Chapter 14
Tom came to see Melanie several more times. They went to dinners, movies, and relaxed at her pool, despite her mother's obvious disapproval. Janet barely spoke to Tom, although he was extremely polite to her. He brought his sister over once to meet Melanie. The three of them barbecued at the pool, and had a great time. His sister was extremely impressed by Melanie, how simple she was, open and kind and understanding. There was nothing in her behavior to suggest she was a star. She really did act like the girl next door. She was thrilled when Melanie invited them to her Hollywood Bowl concert in June.
They hadn't slept with each other. They had both agreed to take things slowly, see what happened, and get to know each other first. She was still feeling bruised by Jake, and Tom didn't rush her. He kept saying they had time. They always had fun together. He brought over all his favorite movies and CDs, and shortly after she'd met his sister Nancy, he took Melanie to Pasadena to dinner. Melanie thought his parents were adorable. They were genuine, nice, friendly people. They had intelligent conversations, were well educated, liked each other, and were very respectful of her, and sensitive about her being who she was. They didn't make a fuss, they welcomed her in as they would have any of their children's friends—unlike Janet, who still acted like Tom was an intruder, or worse. Janet made every effort to be unpleasant to him, but he told Melanie he didn't mind. He realized that she thought he was a threat, and not the kind of man Melanie should go out with, particularly if her mother wanted tabloids and mainstream press for her, which she did. Melanie apologized to him constantly for her mother, and started spending more time in Pasadena, when she wasn't in rehearsal.
He came to rehearsal with her twice, and was incredibly impressed by how professional she was. Her career was no accident of fate. She was brilliant at all the technical details, did her own arrangements, wrote some of her songs, and worked unbelievably hard. Both rehearsals Tom went to, for the Hollywood Bowl concert, lasted until two A.M., until Melanie felt they had it right. The technicians he talked to, as he wandered around, said she always did that. Sometimes she worked till four or five A.M., and then wanted them back at nine the next morning. She drove them hard, but she was even harder on herself. And Tom thought she had the voice of an angel.
The day of the concert, she had told him he could come early, and he and Nancy could stay in her dressing room with her until it started. He took her at her word, and when they got there, Janet was with Melanie, hovering, and giving orders and directions. She was drinking champagne and getting her own makeup done. Sometimes photographers wanted her to pose too. She ignored Tom and Nancy for as long as she could, and then stormed off to find Melanie's hairdresser, who was smoking outside with some of the men in the band. They knew Tom by name now, and thought he was a nice guy.
They left her half an hour before the concert started. Melanie had to finish her makeup and put on her costume. Tom thought she was amazingly calm, considering she was about to perform in front of eighty thousand people. This was what she did best. She was introducing four new songs to try them out before her tour. She was leaving soon. Tom had promised to visit whenever he could, although he was starting a job in July that he was excited about. It was with Bechtel, and they had promised some travel abroad. He said it would keep him busy while Melanie was gone, and it was much better than the job he'd had lined up in San Francisco before the earthquake. This one had just fallen into his lap, through some connections of his father's. And it had some major career opportunities for him. In fact, if they were pleased with his performance, they would consider paying for business school.
“Good luck, Mel,” Tom whispered as he left her dressing room. “You'll be fantastic.” She had given them seats in the front row. When he left, she slithered into a skin-tight red satin dress, checked her makeup and hair, and put on mile-high silver platform sandals. She had six costume changes to do, with a single intermission. She was going to be working hard.
“I'm going to sing one of the new songs for you,” she whispered, and he kissed her. “You'll know which one. I just wrote it. I hope you like it.”
“I love you,” he said, as her eyes grew wide. It was the first time he had said it to her, even more amazing since they hadn't made love yet. It seemed almost irrelevant at this point, they were still getting to know each other and having a wonderful time.
“I love you too,” she answered, and then he slipped out of Melanie's dressing room as her mother stormed in, reminding her that she had less than twenty minutes, and to stop dicking around and get ready. There were four photographers right behind her, waiting to take Melanie's photograph.
Her mother helped her zip up her dress, and Melanie thanked her. And then Pam let the photographers in. Janet posed with her in two of the shots. Melanie was dwarfed beside her. Janet was a big woman, and a major presence wherever she was.
And then suddenly, they came to get Melanie. The concert was about to begin. She ran backstage, hopping nimbly over the wires and equipment, said a quick hello to her band, stood just out of sight, and closed her eyes. She took three long, slow breaths, and then she heard her cue, and drifted slowly into view through smoke. As the smoke cleared, there she was. She looked out into the audience with the sexiest smile Tom had ever seen and purred hello. This was nothing like rehearsal, or the girl he'd brought home to dinner in Pasadena. As Melanie worked her audience and sang her heart out till the rafters nearly shook, she was every inch and fiber of her being a star. The lights were too bright for her to see Tom or his sister in the audience. But in her heart, she felt him out there, and was singing for him that night.
