Nineteen
The Camfields were waiting in their sedan when Cole and Daria drove in to the parking lot of the café. Vera’s lipsticked smile evaporated the instant she saw Cole emerge from the driver’s seat. She turned away from them and busied herself with something invisible on the dashboard. Jack got out of the car and took Cole’s outstretched hand politely, but his downcast eyes refused to meet Cole’s gaze.
While Daria released a suddenly cheerful Natalie from the car seat, she waited to see how Cole would explain his decision to Natalie’s grandparents.
“Jack, I’m afraid we’re going to have to disappoint you today,” he started, dipping his head in a show of deference. “We’re going to disappoint you and Natalie,” Cole continued.
Jack cocked his head, obviously curious. Daria saw Vera’s car window glide down slowly—she knew that the woman hadn’t missed a word.
“What’s this all about?” Jack asked.
“I sincerely apologize that you drove all this way for nothing, but Natalie isn’t going to be able to go home with you tonight. We’ve been working very hard to help her learn that she can’t get her way by throwing a tantrum, but I’m afraid it’s going to take something drastic to get the message through to her. We had to tell her that she won’t be able to go home with you this time.”
Natalie stiffened in Daria’s arms, and her wide-eyed stare told Daria that she understood perfectly the gist of what Cole was saying.
Cole went on to explain what had happened at Daria’s mother’s, concluding with, “I’m really sorry.”
Daria thought she saw a glint of something akin to admiration in Jack’s eyes, but when Vera let out a wail of dismay, Jack took his cue from her. “I understand what you’re trying to do, but don’t you think this is a little severe?”
“Like I said, Jack, I’m terribly sorry that our discipline of Natalie had to inconvenience and disappoint you. But I think it is very important that we not back down on this. We would be glad to bring her up to your place next weekend or whenever it’s convenient for you. And I’d like to buy you supper before you head back home.”
“That won’t be necessary,” Jack said tersely.
“Daria, please,” Vera implored desperately from her roost inside the car.
Jack joined the appeal. “Daria? Please reconsider.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could say one word, Cole answered for her, “No, I’m sorry, but we’ve already decided. We can’t give in to her.”
How dare he speak for her! How dare he let them believe that she was in agreement with him when he knew exactly the opposite to be true!
“Cole, I think this is Daria’s decision to make. Natalie is her daughter,” Jack said firmly, as though he sensed the division between them.
“Daria and I are raising Natalie together, Jack, and we will decide how to discipline her and when.” Cole spoke deliberately, and Daria knew he was measuring his words very carefully. “We’ll be happy to drive her up to visit you next week, but she is not going anywhere this weekend,” he repeated.
At this Natalie started to cry, and Vera leapt from the car, red-faced and trembling. “This is ridiculous!” she seethed, slamming the door behind her. She stormed past her husband and Cole and went to where Daria stood holding Natalie in her arms. “Daria, talk some sense into him! We came to see our granddaughter, and I’m not leaving here without her!”
Again Cole spoke before Daria could think of one thing to say. “Mrs. Camfield,” he said calmly, “I understand that you are disappointed, but surely you can see how important it is that we not let Natalie get away with the tantrum she threw only a few minutes ago. If we give in now, we’ll never win her obedience.”
“That is preposterous,” the older woman sputtered. “Of all the cruel things I’ve heard, this takes the cake.” She was almost growling now. “This child is the only thing we have left of our son, and you are not going to take that away from us!”
“Vera!” Jack chided sharply. “Settle down now. There’s obviously nothing we can say that is going to make a difference here. We’ll just have to arrange another time. Let’s go.”
Vera ignored him and reached for Natalie. “Come here, Nattie. Come and see Grandma,” she coaxed in a voice that was suddenly silver.
Natalie saw her opportunity and began to cry even harder, leaning toward her grandmother’s outstretched arms. Cole stepped between Vera and his wife and daughter, taking the kicking, screaming child from Daria. He opened the back car door and began restraining Natalie in the car seat again.
Speechless and struggling to rein in her own rising temper, Daria mouthed an apology toward Jack and Vera. She managed to climb into the passenger seat of the car before collapsing in tears.
Cole walked around to the driver’s side as Daria watched Jack and Vera get into their own car and drive away, stricken expressions pasted on their faces.
Cole put the car in gear and pulled out of the café’s parking lot, turning in the opposite direction from what the Camfields had taken, even though the shortest route home was the same way.
