PART IX
LIFE WITH MAX
I
Our honeymoon took us to Dubrovnik, and from there to Split. Split I have never forgotten. We were wandering round the place in the evening, from our hotel, when we came round the corner into one of the squares, and there, looming up to the sky, was the figure of St Gregory of Nin, one of the finest works of the sculptor Mestrovic. It towered over everything, one of those things that stand out in your memory as a permanent landmark.
We had enormous fun with the menus there. They were written in Yugoslavian, and of course we had no idea what they meant. We used to point to some entry and then wait with some anxiety to see what would be delivered. Sometimes it was a colossal dish of chicken, on another occasion poached eggs in a highly seasoned white sauce, another time again a sort of super-goulash. All the helpings were enormous, and none of the restaurants ever wished you to pay the bill. The waiter would murmur in broken French or English or Italian: a€?Not tonight, not tonight. You can come in and pay tomorrow.a€I dona€?t know what happened when people had meals for a week without paying and then went off on a boat. Certainly on the last morning when we did go to pay we had the utmost difficulty in getting our favourite restaurant to accept the money. a€?Ah, you can do it later,a€they said. a€?But,a€we explained, or tried to explain, a€?we cannot do it later, because we are going off by boat at twelve oa€?clock.a€The little waiter sighed sadly at the prospect of having to do some arithmetic. He retired to a cubicle, scratched his head, used several pencils in turn, groaned, and after about five minutes brought us what seemed a very reasonable account for the enormous amounts we had eaten. Then he wished us good luck and we departed.
The next stage of our journey was down the Dalmatian coast and along the coast of Greece to Patras. It was just a little cargo boat, Max explained. We stood on the quay waiting for its arrival, and became a little anxious. Then we suddenly saw a boat so minutea€“such a cockleshella€“that we could hardly believe it was what we were waiting for. It had an unusual name, composed entirely of consonantsa€“Srbna€“how it was pronounced we never learnt. But this was the boat sure enough. There were four passengers on boarda€“ourselves in one cabin and two others in a second. They left at the next port, so we then had the boat to ourselves.
Never have I tasted such food as we had on that boat: delicious lamb, very tender, in little cutlets, succulent vegetables, rice, sumptuous sauce, and savoury things on skewers. We chatted to the captain in broken Italian. a€?You like the food?a€he said. a€?I am glad. I have English food I ordered. It is very English food for you.a€I sincerely hoped he would never come to England, in case he discovered what English food was really like. He said that he had been offered promotion to a bigger passenger boat, but he preferred to stay on this one because he had a good cook here, and he enjoyed his peaceful life: he was not worried by passengers. a€?Being on a boat with passengers is having trouble all the time,a€he explained. a€?So I prefer not to be promoted.a€?
We had a happy few days on that little Serbian boat. We stopped at various portsa€“Santa Anna, Santa Maura, Santi Quaranta. We would go ashore and the captain would explain that he would blow the funnel half an hour before he was due to depart again. So, as we wandered through olive groves or sat among the flowers, we would suddenly hear the shipa€?s funnel, turn round and hurry back to the ship. How lovely it was, sitting in those olive groves, feeling so completely peaceful and happy together. It was a Garden of Eden, a Paradise on earth.
We arrived at last at Patras, bade cheerful farewells to the Captain, and got into a funny little train which was to take us to Olympia. It not only took us as passengers, it took a great many more bed-bugs. This time they got up the legs of the trousers I was wearing. The following day I had to slit the cloth because my legs were so swollen.
Greece needs no description. Olympia was as lovely as I thought it would be. The next day we went on mules to Andritsenaa€“and that, I must say, very nearly tore the fabric of our married life.
With no previous training in mule-back riding, a fourteen hoursa€journey resulted in such agony as is hardly to be believed! I got to a stage when I didna€?t know if it would be more painful to walk or to sit on the mule. When we finally arrived, I fell off the mule, so stiff that I could not walk, and I reproached Max, saying: a€?You are really not fit to marry anybody if you dona€?t know what someone feels after a journey like this!a€?