“Wow!” Nancy said, touching her brother's arm, and he turned to her with a smile. “She's amazing!”
“She sure is,” he said proudly. He couldn't tear his eyes off her until intermission, and then rushed back to her dressing room to see her and tell her how great she was. He was thrilled to be there with her, and loved her performance. He couldn't say enough great things about her and to her. Melanie realized that this was so different from dating someone in show business. Tom was never jealous of her. They kissed quickly and then he went back to his seat. She had to change clothes again, and this was a tough costume change. Pam and her mother helped her into the skin-tight dress. It was even tighter than the ones she'd worn before, and she looked fabulous when she stepped onstage again for the second act.
They did seven encores that night. She always did them to please her fans. And they had loved the new song she had written to Tom. It was called “When I Found You,” and was all about their first days together in San Francisco. It talked about the bridge, the beach, and the earthquake in her heart. He listened to it raptly, and his sister had tears in her eyes as she listened.
“Is that you?” she whispered. He nodded, and she shook her head in amazement. Whatever their relationship was going to be over time, it had clearly gotten started like a rocket shooting into space, and it was showing no signs of slowing down.
They joined Melanie afterward in her dressing room when it was over. This time there were dozens of people congratulating her, photographers, her assistant, her mother, friends, groupies who had somehow wormed their way in. Tom and Nancy were crushed in the crowd, and afterward they went to Spago for dinner, although they arrived late because it took a while to get there. Wolfgang Puck had prepared their meal himself.
After dinner, Tom and Nancy went back to Pasadena, and he kissed Melanie before he left. He promised to come and see her in the morning, then they all dispersed. It had been a long night. There was a mile-long white stretch limousine waiting for her outside. It was anything but discreet, but this was her public persona, the one he had never seen before. It was the private Melanie that he loved, but he had to admit that this one was fun too.
He called her on her cell phone right after she got home, and told her again how fabulous she had been. She had made a diehard fan out of him, especially with the song she'd written just for them. It sounded like another Grammy winner to him.
“I'll be over first thing in the morning,” he promised. They were trying to spend as much time together as they could, before she left for Vegas in a week.
“We can read the reviews together when you get here. I hate that part. They always find something to bitch about.”
“I don't see how they can this time.”
“They will,” she said, sounding like the pro she was. “Jealousy sucks.” Often bad reviews were more about that than a bad performance, but the criticism hurt anyway, even if she was used to it. It always hurt. Sometimes her mother or Pam hid reviews from her if they were really rude, which happened sometimes too.
When Tom arrived the next day, there were newspapers spread out all over their kitchen table.
“So far so good,” Melanie whispered to Tom, as her mother handed them to her one by one. She looked pleased.
“They like the new songs,” her mother commented, glancing at Tom with a frosty smile. Even she had to admit the one to him was good.
All in all, the reviews were great. The concert had been a huge hit, which would bode well for her concert tour, and even the show in Vegas, which was smaller and was already sold out, just as the one at the Hollywood Bowl had been.
“So what are you two kids doing today?” Janet asked, glancing at both of them, looking pleased, as though she had played the concert herself. It was the first time she had willingly included Tom in anything she said. They had turned a corner, although Melanie didn't know why. Maybe she was just in a good mood, or had finally figured out that Tom didn't want to interfere with Melanie's career. He was happy to watch the goings-on, and support whatever she did.
“I just want to relax,” Melanie said. She had to be in the recording studio again the next day. And they were starting rehearsals for the show in Vegas the day after. “What are you doing, Mom?”
“I'm going to go shopping on Rodeo,” she beamed. Nothing made her happier than Melanie performing at a huge concert and getting great reviews the next day.
She left them alone without dark looks or slamming doors this time, much to Tom's surprise.
“I think your initiation may finally be over,” Melanie said with a sigh. “For now anyway. She must have decided you're not a threat.”
“I'm not, Mel. I love what you do. It was incredible watching you last night. I couldn't believe I was sitting there, and when you sang that song, I damn near died.”
“I'm glad you liked it.” She leaned over and kissed him. She looked tired, but pleased. She had just turned twenty, and looked prettier than ever to him. “I wish I could take a break sometime, from all this. It gets old after a while,” she confessed. She had said it to him before, in the past few weeks. The time she'd spent working in the field hospital after the earthquake had been such a welcome relief.
“Maybe one of these days,” he tried to encourage her, but she just shook her head.