Daria would have lashed out at Cole right then if she’d thought he could hear her over Natalie’s screams. Instead she fumed in silence, wondering what she had ever seen in this stubborn, brash man. What had she ever loved about him?
Natalie screamed the entire way home, and when Cole had parked the car in the garage, he told Daria in a stern voice, “I’ll deal with her.”
That was where she drew the line. “No! You leave her alone,” she shouted, furious, jumping out of the car before he could beat her to it. Cole got out and came around to where Natalie was kicking wildly at Daria, her little face mottled and purple with rage.
“Daria, I understand you’re angry with me, but this is between Natalie and me. Please let me handle it.”
She ignored him and went on trying to hold down her daughter’s flailing limbs and to undo the restraining harnesses at the same time.
Cole put his arms firmly on Daria’s shoulders. “Daria, come on. You’re as mad as she is. Please, let me take her.”
“Get your hands off of me!” she hissed. The venom in her voice terrified even herself. What’s happening to us? Defeated, she ducked her head and got out, then sagged against the side of the car in tears.
Cole leaned inside the backseat and calmly muscled Natalie out of her restraints. Without looking back at Daria, he cradled Natalie in his arms and carried her into the house. The door slammed behind them.
Daria waited several minutes, standing motionless beside the car. Finally an urgency to know what was happening drove her inside. Natalie’s fresh screams met her in the hallway. Cole had apparently put her in her crib, and he was heading down the hallway.
“What are you doing? She’s not tired, Cole. You’re just going to dump her in bed and walk away?” she accused.
“She can’t be reasoned with right now, Daria. She has herself so worked up she just needs to cool off. She’s safe in her crib. It won’t hurt her to cry it out.”
The fact that he had stayed so calm and rational throughout Natalie’s entire tantrum infuriated Daria. He seemed completely cold to her daughter’s feelings, to the emotional state she’d worked herself into because of his rash discipline. Didn’t he have feelings?
“I’m going to go get her and try to calm her down,” she said, brushing past him in the hallway, being careful that their skin didn’t touch.
“Daria, please don’t. You’ll just set her off again.”
“Set her off! In case you hadn’t noticed she’s still going strong, Cole. She doesn’t understand one thing that’s going on. All she knows is that you denied her what she’s been looking forward to all day, and now you’ve thrown her in bed and left her all alone!”
“I didn’t throw her in bed, Daria.” Still that calm, unperturbed manner. “I explained exactly why she was being put to bed, I gave her a hug and a kiss, and I told her I loved her.”
Daria snorted. “And that’s supposed to make me feel better?”
She saw the first glimpse of anger manifest itself in the flare of his nostrils. “Daria, I’m sorry, but this isn’t about making you feel better. This is about getting control of our daughter. She has to learn that when we say something we mean it. She has to learn to accept our discipline, or we are going to have a completely out-of-control little brat on our hands. I will not be part of that, Daria. I know you think I’m being cruel, and I know you don’t like to hear your daughter cry. I don’t either. But sometimes that’s what it takes.”
“What makes you such an expert, Dr. Hunter?”
He reeled visibly at the contempt in her voice. “I don’t claim to be an expert, Daria, but I do know that what we’ve been doing isn’t working.” He turned away from her and started back down the hallway.
“Don’t walk out on me, Cole!”
He kept going.
She stormed past him, out the kitchen door, and slumped onto the bottom step in the garage. For several minutes, she sat there with her head in her hands, not knowing what to do. It was stifling, and the acrid odor of the car’s exhaust lingered in the air. She sniffed away the stinging sensation it left in her nostrils.
Her mind swirled with an alarming muddle of emotions. Rage at Cole that he had ripped this decision from her without even listening to her input. Horror that she had felt such deep hatred for a man she loved. Dismay that Cole had allowed this sickening spectacle to play out in front of Jack and Vera Camfield. And under it all, contempt for herself that she had allowed Natalie to become so out of control.
She lifted her head and listened for Natalie’s wails. She couldn’t hear the sound of crying any longer, and she wondered how long she would have to sit there before Cole would come after her. He owed her an apology, but she wasn’t sure she could ever forgive him.
She wiped the sweat from her brow with the back of her hand, then stood up and brushed off the seat of her jeans before quietly opening the door to the kitchen. The house was grey in the late evening shadows—and still, as though no one was home.
