30
It felt good stumping on the grounds of her alma mater. As she and Trevor walked to the football field, Brenda closed her eyes for a moment, remembering a time many years ago when she and Mimi had attended their first football game. She could hear the band playing some jazzy tune that made them sway with the beat and Mimi making up her own lyrics to the song. It was the first time she had heard one of the cute guys she had been admiring ask another who she was, pointing his finger directly at her like she was a prize he’d just won. It was Victor; and she had fallen hard.
Brenda followed Trevor to the stands. The game was already underway, and Central had seven points on the scoreboard. Before she could sit down, Central scored another touchdown, and the fans were up on their feet screaming. The cheerleaders engaged the crowd, chanting loud and stomping their feet, while their bodies twisted and gyrated with the beat of their words. Then Brenda spotted them—Asia and Afrika, her eyes lingering on Afrika much longer, trying to make sense of the news Mimi had dropped in her lap—the news that pierced her heart like she’d been hit with a stun gun. She wondered how many of Victor’s features Afrika had. Thank God she was too far away to get a good look.
Brenda and Trevor found seats and stood until the crowd died down. Brenda continued to watch the girls, consumed with their every movement, processing similarities—how they jerked their heads, tossed their hair, and stomped their feet. Even though there were thirteen other girls on the field, Asia and Afrika seemed to do everything in tandem, almost as if Brenda saw them in double vision.
An onset of nausea seemed to rise from nowhere, and the longer Brenda watched the girls, the more nauseated she became. She was oblivious of the Eagle’s quarterback who was poised to throw another touchdown pass. All Brenda saw was Asia and Afrika moving in rhythm. While the images of their faces weren’t clear, Brenda imagined they looked the same—identical; one light, the other dark.
Brenda needed to distance herself from the crowd. The loud noise made her dizzy and she was having a hard time controlling the emotions that had overtaken her body each time she looked at Afrika. Mimi’s revelation affected her more than she realized, clouding her mind also with images of Victor and Mimi together, although the vision wasn’t quite as Mimi had described.
Ugh, ugh. Mimi doubled over, holding her neck as she vomited.
“Damn!” a spectator shouted.
“Mom, are you all right?” Trevor asked, standing up to offer assistance.
“Ah, ah, ah,” was all that came from Brenda’s mouth as she tried to catch her breath.
“Hey, Trev, this your Mom?” a young man asked, gesturing at Trevor.
“Yeah, man; help me get her out of the bleachers. I’m going to take her home.”
“No,” Brenda managed to say. “You stay and enjoy the game. I’ll come back for you. I’ll be all right. It must have been something I ate.”
“Are you sure, Mom?”
“I’ll take you home,” the young man said. “I’m borrowing my brother’s car.”
“Mom, this is my friend from school, Freddie, that I was telling you about.”
“Nice to meet you, Freddie. I hope next time it will be under better circumstances.”
“No problem. Are you okay, for real?”
“Yeah, I’m all right now. You guys enjoy the game.”
“Will you guys sit down or move out of the way so we can see the game?” a rude spectator said.
“We will when my mother is all right!” Trevor hollered back.
Brenda threw Trevor two fingers to let him know she was okay and that she was on her way home.
“Call me if you need me!” Trevor shouted to Brenda.
Brenda shook her head and walked away, not bothering to look at the cheerleaders one last time.
Brenda jumped in the rental car and drove away from the stadium, her mind still conflicted. She let the car window roll down automatically; maybe the small breeze would chase her blues away. Brenda drove in silence, oblivious of the road she travelled. God had to be steering the wheel because she wasn’t sure how she made it home in one piece.
After pulling into the garage, Brenda sat in silence, contemplating her next step. Life was complicated enough without having been thrown a Molotov cocktail. She willed the voices in her head to be still—the voices advocating do unto the one who has done to you before they do it again.
“Devil, you a lie and the truth ain’t in you. Get thee behind me, Satan,” Brenda uttered.
Brenda scrambled out of the car and walked into the kitchen. Beyonce, in her catlike stealthy way, entered the room and offered a welcome home. Brenda dropped her keys on the kitchen counter and started for her bedroom but froze when Victor entered the room.
“The game couldn’t have been rained out since we haven’t had any in weeks. What are you doing back so early? And where is Trevor?”
“I don’t feel good. Shouldn’t have gone in the first place. Trevor is still at the game.”
“You don’t listen. Pretending like the accident didn’t do you any harm, even though your car is a mangled mess.”
“I was blessed to come out of that accident unscathed, and I don’t hurt from the accident.”
“So what’s wrong with you? You’ve been in a funky mood much too much lately.”
“Move, I’m going to the room to lay down.”
“You want me to come with you? Now that we have the house to ourselves, maybe you want to freak with the brother.”
“Why would I want to freak with you, Victor?” Brenda said as she left the kitchen heading for the stairs with Victor on her heels.
“Because you’re my wife and that’s what you signed up for when you said ‘I do.’ I wouldn’t have to go behind these hos in the street if you’d stop holding out. A brother has needs.”
Brenda stopped and turned around. “You’re disgusting. I don’t care if you’re my husband; I’m not going to lay behind a ho. There was a time, Victor, that I was truly in love with you…would have gone to the end of the earth for you, but you’ve breached the contract we made before God and man one time too many. Should’ve left you a long time ago. It’s a miracle I don’t have some dreaded disease.”
