CHAPTER 17
INDIGO SAT AT the head of the table, with Ms. Moore to his right. Dinner, for something thrown together more hastily than Vivian was used to, was a fine affair. There was grilled salmon, homemade biscuits and honey, fresh greens, brown rice steamed tender with butter and salt, wine, and orange juice from the last can Vivian had been able to find in Bensen. She’d been saving it in the freezer for something, since long before Rachel Crossed. She thought maybe tonight was the something.
The men fell silent as the dishes were brought out and set on the table, as though something holy was occurring. Rachel knew why. Food wasn’t exactly scarce Away, but it wasn’t plentiful either. And spices like the ones Vivian had used on the salmon didn’t exist there. There was salt. The Others used small peppers and onions to flavor other foods. But they didn’t have cayenne, or nutmeg, or brown sugar. Vivian used those in a marinade she brushed on salmon steaks; it was one of Rachel’s favorites.
At first, there was very little talk. Vivian and Elizabeth seemed content to just watch the men eat. Rachel was busy eating, herself. Soon, though, appetites were blunted. Indigo was the first to sit back and heave a deep sigh.
“That was so delicious.”
“Surely you aren’t finished?” Ms. Moore sounded heartbroken.
“Not at all,” said Indigo, patting his stomach. “Just taking a break. And while I do, I think we should probably discuss some things.”
Pathik and Fisher both put their forks down, with a mournful air. Indigo chuckled.
“Boys, no need to stop—we can talk and enjoy this wonderful meal at the same time.”
Ms. Moore smiled at him, looking as happy as Rachel had ever imagined seeing her look.
“I think we need to pack whatever we can and Cross,” said Vivian. She was looking at Daniel, but the image of the bloodstained grate inside the government vehicle kept appearing in her mind.
“I agree,” said Indigo. “I hope,” he said, reaching out to take Ms. Moore’s hand, “that we all agree. It may seem frightening to think of Crossing, but it’s not safe here.”
Ms. Moore covered his hand with hers. “We will. This time, we will.”
“This is so good,” said Fisher, pointing to his salmon. “Can we take some of whatever spice this is with us?”
Everyone laughed.
“Actually, that’s not a bad idea,” said Pathik. “There are all kinds of things we can use to improve life. Just a small thing like that laser saw made a huge difference.”
“I’d be dead if Rachel hadn’t had that,” said Daniel. “I’m told I have you to thank for that, Ms. Moore.”
“Call me Elizabeth, please.” Ms. Moore smiled at Daniel. “I think we need to make a list. Medicine, more solarpowered tools, spices. What else can we come up with? We’ll get what we can in the morning and leave tomorrow night. We shouldn’t waste any more time than that.”
“What about Peter’s wife? What about his daughter? We have to at least try to help them.” Rachel wondered how they could help them, even as she asked the questions.
“Oh Rachel.” Vivian looked sorrowful. “Your dad told me about Peter. He really was our friend after all, wasn’t he?” She hesitated. “Jolie and Trina were listed as dead in yesterday’s streamer news, Rachel.”
“Are you sure?” Rachel knew the answer before Vivian’s somber nod confirmed it.
“They listed them as infected with one of the viruses. Nobody thinks twice about that anymore. There’s always a new one that the drugs can’t kill.”
Every few years there was a new flu, one that killed a few thousand people a day for a few weeks, until the government came up with a drug that stopped it. Rachel had never given the death lists a thought; it was just a part of life. Now she wondered how many of those deaths weren’t from viruses.
“All the more reason to get out of here.” Daniel looked angry.
“We’ll have to get what we need from Bensen if I don’t have it here. Medicines, maybe some of the tools,” said Ms. Moore.
“What about asking Dr. Beller?” Rachel was confused. When they had been readying supplies to pass on to Pathik, Dr. Beller had delivered medicine and other medical items to The Property, in return for a large sum. He had been Ms. Moore’s doctor for years; he’d helped her when Malgam was born, and hadn’t reported the baby to the authorities or questioned why Ms. Moore didn’t want Malgam’s genids recorded at the birth.
“Dr. Beller died, Rachel,” said Ms. Moore. “Right after he brought the medical supplies out last time, he had a heart attack, or at least that’s what was reported. We’ll have to chance the black market in Bensen to get medical supplies now.”
Jonathan had been quiet during the meal, passing dishes and pouring wine, but now he spoke.
“I think I should go alone, and get the things you’ll need. I know where some of the backdoor vendors can be found. And there’s less chance of someone being suspicious than if a band of strangers ends up in town.”
“You’re probably right about that, Jonathan.” Daniel nodded. “That’s very generous of you to offer.”