“My mom and my agent will never let that happen. The smell of success is too sweet to them. They're going to milk this till I die.” She sounded sad as she said it, and Tom put his arms around her and kissed her. The look in her eyes had touched him to the core, just as her song had. She was a remarkable woman, and he knew he was one lucky guy. Fate had dealt him an incredible hand. The San Francisco earthquake, and meeting her as a result, had been the best day of his life.
While Janet was reading Melanie's reviews in Hollywood that morning, Sarah and Seth Sloane were reading their own. It had finally hit the San Francisco papers, and neither of them could figure out what had taken so long. He had been arrested weeks before, and somehow no one had picked up on it. But it had finally exploded like Fourth of July fireworks, and it had even been reported by the AP. Sarah had a feeling that the reporters covering Sully's earlier arrest and impending trial had tipped off the San Francisco press that he had had a crime partner out west. Until then, Seth's story had slipped right through the cracks, but it was front-page news now. Every lurid detail was printed in the Chronicle, with a photograph of Seth and Sarah at the recent Smallest Angels benefit. What they wrote about him was grim. They had the full indictment, all available details, the name of his hedge fund, and the circumstances leading up to his arrest. It said their house was on the market, mentioned that he had a house in Tahoe and a plane. And they made it sound as though everything he owned had been purchased with ill-gotten gains. He sounded like the biggest crook and fraud in town. It was profoundly humiliating for him, and excruciating for her as well. She had no doubt that her parents would even read about it in Bermuda, once the AP put it over the wires. She realized she had to call them now. With luck, she could still explain it herself. It was simpler for Seth. His parents had been much older when he was born and both were deceased. Her parents were very much alive and would be shocked, particularly since they loved Seth, and had right from the beginning.
“It's not a pretty story, is it?” Seth said, glancing at her. They had both lost a lot of weight. He looked gaunt, and she looked drained.
“There's not much they can do with it to dress it up,” she said honestly.
These were the last days of their living together. They had agreed to stay in the house on Divisadero, for the kids’ sake, until it sold, before they moved into their own apartments. They were expecting several offers that week. It wouldn't be long. Sarah knew it would make her sad to see the house go. But she was far more upset about her marriage and her husband than about the house they had owned only for a few years. The house in Tahoe was on the market, with everything in it, even kitchenware, TVs, and linens. It was easier to sell that way to someone who wanted a ski house and didn't want to bother decorating it or filling it. The house in the city would be sold empty. They were putting their antiques up for auction at Christie's, along with their modern paintings. Her jewelry was beginning to sell in L.A.
Sarah was still looking for a job, but hadn't found anything yet. She was keeping Parmani for the children, because she knew that when she found work, she'd need someone to take care of them. She hated the idea of leaving her children in day care, even though she knew that others did. What she really wished was that she could do what she had done until now, stay home with them, as she had for the past three years. But that was over. With Seth spending every penny they had on lawyers for his defense, and possibly fines, she had to work, not just to help contribute, but maybe at some point to support her children and herself, with no help from Seth. If everything they had and owned was going to be swallowed up by court orders, lawsuits, and his defense fund, and he went to prison, who was going to help them? She had to rely on herself.
After Seth's astonishing and utterly appalling betrayal, she trusted no one now but herself. She could no longer rely on him. And she knew she'd never trust him again. He read it easily in her eyes whenever their glance met. He had no idea how to make reparations to her, or if he ever could. He doubted it, given everything she'd said. She hadn't forgiven him, and he had come to doubt she ever would. And he wasn't sure he blamed her. He was feeling deeply guilty about the effect on her. Their life was destroyed.
He was shocked when he read the article in the paper. It made mincemeat of him and Sully and made them sound like common criminals. Nothing kind or compassionate was said. They were two bad guys who had set up fraudulent hedge funds, misrepresented the financial backing, and had cheated people out of money. What else could they say? Those were the allegations, and as Seth had admitted to Sarah and his own attorney, the accusations made against them were all true.
They hardly spoke to each other again all weekend. Sarah didn't insult or berate him. There was no point. She didn't say anything. She was too hurt. He had destroyed every shred of faith and confidence she'd ever had in him, and thrown her trust out the window by proving himself unworthy of it. He had put their children's future lives at risk, and heavily impacted hers. He had made her worst nightmares come true, for better or worse.
“Don't look at me like that, Sarah,” he finally said to her over the paper. There was an even bigger, uglier article in the Sunday edition of The New York Times, which included Seth too. As important as Seth and Sarah had become in their community, their disgrace was now commensurate. Although she had done nothing herself, and knew nothing of his illegal activities before the earthquake, she felt tarred by the same brush. Their phone had been ringing off the hook for days, and she left it on the machine. There was nothing she wanted to say to anyone, or hear from them. Sympathy would have cut through her like a knife, and she didn't want to hear the thinly veiled chortles of the jealous. She was sure there would be plenty of those. The only people she had spoken to that day were her parents. They were devastated and shocked, and couldn't understand what had happened to Seth any better than she could. In the end, it was all about lack of integrity and intense greed.