“Don’t even think about leaving because you ain’t going nowhere. We are a family that stays together.”
“At what cost?” Brenda walked into their master bedroom and threw her purse down on the bed. She turned around and stared at Victor. A scowl had replaced the frown that lingered since entering the house. “Victor, I want a divorce.”
“Girl, you’re talking crazy. So I was out last night. No harm done. Didn’t feel like hearing you talk about not being able to see Mimi.”
“And why is it you don’t want me to see Mimi? And I want the truth…the nineteen-year-old truth.”
Victor’s eyes widened. “What in the hell are you talking about, Brenda? What do you mean by a nineteen-year-old truth?”
“You shouldn’t have to think about it; you know what I mean. Don’t look at me like you have amnesia.”
“I’m going to ask you one more time, Brenda. What are you talking about?”
“You sorry-ass bastard. You raped my best friend.”
Victor rushed for Brenda and grabbed her shoulders. “Who told you that lie? Mimi?”
Tears began to well up in Brenda’s eyes. “Take your dirty hands off of me, Victor. You aren’t anything but the scum of the earth. Mimi warned me about you. She saw right through you…the kind of person you really were. I made you, Victor. You would be nothing without me. My daddy helped you to get that job. Nobody wanted your ass…nobody but me because you were a loser. And I was a fool, but I won’t be a fool much longer.”
“Go on and get it out of your system. Maybe I had it coming… not because of Mimi, but because I haven’t been the best husband…”
“You arrogant son-of-a-bitch. All the time I thought you were the one for me…the person who dotted my I’s and crossed my T’s. I wanted to believe in you, Victor; I saw something no one else saw. Yeah, we made some fine babies together, climbed the social ladder, but you couldn’t leave those hoes alone. Mr. Victor Christianson had made it to the top and thought that nothing could touch him.”
“Shut up, Brenda. Mimi had no right to tell you.”
“Do you know what else she told me?”
“It’s a lie, whatever it is.”
“It’s not a lie. Afrika and Asia look so much alike. I have to shake my head now that I recall how you acted when you first saw Afrika at the house. Scared the daylights out of you, didn’t she? You thought you’d gotten away with it?”
“I’m not that child’s father. Mimi can say what she wants.”
“No one had to tell you that Afrika is your child. You did the dirty deed, and now your sins have come to light.”
“Mimi has succeeded in twisting your brain.”
“Is that why you’re fighting like a dog in a cock fight? Afrika isn’t some banshee that you want to go away. She’s alive and in living color and looks a lot like you.”
“Somebody is going to pay for this.”
“Who, Victor? Who are you trying to blame for your misguided deeds this time? As hard as I tried not to believe the words that tumbled out of Mimi’s mouth, I realized that they were true. Rumor is, you’ve got other babies running around the county looking like you. Get out of my face, Victor. I’ve thrown up enough for today.”
Victor turned away and grabbed his coat off the chair. There was a loud thud, followed by a boom, causing both Brenda and Victor to freeze and then look at each other.
Startled, Brenda walked in the direction of the noise. Lying next to Victor’s foot on the hardwood floor was a steel-barreled gun. Victor picked it up and looked into the nose.
“A gun, Victor? You brought a loaded gun into this house…our bedroom? What were you planning to do with it? Kill me?”
“Brenda, please be quiet. No one is going to kill anybody.”
“Maybe you didn’t hear the bang.” Brenda looked around the room, stopped, put her hand over her mouth, and began to point. “There’s a hole in the wall. And you’re going to stand there and tell me that the safety was on the gun and that it accidently came undone.”
“Believe what you want. I got the gun for protection.”
“Protection from whom? Yourself, Victor? You must think I’m stupid, but I’ve got your number. My God, what is going on here?”
“Look, I’ve got to go out.”
“Where are you going, Victor? I hope to God you’re not going to do anything crazy. Mimi hasn’t done anything to you. She should’ve reported you for rape years ago, but she literally spared your life.”
“Shut up, Brenda!” Victor screamed. “I don’t want to hear anything else about Mimi! She had no business coming back here! She should’ve left well enough alone! And you’re not going anywhere! You’re my wife!”
“Not for long,” Brenda retorted, her hands on her hips. “I’ve had about enough of you as I can stand.”
Victor took a long hard look at Brenda and turned the gun over in his hand. “You don’t want to make me your enemy. It wouldn’t be wholesome for family relations.”
“So, I ask you again. Do you plan to kill me?” Brenda asked.
“Don’t provoke me, Brenda. I’ve maintained my composure better than I expected.” Victor turned away and put the gun in his pocket.
“Give me the gun, Victor. You’re not going anywhere until you give it to me.”
“For a psychologist, you don’t make much sense. Any sensible person would tell another to move out of my way. Now move out of my way, Brenda.”
Victor’s voice boomed and Brenda jumped. She watched as Victor hurried out of the room. His feet made pitter patter sounds on the stairs that ran from the top floor to the main floor. And then she heard it. BAM. The sound of Victor’s anger as he slammed the door, shaking the house like a mini earthquake. Brenda stood a moment and assessed all that had transpired. Then she moved out of her trance, picked up the purse she’d thrown on the bed, and pulled out her cell phone.
Brenda dialed a number. “Answer, Mimi, answer. I’ve got to warn you.”