

Raphael paused and roamed the length of her as she stood in her soft pink thick cotton robe that covered a thin, white cotton gown and Mimi’s best assets. “Instant coffee; I’d love some. I see you weren’t able to sleep this morning.”

“No,” Mimi said in a slow breath. “I’m…I’m so overwhelmed with all that has happened in the last few days.”

Raphael took a seat at the black marble table. He waited while Mimi placed the coffee crystals in the cup, add the hot water, stirred it, and brought it to him. He gently clutched her hand as she put the coffee down. “Why don’t you sit down so we can talk about it?”

Mimi swallowed, not wanting Raf to see her anxiety…her fear. Yes, all that led up to Afrika’s brush with death was now out in the open. What more was there to discuss? But she knew this moment would come, but she hadn’t wished it to come so soon. She had yet to explain to Raphael that she was pregnant with Afrika when she met him, but how would she be able to explain that she didn’t pawn her baby off on him? Was it love at first sight, probably not, but it was close because she felt something the moment she laid eyes on him. And yes, she saw an opportunity in Raphael Bailey to legitimize her unborn child.

Grabbing her own cup, Mimi fixed a cup of coffee and sat opposite Raf. She looked into his brown eyes for a hint of hatred, animosity, but seeing none, she dropped her eyes. She looked up again when he called her name.

“Mimi, thanks for saving my ass last night.”

“You’re my husband. I would do anything for you.”

Raphael looked away and then back at Mimi. He reached over and put a hand over one of hers. “You may not believe this, but I fell for you the first time I saw you. I said to myself, now that’s a Black princess. You seemed different from the other girls…not fast…not slow, and you weren’t wearing your top down to your navel. But maybe I understand it all now…now that I know that you were with child.

“But having said all of that, the odd thing was that you slept with me on that first day I met you…without protection. Was it all an elaborate scheme to punish…I’m sorry, to find a father for your child?”

Mimi pulled her hand back and stared at Raphael. His words cut deep and hurt more than she could have imagined. However his words brought the truth to the light, although she would never in her wildest dreams utter them out loud. But Mimi had also felt something for Raf. He was kind and gentle, not just a gorgeous face along with a jaw-dropping body who could articulate words that beckoned her to lay her mother’s teaching aside and crawl into bed with the first man who barked. She and Raf had talked most of the afternoon, and she learned that he was a college student who had plans for his life, that he wasn’t going to waste it in the streets, he was going to be an officer in the Army and lead soldiers to battle and beyond. Those were the things he had shared with her that afternoon, and Mimi knew this was a man she could love. And so the decision was easily made when Raphael asked her to go to his room.

Mimi took a sip, put her coffee cup on the table and sighed. “It tears at my heart that we’re at this crossroad.” Mimi slid her hand over Raf’s and squeezed it. “You are my life, and I love you with all of my heart. You are my man and I’m your girl, and that will never change.

“Although I’m guilty of entrapment or presenting myself falsely, I can truthfully say that I was smitten the first time I saw you. It wasn’t that you were the finest brother on that campus and you gave me your eye, you represented yourself well. I don’t know if you remember what we talked about that afternoon; I do. You spoke of how you were going to be a leader of men—that you were joining the ranks of the Army and you were going to be somebody. That turned me on, Raphael. And while my conscious decision to make love to you that same day may have bordered on deceit, by nightfall, I realized that I wanted you. Yes, I wanted you. You had demonstrated to me how a woman should be treated, even in the throes of lust. I’m sure you just didn’t fall in love with me all of a sudden.

“I thought about you night and day, and the more time we spent together, I knew you were the one for me. I’m sure you’re saying that I had run out of time and I had begun to show. Maybe that was part of it, but the truth is I had fallen in love with you. Yes, my baby had a father when you asked me to marry you and I agreed, but even to this day, you are Afrika’s only father. Victor’s name was forever erased from my mind…that is, until Afrika insisted on going to college at NCCU.”

“Why didn’t you tell me, Mimi? Don’t you think I would have understood?”