She flipped on the light over the kitchen sink and washed her hands, just to make some noise. There was still no sound from either Cole or Natalie. Curious now, she tiptoed down the hallway and peeked through the open door of Natalie’s room. It was dark in there as well, but she could hear her daughter’s deep breathing. Breaths of slumber, with the occasional shuddering of one who had cried herself to sleep.
As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she saw that Cole was sitting in the rocking chair, cradling Natalie against his chest. His back was to Daria, and he rocked slowly, deliberately, and stroked Natalie’s tiny back in a soothing rhythm, never stopping. His right cheek rested atop the little girl’s head, and Daria could smell the salty mingling of sweat and tears and sleep.
The scene wrenched Daria’s heart. Natalie had forgiven her daddy. The thought caught her up short. Her daddy. What Cole had told Jack Camfield was right—he was Natalie’s father in every sense of the word. Why had she suddenly become so possessive of their daughter? Why had his strict discipline angered her so intensely?
The rocking chair creaked as Cole rose carefully, trying, she knew, to get Natalie into bed without waking her. As he turned toward the crib, he saw her leaning against the doorjamb, and he looked at her with an expression she couldn’t quite read in the semi-darkness.
He kept his hand on Natalie’s back until her breathing grew steady again, and then he motioned for Daria to follow him from the room.
In the hallway, he reached for her tentatively, and when she didn’t push him away, he took her face in his hands—gently, but with an urgency she understood fully—and brought his own face close to hers. “Daria, I’m sorry. That got ugly, and I put you in the middle of it. Please forgive me,” he whispered.
She wanted to hang on to the anger she’d felt. She wanted to hear him say that the whole fiasco was his fault, yet she knew that wasn’t entirely true, so she said nothing.
“Will you forgive me?” he repeated, brushing a strand of hair back from her temple.
“We need to talk, Cole.” In spite of her desire to nurse her grudge, she felt its hard edge softening.
He took her hand and led her to the living room, pulling her down on the sofa beside him. “Okay, let’s talk.”
While he listened, she poured out all her anger, all her doubts, and especially her chagrin at the fact that the blowup had occurred in front of the Camfields. “You couldn’t have handpicked anyone worse to humiliate me in front of, Cole,” she moaned.
At that he bristled. “I could say exactly the same thing to you, Daria. From day one those people have made me feel unworthy to be Natalie’s father. I can understand why it might be hard for them to see me with their granddaughter, but I don’t deserve their resentment. There is nothing I want more than to be a good dad to Natalie. And I don’t think I’m being unreasonable in hoping that Nate’s parents might even feel grateful that under the circumstances I’ve made Natalie’s and your life a little happier, a little more secure. I admit that I took my frustration out on Jack and Vera. That wasn’t fair after they drove all this way. But I truly felt it was important that we not give in to Natalie.”
Daria sat silently, refusing to look at him, mulling his words over in her mind.
After a few minutes he spoke again, “I am sorry, Daria. I was wrong. And I’ll call Jack and Vera and apologize to them.” He paused a beat, then muttered, “Much as it will pain me.”
She gave him a tiny smile.
“Oh, Cole,” she said finally. “I’m sorry. I’ve been so focused on myself that I didn’t even think about how this affects you. You are Natalie’s father. And you’re a wonderful father. But—” She hesitated, not wanting to start another argument.
“Say it,” he urged.
“Well, it wasn’t fair for you to just make the decision yourself. You should have talked to me about it before you came down with your verdict.”
“I’ll give you that,” he said with a meek, sideways grin. “But can we agree right now that we will start being more consistent with her? She’s a little toughie—I have a feeling we have one of those textbook strong-willed children on our hands—and she’s going to play us against each other every chance she gets if she sees that we’re divided on this.”
“I’ll try, Cole. It won’t be easy, but I’ll try. And I’m so sorry this turned into such a huge fight. I said some horrible things—and thought some even more horrible things. Things I didn’t even mean. I need to ask your forgiveness too.”
“You know you have it.” He took her hand, and they both sat in silence for several minutes. Finally he turned to her. “So what horrible things were you thinking?”
She shook her head firmly. “You don’t want to know.”
“Then don’t tell me,” he said, leaning over to kiss her gently. He drew away and then laughed softly. “Man,” he said, shaking his head in feigned bewilderment, “I thought we were going to see steam coming from Vera’s ears.”
Daria giggled at the vision of the prim and proper Vera literally letting off steam, and for now their shared laughter drew her into the circle of her husband’s arms.