Elizabeth studied Jonathan. “You said the supplies we will need. Aren’t you coming with us?”
Everyone was silent. Jonathan didn’t say anything for a long time. When he did speak, it was more to Daniel than to Elizabeth.
“I figure you might need a contact on this side. You never know. And I’m an old man. It’s too late for me to start over.”
“No.” Rachel shook her head. “No, Jonathan. You have to come with us. The EOs will know something happened when Mom and Ms. Moore just disappear. They won’t leave you alone. You have to come.” Rachel’s hands were both squeezed into fists.
“All I have to say is that I reported for work in the morning and Ms. Moore and your mom were gone. They won’t trouble with me. Not much, anyway.” Jonathan reached over and touched Rachel’s shoulder. She shook his hand off.
“It is a better idea for Jonathan to go alone to Bensen.” Ms. Moore sounded very tired. Or perhaps just very sad. “As for the rest of it, we’ll talk more later. For now, our list. And then I suggest we all retire. We’ll need our rest.”
“WHAT’S THE PROBLEM with Jonathan?” Pathik was sitting in the upstairs landing with Rachel. They had to wait in line to get ready for bed, because there were only two bathrooms in the main house, and seven people. Jonathan had gone back to his own home for the night; he would return very early in the morning to get creds and the list of supplies before he headed for Bensen. Ms. Moore was already in bed—she had gone to her room right after dinner. Vivian and Daniel were tidying downstairs and Fisher and Indigo were washing up.
“He’s going to come with us. He has to.” Rachel was still upset at the thought that Jonathan might stay behind.
“He used to love Ms. Moore, didn’t he?” Pathik spoke so quietly he was almost whispering.
Rachel stared at him. “Did you feel that? Did you feel it with your gift?”
Pathik nodded. “Not that I would have to use my gift. It was plain on his face. He used to love her and she loved Indigo. Right?”
“I think he still loves her,” said Rachel.
Pathik shook his head. “He loves her, but not like that, not anymore.”
“You don’t know that for sure.” Rachel knew he did, though.
Pathik ignored her comment. “It must have been hard for him, knowing she loved someone else, when he felt so much for her.”
“I guess.” Rachel frowned. She’d been wondering about Pathik’s gift. She’d never asked him exactly how it worked. “When you feel other people’s emotions . . . do you know what they’re thinking? Like Jonathan, do you hear what he thinks about Ms. Moore?”
Pathik shrugged. “It’s not like that. It’s more like, well, like colors. Or maybe like temperatures?” He thought. “It’s like the emotions people are feeling, emotions that they might not even be aware of themselves, just frame what they say—put it in context. So if someone says ‘I’m telling you the truth’ but the emotion they are feeling is fear or anger, they may not really be telling the truth.” He looked frustrated. “That’s a bad example. It’s much more subtle than that, more involved, but I can’t really explain it.”
“So you don’t really hear what someone is thinking.”
“No.”
“But you can tell what they are feeling.”
“If I look, yes, I can.”
“And what’s the rule on that?” Rachel cast him a sidelong glance. “Does Usage prohibit you from looking without permission?”
Pathik grinned at her. “Yes. But sometimes, I can’t help it. There’s spillover, and even without trying I can just . . . tell.”
Rachel didn’t say anything. She looked at her hands in her lap.
Pathik changed the subject. “How is Jonathan going to get to Bensen tomorrow?”
“He’ll probably take his vehicle. He has a truck. Ms. Moore’s utility vehicle might hold more stuff, but he never drives it. If anyone was watching, it would look strange for him to take that.” Rachel tilted her head at Pathik. “Why?”
“I want to go to Bensen.” Pathik held up his hand to stop her protest. “I know, I know. But I’ll never have a chance to see anything like it again in my life, Rachel. I just want to go look.”
“Jonathan will never take you.”
“He’s got to come inside to get the list. I could hide in the truck, couldn’t I?”
Rachel shook her head.
“I’ll stay hidden, Rachel.” Pathik pleaded.
Rachel shook her head some more. But she thought about the tarp Jonathan always had in the back of his truck.
“He’ll find you, the minute he loads anything into the back.”
“By then it will be too late to do anything about it.” A door opened down the hall and Pathik dropped his voice to a whisper. “Please.”
Rachel scowled. “I’ll only do it if I come too.”
Pathik shook his head. “It’s not safe for you to—” He stopped talking. The look on Rachel’s face was fierce. No words were required.
Footsteps sounded in the hall and Fisher came around the corner.
“Washroom is free.” Fisher’s face was shiny clean. “I love that soap.”
Rachel and Pathik both laughed at his dreamy expression. Rachel stood.
“I’ll go next.” She gave Pathik a pointed look. “See you in the morning.”