16
The trouble is that Dan Carney doesn’t seem to know he belongs to Lily. On Sunday morning he turns up at the flat, telling my parents he’s helping me with a school project about Liverpool.
There is no school project, except in Dan’s head, but his bright eyes and wide grin make up for that. He has my parents eating out of his hand. They don’t know that Dan is trouble, or that he belongs to another girl. They think he’s sweet, and practically bundle me into my coat in their enthusiasm to see me settling in, having fun, doing something with a friend.
We walk towards Princes Boulevard in silence.
‘You’re cross with me,’ he says. ‘What did I do?’
‘You just turned up again, no warning!’ I huff.
‘But I promised,’ Dan says. ‘I said we’d explore some more! It took a while to plan, that’s all. I wanted to surprise you.’
‘I’ve had enough surprises,’ I tell him. ‘Sometimes I see you, sometimes not. Sometimes we are friends, sometimes not…’
‘I thought I explained,’ Dan says. ‘It’s complicated. My mates think I’m a hero, the teachers think I’m heading for an ASBO. I’m just juggling it all, trying to keep Mum from finding out, because that’s the very last thing she needs…’
I bite my lip. I wish I could forget Lily Caldwell, her cold grey eyes, her perfectly painted lips blowing smoke rings into the frosty air, but I can’t.
‘And your girlfriend,’ I ask Dan. ‘What does she think?’
Dan stops walking. ‘I don’t have a girlfriend,’ he says.
‘Lily says you do.’
‘Lily?’ he echoes. ‘Er… you’ve got that wrong, Anya. Lily is just a mate!’
‘This is not what Lily says.’
‘No way!’ Dan argues. ‘I’ve known her since primary school. I like her, sure, but… Lily’s just one of the gang! You must have misunderstood.’
I know different. Language barrier or not, Lily made herself very clear.
Dan takes my hands, right there in the middle of the pavement. ‘If I was going to ask a girl out… well, trust me, Anya, it wouldn’t be Lily.’
My heart soars, and for a moment I don’t care about Lily Caldwell. Dan likes me… I know he does!
‘Only, it’s not that simple,’ Dan sighs, and the dreams come crashing down around my feet. ‘I can’t ask anyone out right now, because my life’s a mess and I can’t keep myself out of trouble, let alone anyone else. But I like you, Anya… I like you a lot. When I get things sorted, well, maybe then…’
‘Sorted?’ I echo.
Dan sighs. He flops down on to a garden wall, his shoulders slumping. ‘It’s been a weird few months,’ he says. ‘Mum inherited some money from an aunt and took a lease on the cafe and the flat above. It was her dream…’
He frowns. ‘The trouble is my dad… he’s never around these days – and when he is, all they ever do is fight. Something’s wrong, really wrong, and I don’t know what to do about it. D’you know why I set fire to that book, Anya? I had to – I’d written about the rows, and Miss Matthews was going to make me read it out. She shouldn’t have done that, right?’
‘No,’ I whisper, biting my lip. ‘She shouldn’t.’
Dan takes hold of my hand and squeezes it gently. ‘See?’ he sighs. ‘Complicated.’
I can see now that complicated doesn’t even start to cover it. Dan’s life really is chaotic and crazy, and not in a good way.
‘So… friends, right?’ Dan asks.
‘Friends,’ I tell him. ‘Always.’
It’s not what I want, but it’s better than some things. Better than the picture Lily painted, for sure. And at least now I know where I stand.
We walk on, cutting down side streets lined with towering Victorian terraces, until we come to a huge arched gateway, patterned with rich, jewel-bright colours. Dan leads me through, and suddenly we’re in a busy street lined with Chinese restaurants and shops selling velvet slippers and paper lanterns bright with painted dragons. My eyes open wide.
‘There’s been a Chinese community in Liverpool since forever,’ Dan is telling me. ‘A long time, anyhow. And Afro-Caribbean, and African, and mixed race, and tons of Irish and a whole bunch of Europeans. Liverpool’s a melting pot, right? The pool of life. That’s what makes it so cool. We all belong… you, me, all of us.’
I don’t feel like I belong in Liverpool, not yet. But I like the idea that I could, one day.
‘Give it a chance,’ Dan says, as if he can read my mind. ‘It’s bound to be weird at first, but it’ll grow on you. It’s the friendliest city in the world. I love it!’
And because Dan loves it, I want to love it too.
He has it all planned out. We take a ferry across the Mersey and back, eat cheese rolls looking out over the Albert Dock with its tall, elegant sailing ships, then mooch around the Liverpool Tate, squinting at op-art abstracts that make us go crosseyed. Then we tour the Beatles Museum, learning all about four Liverpool boys with dodgy haircuts who just about invented pop music before developing a taste for songs about yellow submarines and marmalade skies.
Dan checks his watch. ‘Shall we go?’ he asks. ‘I arranged a lift home, in case you were tired. Your carriage awaits…’
Outside, Ringo’s weird yellow taxi is parked at the kerb.
‘All right?’ the ageing hippy grins. ‘One magical mystery tour, coming right up. Free of charge to you two, obviously!’
It’s dark by the time the yellow submarine taxi drops us off on the corner by the chippy. ‘Thanks, Dan,’ I say. ‘Today was the best day ever.’
‘Any time!’ Dan leans towards me, and for a moment I think he must have changed his mind about the ‘just friends’ thing, but at the last minute he grins and ruffles my hair and heads off into the shadows.
I climb the steps to the flat, smiling.
The minute I push open the door to the living room, I know something’s wrong. Mum, Dad and Kazia are huddled round the table, and a dull, awkward silence hangs over the room. Mum’s pale face is streaked with tears, Dad’s is creased and lined with worry, and even Kazia looks frightened.
Suddenly, I’m scared too.
It turns out that Dad’s business partner, Yuri, has pulled out of the business and gone back to the Ukraine, leaving Dad with one big tangle of bills, debts and complaints.
‘It’s the recession,’ Dad tries to explain. ‘All across Europe, the boom times are over. Ukrainians, Poles, Latvians, all are heading home to their own countries, their families. Our workforce is half what it was. Some of the firms we worked for have folded… nobody knows who to trust. I’m using the last of our savings to help keep the business afloat. It’s a mess. And with Yuri gone, there’s only me to sort it.’
‘We’ll be OK, Anya,’ Mum says, but I’m not sure she believes it. ‘I can work extra shifts at the hotel, keep us going until things pick up.’
‘What if things don’t pick up?’ I ask.
‘If they don’t…’ Mum’s voice trails away, and Dad puts his head in his hands.
‘If the business fails, we have no choice,’ he says. ‘We must go home to Krakow.’
My heart freezes.
Not so very long ago, of course, that was all I wanted, but things are different now. Liverpool is no dream, but it’s not a nightmare, either. I guess I’m starting to see the place as it really is. I’m getting the hang of the language, coping better at school, starting to settle in. And I have friends, good friends, special friends.
I don’t know where home is any more, but I don’t think it’s Krakow.