Actually, Max was quite stiff and in pain himself. Explanations that the journey ought not to have taken more than eight hours by his calculations were not well received. It took me seven or eight years to realise that his estimates of journeys were always to prove vastly lower than they proved to be in reality, so that one immediately added a third at least to his prognostication.
We took two days to recover at Andritsena. Then I admitted that I was not sorry to have married him after all, and that perhaps he could learn the proper way to treat a wifea€“by not taking her on mule rides until he had carefully calculated the distance. We proceeded on a rather more cautious mule ride of not more than five hours, to the Temple of Bassae, and that I did not find exhausting at all.
We went to Mycenae, to Epidaurus, and we stayed in what seemed the Royal Suite in a hotel at Naupliaa€“it had red velvet hangings and an enormous four-poster with gold brocaded curtains. We had breakfast on a slightly insecure but ornamented balcony, looking out towards an island in the sea, and then went down to bathe, rather doubtfully, among large quantities of jelly-fish.
Epidaurus seemed particularly beautiful to me, but it was there really that I ran up against the archaeological character for the first time. It was a heavenly day, and I climbed up to the top of the theatre and sat there, having left Max in the museum looking at an inscription. A long time passed and he did not come to join me. Finally I got impatient, came down again, and went into the museum. Max was still lying flat on his face on the floor, pursuing his inscription with complete delight.
a€?Are you still reading that thing?a€I asked.
a€?Yes, rather an unusual one,a€he said. a€?Look herea€“shall I explain it to you?a€?
a€?I dona€?t think so,a€I said firmly. a€?Ita€?s lovely outsidea€“absolutely beautiful.a€?
a€?Yes, Ia€?m sure it is,a€said Max absently.
a€?Would you mind,a€I said, a€?if I went back outside?a€?
a€?Oh no,a€said Max, slightly surprised, a€?thata€?s quite all right. I just thought you might find this inscription interesting.a€?
a€?I dona€?t think I should find it as interesting as all that,a€I said, and went back to my seat at the top of the theatre. Max rejoined me about an hour later, very happy, having deciphered one particular obscure Greek phrase which, as far as he was concerned, had made his day.
Delphi was the highlight, though. It struck me as so unbelievably beautiful that we went round trying to select a site where we might build a little house one day. We marked out three, I remember. It was a nice dream: I dona€?t know that we believed in it ourselves even at the time. When I went there a year or two ago and saw the great buses travelling up and down, and the cafes, the souvenirs, and the tourists, how glad I was that we had not built our house there.
We were always choosing sites for houses. This was mainly owing to me, houses having always been my passiona€“there was indeed a moment in my life, not long before the outbreak of the second war, when I was the proud owner of eight houses. I had become addicted to finding broken-down, slummy houses in London and making structural alterations, decorating and furnishing them. When the second war came and I had to pay war damage insurance on all these houses, it was not so funny. However, in the end they all showed a good profit when I sold them. It had been an enjoyable hobby while it lasteda€“and I am always interested to walk past one of a€?mya€houses, to see how they are being kept up, and to guess the sort of person who is living in them now.
On the last day we walked down from Delphi to the sea at Itea below. A Greek came with us to show us the way, and Max talked to him. Max has a very inquiring mind, and always has to ask a lot of questions of any native who is with him. On this occasion he was asking our guide the names of various flowers. Our charming Greek was only too anxious to oblige. Max would point out a flower and he would say the name, then Max would carefully write it down in his notebook. After he had written down about twenty-five specimens he noticed that there was a certain amount of repetition. He repeated the Greek name which was now being given him for a blue flower with spiky thorns on it, and recognised it as the same name as had been used for one of the first flowers, a large yellow marigold. It then dawned upon us that, in his anxiety to please, the Greek was merely telling us the names of as many flowers as he knew. As he did not know many he was beginning to repeat them for each new flower. With some disgust Max realised that his careful list of wild flowers was completely useless.
