Trygve grinned at her for the first time all night, looking very boyish and very Nordic with his big blue eyes and blond lashes. “These are Nick's jeans, and Bjorn's shirt. God only knows whose shoes. I don't think they're mine. I found them in the garage. I was about to drive here barefoot.”
She nodded, knowing only too well what he had felt when he heard the news. She couldn't bear to think of it, and she still had to tell Brad, yet another nightmare to survive. If only she could tell him that Allyson was still alive, and there was some hope. But it was unlikely they would know by the time she reached him.
“I was just thinking about Bjorn,” Trygve said softly, as he leaned back in his chair with a thoughtful look. “It was awful when they first told us. Dana hated everyone and everything, mostly me, because she didn't know who else to hate. And Bjorn, too, at first. She just couldn't accept that we hadn't had a perfect baby. She talked about him being a vegetable, and painted a grisly picture of what the future would be like. She wanted to put him in an institution.”
“Why didn't you?” She was intrigued, and felt she could ask him anything. She knew Brad would have balked at accepting a child who wasn't normal.
“I don't believe in that. Maybe it's the Norwegian upbringing, or just me. I don't think you walk away from things because they're difficult. I never have anyway,” he smiled ruefully again, thinking of his twenty years in a bad marriage, “though I probably should have in some cases. But that's part of life to me, old people, kids, people with infirmities, people with limitations. This is not a perfect world, and it's not fair to expect that. I don't know, I just thought we ought to make the best of it. Dana said she wanted no part of it, so it became my mission to help Bjorn. And actually, we were very lucky. He isn't as severe as some. He's limited, but he has a lot of capabilities too. He's very gifted with carpentry, he's artistic in a childlike way, he loves people, he's incredibly affectionate, he's very loyal, he's a great cook, he's got a good sense of humor, he's responsible, to a point, and he's even learning to drive a car now. But he'll never be like Nick, or you, or me. He'll never go to college, or run a bank, or be a doctor. He's Bjorn, and he's good at what he can do … he loves sports, and kids, and people. And maybe he'll have a good life in spite of his limitations. I certainly hope so.”
“You've given him a lot,” Page said softly. “He's a lucky man.” He wanted to tell her he thought Brad was too. From what he'd seen that night, he thought she was a remarkable woman. She had taken a blow that would have shattered most people on the spot, and she was weathering it, and helping him, and still managing to think about everyone else, her husband, her son, even the Chapmans.
“He deserves it, Page. Bjorn is a great guy. I can't even bear to think of what his life might have been like in an institution. Maybe he'd never have grown to this point, or maybe he would have. I don't know. He buys our groceries, you know, and he's very proud of it. Sometimes, I can rely on him more than I can on Chloe.” They both smiled at that, teenage girls definitely had their own sets of limitations.
“Doesn't it make you angry sometimes, wishing he would have been more?”
“He never could have, Page. This was the very best he could be. Maybe it's easier that way. All I am is proud.” They both knew it would be different if Allyson were seriously brain damaged, after all she had been.
“I just keep asking myself how you adjust to it. Maybe you have to throw away all the old measuring sticks, and start all over again, grateful for every step, every word, every tiny bit of growth and accomplishment …but how do you forget? How do you forget what she was, and learn to accept so little?”
“I don't know,” he said sadly, unable to even fathom it. “Maybe you just have to be grateful she's alive, and take it from there,” he said, as she nodded her head, realizing how lucky she'd be if Allyson lived through it.
“I guess I'm not even there yet.”
It was almost eight in the morning by then, and Page decided to call one of Brad's associates, to see if she could locate him in Cleveland.
With apologies, she woke Dan Ballantine and his wife, and explained briefly to Dan what had happened. She said that Brad was planning to play golf with the president of the company in Cleveland that day and if Dan had no clues as to what hotel he'd used, maybe he could call the president and leave a message with him for Brad to call her. It was a roundabout way to get hold of Brad, but it was the best she could think of. And Dan promised to get on it right away, and leave the number at Marin General for Brad without saying too much to frighten him. Dan told her too how sorry he was about the accident, and hoped Allie'd be okay.