“Can't you at least try to put a good face on it?” Seth said reproachfully. “You sure know how to make things worse.”
“I think you took care of that pretty efficiently, Seth.” After she cleared the table of their breakfast dishes, he found her crying at the sink.
“Sarah, don't …” His eyes held a poisonous mixture of anger and panic.
“What do you want from me?” She turned to look at him in agony. “Seth, I'm scared … what's going to happen to us? I love you. I don't want you to go to prison. I want none of this to have happened …I want you to take it back and undo it … you can't …I don't care about the money. I don't want to lose you …I love you … and you threw our whole life out the window. Now what am I supposed to do?” He couldn't stand the pain in her eyes, and instead of putting his arms around her, which was all she wanted, he turned around and walked away. He was in so much pain and terror himself that he had nothing to give her. He loved her too, but he was much too frightened for himself now to be of any help to her and the kids. He felt as though he was drowning alone. And so was she.
Sarah couldn't think of anything as devastating ever happening in her life, except when their premature baby nearly died, but she was saved by the neonatal unit. There was no way to save Seth. His crime had been too big and too shocking. Even the FBI agents had seemed somewhat disgusted by him, especially when they saw the kids. Sarah had never lost anyone in traumatic circumstances. Her grandparents had either died before she was born, or of old age without catastrophic illness. The people she had loved in her life had stood staunchly by her. Her childhood had been a happy one, her parents were solid citizens. Her boyfriends had been nice to her. Seth had always been wonderful to her. And her children were adorable and healthy. This was the worst thing by far that had ever happened to her. She had never even lost a friend to a car accident or cancer. She had passed unscathed through all thirty-five years of her life, and now a nuclear bomb had been dropped on her. And the person who had dropped it was the man she loved, her husband. She was so stunned by it that, most of the time now, she just didn't know what to say, especially to him. She didn't know where to start making it better, nor did he. The truth was that there was no way they could. His lawyers would have to do their best, with the appalling set of circumstances he'd given them to work with. And in the end, Seth would have to take his medicine, no matter how bitter it was. And so would she, even though she had done nothing to deserve it. That was the “better or worse” part. She was going down in flames with him.
Sarah called Maggie on her cell phone on Sunday night, and they spoke for a few minutes. Maggie had seen the articles in the papers in the lounge at the Presidio, and her heart had gone out to Sarah, and even Seth. They were paying a high price for his sins. And she felt sorry for the kids. She told Sarah to pray, and she would do the same.
“Maybe they'll be lenient with him,” Maggie said hopefully.
“According to Seth's attorney, that would be two to five years. At the other end of the spectrum, it could be thirty.” She had told her all that before.
“Don't go there yet. Just have faith and keep swimming. Sometimes that's the best you can do.” Sarah hung up then, walked quietly past her husband's study, and went upstairs to bathe her children. Seth had been playing with them, and she took over from him. They did everything in turns now, and were rarely in one room at the same time. Even being near each other had become painful. Sarah couldn't help wondering if she would feel better or worse when she moved out. Maybe a lot of both.
Everett called Maggie that night to discuss what he'd read about Seth in the L.A. papers. The story was all over the country by then. He had been shocked by the news, particularly since he thought Seth and Sarah looked like the perfect young couple. It reminded him yet again, as he had known for years, that you could never tell what evil lurked in people's hearts. Like everyone else who read of it, he felt sorry for Sarah and their children, and not at all for Seth. He was getting what he deserved, if the allegations were true, and they sounded so perfectly nailed down that he suspected they were.
“What a miserable situation for her. I saw a little of her at the benefit. She seems like a nice woman. But then again, he looked okay too. Who knew.” He had seen her briefly at the field hospital too, but hadn't talked to her for long. She looked upset then, and now he knew why. “If you see her somewhere, tell her I'm sorry,” he said sincerely, and Maggie didn't acknowledge whether or not she would. She was faithful to Sarah and the relationship they had, and kept all her secrets, even that they saw each other.
Otherwise, Everett said he was doing fine, and so was Maggie. She was happy to hear from him, but as always, she was troubled when she hung up. Just hearing his voice touched her heart. She prayed about it after they talked, and she went for a long walk on the beach at dusk. She was beginning to wonder if she should stop taking or returning his calls. But she told herself she had the strength to deal with it. He was only a man, after all. And she was the bride of God. What man could compete with that?