CHAPTER FORTY
Angelique:
Day faded into night and then back into day. I dona€?t know how long any of us slept. At some point, Isabelle came out of her room and curled up on the sofa next to Chaz. I knew my time here was limited, this false sense of safety would expire. I just didna€?t know when. Russ was a ticking bomb now. At any point in time he would turn me over to Neville, or worse: to Nevillea€?s Nine-Timer boss, some high-level government official, and their interrogation would start. I wouldna€?t be able to hold out. I didna€?t have their advantage. I couldna€?t download into another clone when things got rough.
I got a few things together, and then realized how tired I really was. I paused for a few minutes to drink another cup of coffee, trying to clear the last bit of Newbie confusion from my head. That was when Chaz woke up.
There was a split second when I wondered if I should tell him everything. But my split second didna€?t last long enough.
Because that was when the war started inside me. A torrent of voices trying to drown me out. All of a sudden I couldna€?t think and my skull felt like it would crack down the middle, like I had been struck by lightning.
I moaned, or at least I think I did.
I could feel the struggle between my past personalities, all of my previous hopes and dreams, drowning in the deluge, washing out to sea.
You cana€?t tell him what happened, hea€?ll turn you ina€”
You have to run, now, before Russ comesa€”
You cana€?t run, you wona€?t survive without Chaz, you have to tell hima€”
He said my name then, my new name, and I felt an overwhelming peace, something I couldna€?t explain or define. The horrid internal battle began to subside. It was temporary, I knew. I still had to leave, even if it meant ripping my soul in half. Even if it meant part of me would be destroyed in the process.
But for now, this one moment was heavenly.