16
JACKIE O
BEDROOM
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 6TH
10:13 P.M.
Later that night, Charlie slipped her nightgown over her head—an extra-long silver tee that grew or lost sleeves based on her body temp—and stared at herself in one of the floating bathroom mirrors. The same medium brown eyes stared back at her, but she didn’t feel the same. In four short hours she’d gone from informant to assassin. And thanks to a lucky guess by Renee, everyone knew. Yesterday she’d been desperate for friends. Tonight she would have settled for eye contact.
A minty lump formed in the back of her throat. It tasted like toothpaste and guilt. She wouldn’t miss Renee—or the name Charlie Brown-nose. But if she’d known that naming names would result in public expulsion, would she have chosen differently—or even at all?
In that instant, her resentment toward Shira quadrupled. She had given up her loved ones for the opportunity to be here. And for what?
From the safety of a stall, Charlie broke through the firewall and texted her mum for the fourth time that day.
Charlie: She expelled Renee. All my fault. If I’d known this was what she wanted me for, I never would have accepted. You’d still be here. I’d still be with Darwin.
Bee: And you’d be in New Jersey, not living up to your full potential.
Charlie: As a spy?
Bee: As an alpha.
Tears gathered behind Charlie’s eyes. It felt like forever since anyone had said something nice to her.
Bee: Thought you were going to turn in the songwriter.
Charlie: Changed my mind. Long story.
How was she supposed to explain she loved Darwin too much to get rid of his new girlfriend? It sounded crazy. But she couldn’t cause him any more pain than she already had. No matter how much it hurt to see him and Allie J together. Besides, Renee had caught on to the spy thing. And Charlie had wanted to make sure she stayed quiet before she spread the word. A lot of good that had done.
Bee: I’ve got time.
More than anything, Charlie wanted to ask her mother why Shira had put her in the writing class in the first place. Was it simply an attempt to twist the knife she had already lodged in her heart? To punish her for a lifetime of adoring Darwin by forcing her to watch him with his new crush? Bee was the only one who understood Shira’s mind. But Charlie didn’t want to go there. Why make Bee worry about her daughter’s happiness? She’d already sacrificed so much.
Charlie: It’s OK. How r u?
Bee: Great! Got a job at channel 4 as a producer. Shira wrote me a brilliant rec. Sent her the coffee recipe as a thank-you.
Charlie: Congrats, mum! You deserve it. You’ve been producing Shira’s life for years.
Bee: All 4 u.
Charlie: I hear your voice every day on the announcements. Makes me miss u more!
Bee: Miss you too! Night-night. Don’t let the alphas bite.art
Once she logged off, Charlie began sobbing. Even though she’d spent the majority of her life traveling to foreign and unfamiliar places, she’d never felt more lost. More uncertain of her role in the universe and less motivated to figure it out. Why bother? With no one to share it with, success would be just another reminder that she was alone.
After restoring the firewall and washing her face, Charlie pressed her forehead against the bathroom’s frosted-glass wall. A day at Alpha Academy was beginning to feel like a season of 24—how could so much happen in so little time?
Back in the bedroom, the girls were sharing moisturizer and playing Survivor: Alpha Island Celebrity Edition, a game to decide which famous women would make Shira’s cut. They were clearly too afraid that the topic they really wanted to discuss—Renee’s axing—might get them expelled too.
“Tyra?” Triple said, rubbing sage-scented cream into her bony elbows.
“Alpha,” Allie J determined.
“Lauren Conrad?” Skye asked, twisting her blond waves into a high bun.
Allie J banged on her pillow like it was a buzzer. “Alpha!”
“You watch The Hills?” Triple lifted her arched brows in surprise.
“Um, only because they wanted to use one of my songs for the open. But I turned them down. Too superficial.”
“Know your history, Allie J!” Skye admonished. “Didn’t you watch Laguna Beach? Once a beta, always a beta. Vanessa Hudgens?”
“Not alpha,” Triple insisted.
“How can you say that?” Allie J asked vehemently. “Record deal. Huge box office. And Zac?”
“You can’t be alpha if your boyfriend is more famous than you,” Triple duhed, slamming the cap on the moisturizer as if her word was final.
Allie J turned to Charlie and smirked. “So true.”
An invisible hand grabbed Charlie’s heart and squeezed.
“See anything you’d like to report?” Allie J snapped.
Charlie lay down on her bed and looked up at the dome skylight overhead. The moon was a smile-shaped sliver, and a single star glowed beside it. She thought of Darwin’s mouth and the freckle she had kissed so many times.
Allie J pointed at her wrist, where a watch should be. “We should get going.”
“No way. Mission’s off.” Triple ran the leftover moisturizer through her nonexistent split ends.
“Why?” Allie J hissed through clenched teeth like a rookie ventriloquist. She was accessorizing her bedtime tank–boy shorts combo with a thin cotton scarf. She looked half rollergirl, half hipster.
“Were you not there when Renee got chopped?” Skye eased herself back against her pillows and eyed Charlie with a mix of thanks and respect. She patted the lavender shoe that hung from her lamp. For a moment she looked like she was homesick too.
Charlie smiled back shyly.
“Big picture, Allie J.” Skye extended her graceful arms, palms up. “Boy you met yesterday.” She raised her left hand to shoulder level. “Or dream you’ve had since you were in vitro.”
Charlie snickered. You mean in utero, she wanted to say but didn’t dare. Besides, she had respect for Skye and her newfound priorities. Charlie had never imagined the girl who used boys’ lips to blot her lip gloss would lead the charge away from them. But here she was, holding Allie J back like a sports bra.
“Why can’t we have both?” Allie J countered.
A nauseating wave of déjà vu flooded Charlie and she fell back against her comforter. After all, she’d just been confronted with the same choice yesterday and had regretted her decision ever since.
“Because both isn’t an option right now, okay?” Skye snapped. “We all have to make sacrifices for the things we want most. Believe me, I don’t like it either.” She switched off her light and turned onto her side.
Something about what Skye said must have resonated with Allie J too, because she released a defeated sigh and climbed into her bed. “I guess.”
“Smart choice,” Thalia called from downstairs. Charlie had forgotten about her exceptional hearing. “As the Dalai Lama says, ‘Sleep is the best meditation.’” And with that, the overhead lights flicked off.
Charlie sighed with relief and climbed under her covers. One by one, the girls’ breathing slowed and steadied. Skye released a purr-snore, and Triple covered herself to the eyebrows with her comforter.
Charlie flipped onto her side and saw two green catlike eyes glaring at her in the darkness.
“I’m watching you,” Allie J whispered. And then she rolled over.
Charlie began to sweat, and her nightgown adjusted by auto-rolling up the sleeves and shortening the hem. The dwindling tank made her think of how she acted around Shira, shrinking into herself so she wouldn’t get in the way.
Well, it was time for all that to change. Time to show Shira she was more than a spy for hire. Time to show her roommates she could be trusted. And time to show Darwin that she was doing it all for him.