We ended up at Athens, and there, with separation only four or five days ahead of us, disaster struck the happy inhabitants of Eden. I went down with what I took at first to be one of the ordinary tummy complaints that often strike one in the Middle East, known as Gyppy Tummy, Baghdad Tummy, Teheran Tummy, and so on. This I took to be Athens Tummya€“but it proved to be worse than that.
I got up after a few days, but when driving out on an excursion I felt so ill that I had to be driven straight back again. I found I had quite a high fever, and in the end, after many protests on my part, and when all other remedies had failed, we got hold of a doctor. Only a Greek doctor was obtainable. He spoke French, and I soon learnt that, though my French was socially adequate, I did not know any medical terms.
The doctor attributed my downfall to the heads of red mullet, in which, according to him, there lurked great danger, especially for strangers who were not used to dissecting this fish in the proper way. He told me a gruesome tale about a cabinet minister who suffered from this to the point almost of death and only made a last moment recovery. I certainly felt ill enough to die at any minute! I went on having a temperature of 105 and being unable to keep anything down. However, my doctor succeeded in the end. Suddenly I lay there feeling human once more. The thought of eating was horrible, and I did not feel I ever wanted to move againa€“but I was on the mend and knew it. I assured Max that he would be able to get off the following day.
a€?Ita€?s awful. How can I leave you, dear?a€?
Our trouble was that Max had been entrusted with the responsibility of reaching Ur in time to build on various additions to the burnt-brick expedition house so as to be ready for the Woolleys and the other members of the expedition when they arrived in a fortnighta€?s time. He was to build a new dining-room and a new bathroom for Katharine.
a€?They will understand, Ia€?m sure,a€said Max. But he said it doubtfully, and I knew quite well that they wouldna€?t. I got terrifically worked up, and pointed out that they would lay dereliction of duty on Maxa€?s part on me. It became a point of honour with us both that Max should be there on time. I assured him that now I should be quite all right. I would lie there, quietly recovering for another week perhaps, and then go straight home by the Orient Express.
Poor Max was torn to bits. He, too, was invested with a terrific English sense of duty. It had been put to him firmly by Leonard Woolley: a€?I trust you, Max. You may be enjoying yourself and all that, but it is really serious that you should give me your word that you will be there on the right day and take charge.a€?
a€?You know what Len will say,a€I pointed out.
a€?But youa€?re really ill.a€?
a€?I know Ia€?m ill, but they wona€?t believe it. Theya€?ll think that Ia€?m just keeping you away, and I cana€?t have that. And if you go on arguing, my temperature will go up again and I really shall be very ill indeed.a€?
So, in the end, both of us feeling heroic, Max departed on the path of duty.
The one person who did not agree with any of this was the Greek doctor, who threw his hands up to Heaven and burst into torrents of indignant French. a€?Ah, yes, they are all alike, the English. I have known many of them, oh, so many of thema€“they are all the same. They have a devotion to their work, to their duty. What is work, what is duty, compared with human beingsA wife is a human being, is she notA wife is ill, and she is a human being, and that is what matters. That is all that mattersa€“a human being in distress!a€?
a€?You dona€?t understand,a€I said. a€?This is really important. He gave his word he would be there. He has a heavy responsibility.a€?
a€?Ah, what is responsibilityWhat is work, what is dutyDutyIt is nothing, duty, to affection. But Englishmen are like that. Ah, what coldness, what froideur. What horror to be married to an Englishman! I would not wish that on any womana€“no indeed, I would not!a€?
I was much too limp to argue more, but I assured him that I should get on all right.
a€?You will have to be very careful,a€he warned me. a€?But it is no good saying things like that. This cabinet minister of whom I tell youa€“do you know how long it was before he returned to dutyA whole month.a€?