“I wasn’t taking any chances, Raf. After being with you those few months, I couldn’t believe that God had sent me a good man. You don’t understand the terrifying experience I endured with Victor. It was traumatic. I was violated. I didn’t feel safe with anyone until I met you.”

“What about John? He was the man of your dreams. You couldn’t wait to look him up once you got here.”

“That’s not fair, Raf. Like we told you, I ran into John when I was out jogging. I haven’t seen or talked to John in over nineteen years. I’m sure that you won’t believe this, but John and I never had sex.”

Raphael cleared his throat. “You’re right, I don’t believe you; especially since I’ve caught him looking at your booty on a couple of occasions.”

“Raf, all men look at my booty. Didn’t you?”

“But you gave me yours.”

“But I didn’t give John any…ever.”

John tapped the coffee cup on the table.

“Don’t scratch my table, man. You’ll have to cough up fifteen hundred dollars to replace that marble.”

“Fifteen what? For this table, Mimi?”

“Yes, because my husband deserves a fine place to sit and talk to his wife.”

“Even if she’s betrayed him?”

“Raphael, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you and…”

Brrng, brrng, brrng. Mimi reached for her BlackBerry. She looked at Raphael. “It’s Brenda.”

Mimi pressed the TALK button and said hello as Raphael took another sip of coffee and looked on. “What?”

Raphael put his cup down and cocked his head and waited for Mimi to say something else.

“Victor…Victor is dead?” Raphael’s eyes became wide with fear while Mimi jumped up from the table, almost knocking over her cup of coffee. Her free hand grabbed the side of her head and then covered her mouth for only a second. “Oh my God. How? Are you all right? Hold on, Brenda; let me tell Raphael.”

Mimi placed her hand over the speaker and turned to Raf, who was now standing next to her. “Did you hear that? Victor is dead… he was murdered. It happened last night or early this morning.”

“I heard. Did Brenda say how and where it happened? Jesus, I was with him last night. Your car, Mimi.”

“Oh my God. Let me get Brenda off the line. Turn on the TV to see what they’re saying about it on the news.”

“Okay.”

Mimi uncovered the speaker. “Brenda, Raf and I are both so sorry. If there’s anything we can do, please let us know.”

“Mimi, I need you. I don’t want to be alone.”

Mimi looked at the phone and across the table at Raphael. “Sure, Brenda. Let me put some clothes on and I’ll come right over.”

“Hurry,” Brenda said and hung up the phone.

Mimi ended the call and looked at Raf. “Jesus. Brenda wants me to come over. I’m not sure that I’m up to that, Raf. I’ve never even been to her house, and now that Victor is dead, I certainly have qualms about going there. It would be like walking in the valley of the shadow of death.”

“What do you mean, Mimi?”

“It would be like walking into Victor’s inner sanctum—the place where he came at the end of the day to rest his sorry ass. You said Victor was alive when you got away.”

“I told you, I knocked the gun out of his hand, kicked him, and pushed him to the ground. After that, I took off running, Mimi, and that fool was very much alive. When I darted between Shirley’s house and the neighbor’s, I could hear someone running behind me—like they were following me. It may not have been Victor at all, but who else could it have been? All I know is he was not dead and he has your gun.”

“We’ve got to remain calm, Raf. Who else do you think would have killed him?”

“You knew him; I didn’t.” Raphael turned to the small flat-screen that was mounted on the wall between two sets of oak cabinets. “Quiet, the local news is on. Let’s see if they say anything about Victor.”

“Around ten-thirty last evening, the body of Victor Christianson, Director of Admissions at North Carolina Central University, was found dead near a set of railroad tracks in Durham by a couple coming from a late-night worship service. Upon receiving a tip, Victor Christianson became a person of interest in the shooting of one of NCCU’s cheerleaders, Afrika Bailey, that occurred after a football game last Saturday. Mr. Christianson failed to report to work this week, giving further cause for the police to suspect that he may have been linked to the shooting of Miss Bailey.

Raphael turned the volume down and turned to Mimi. “Do you want me to go with you to Brenda’s?”

“No, baby. Let me go alone. I’ll drop you at the hospital to check on Afrika before I go. Brenda needs a sister-girlfriend to talk to.”