I was not impressed. I told him that English stomachs were not like that. English stomachs, I assured him, recovered very quickly. The doctor threw up his hands once again, vociferated more French, and departed, more or less washing his hands of me. If I felt like it, he said, I could at any time have a small plate of plain boiled macaroni. I didna€?t want anything. Least of all did I want plain boiled macaroni. I lay like a log in my green wall-papered bedroom, feeling sick as a cat, painful round the waist and stomach, and so weak that I hated to move an arm. I sent for plain boiled macaroni. I ate about three winding strings of it, and then put it aside. It seemed to me impossible that I should ever fancy eating again.
I thought of Max. He would have arrived at Beirut by now. The following day he would be starting by Nairn convoy across the desert. Poor Max, he would be worried about me.
Fortunately I was no longer worried about myself. In fact I felt stirring in me a determination to do something or get somewhere. I ate more plain boiled macaroni; progressed to having a little grated cheese on it; and walked three times round the room each morning to get back some strength into my legs. I told the doctor I was much better when he arrived.
a€?That is good. Yes, you are better, I see.a€?
a€?In fact,a€I said, a€?I shall be able to go home the day after tomorrow.a€do not talk such folly. I tell you, the cabinet ministera€“a€?
I was getting very tired of the cabinet minister. I summoned the hotel clerk and made him book me a seat on the Orient Express in three daysa€time. I did not break my intention to the doctor until the night before I left. Then his hands went up again. He accused me of ingratitude, of foolhardiness, and warned that I would probably be taken off the train en route and die on a railway platform. I knew quite well it was not as bad as that. English stomachs, I said again, recover quickly.
In due course, I left. My tottering footsteps were supported by the hotel porter into the train. I collapsed in my bunk, and more or less remained there. Occasionally I got them to bring me some hot soup from the dining-car, but as it was usually greasy I did not fancy it. All this abstention would have been good for my figure a few years later, but at that time I was still slender, and at the end of my journey home I looked like a mass of bones. It was wonderful to get back and to flop into my own bed. All the same, it took me nearly a month to recover my old health and spirits.
Max had reached Ur safely, though with tremendous trepidation about me, dispatching various telegrams en route, and waiting for the telegrams from me to arrive, which they never did. He put such energy into the work that he did far more than the Woolleys had expected.
a€?Ia€?11 show them,a€he said. He built Katharinea€?s bathroom entirely to his own specifications, as small and cramped as possible, and added such other embellishments to it and the dining-room as he thought fit.
a€?But we didna€?t mean you to do all this,a€Katharine exclaimed, when they arrived.
a€?I thought I had better get on with it as I was here,a€said Max grimly. He explained that he had left me at deatha€?s door in Athens.
a€?You should have stayed with her,a€said Katharine.
a€?I think probably I should,a€said Max. a€?But you both impressed on me how important this work was.a€?
Katharine took it out of Len by telling him that the bathroom was not at all to her liking and would have to be taken down and rebuilta€“and this was done, at considerable inconvenience. Later, however, she congratulated Max on the superior design of the living-room, and said what a difference it had made to her.
At my present age I have learnt pretty well how to deal with temperamental people of all kindsa€“actors, producers, architects, musicians, and natural prima donnas such as Katharine Woolley. Maxa€?s mother was what I should call a prima donna in her own right. My own mother came near to being one: she could work herself into terrific states, but had invariably forgotten all about them by the next day. a€?But you seemed so desperate!a€I would say to her. a€?Desperate?a€said my mother, highly surprised. a€?Was IDid I sound like that?a€?
Several of our acting friends can throw a temperament as well as anyone. When Charles Laughton was playing Hercule Poirot in Alibi, and sipping ice-cream sodas with me during a break in rehearsal, he explained his method. a€?Ita€?s a good thing to pretend to have a temperament, even if you havena€?t. I find it very helpful. People will say, a€?Dona€?t leta€?s do anything to annoy him. You know how he throws temperaments.a€?a€?
a€?Ita€?s tiring sometimes,a€he added, a€?especially if you dona€?t happen to want to. But it pays. It pays every time.a€?