A Touch Mortal

Chapter 3





He’s kissing a dead girl. Gabriel dove again as a wave crashed against his back, letting the momentum carry him a few feet closer to the shore. On the beach, Eden and Az were on a blanket, tangled around each other. You have to tell him, Gabriel thought.

“But she’s not dead yet,” he grated out in a harsh whisper.

Even now her laughter mixed with the crash of the ocean. He twisted sideways as another swell pounded past and she waved at him as if she’d never been happier to be alive. Gabriel forced his hand up, rocked it once before letting it drop back to the water, and waded to shore.

Where is she hiding it? he thought. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting. Would she fade into skin and bones, die from the inside first? He had no clue what a girl was supposed to look like before she killed herself. She was going to sooner or later, of that much Gabriel was certain.

He dropped onto the blanket and toweled off. He should have told Az the second he’d gotten back from Upstairs. He’d put off checking her path too long anyway. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Az so happy, not having to struggle against the Fall. He couldn’t deny it had to do with Eden. And now it was all going to end.

Eden grinned. Her skin glistened with sunscreen, tan and healthier than she’d looked two weeks ago. Summer was almost gone.

“Gonna come with us?” she asked. “We’re getting something to eat.”

Gabriel shook his head.

She leaned toward him, her voice falling to a conspiratorial whisper. “We can check out the hot boys in the arcade?”

He couldn’t meet her eyes. Scoping out boys on the boardwalk, after Az had fallen asleep, even the stupid judge shows they hated to love. Everything would eventually be labeled “the last time.” He couldn’t bring himself to start counting down yet. Telling Az would be terrible enough. “I’m suffering from a lack of awesome today. Think I’ll sit out this time.”

Eden groaned in mock frustration, scooting away. “Ugh! You’re killing me, Gabe!” He startled before he could stop himself.

“Everything okay?” Az asked.

Gabriel forced himself to meet Az’s eyes.

“Can you give us a minute? I’ll text you when I’m on my way, okay?” He wasn’t sure what Az saw, what he gave away, but it was enough.

Az reached for her hand, led her a few steps away. From behind him, Gabriel heard the soft sound of their kiss, broken fragments of her concern for him.

Gabriel kept his head hung when Az dropped onto the blanket next to him, face hidden behind his blond curls. For once he was glad he’d let them shag out, though he’d spent the last month bitching about the lack of New York–quality stylists.

“What’s up?” Az asked, pulling up his knees, throwing an arm out behind him for balance.

Gabriel raised his head, staring off into the water, eyes focused far past the horizon. The knot of dread tightened in his stomach.

“I went Upstairs last night.” He turned toward Az as he spoke, watching for the reaction. A shiver passed across Az’s shoulders.

Az forced his face into a mask of nonchalance. “You didn’t mention you were going Upstairs.”

“Because it bothers you,” Gabriel said quietly.

Az scoffed. “You’re Bound. I’m not. I hardly think of that place at all.” His voice stayed casual, but the rest of him failed miserably. He blinked hard, as if it would be enough to hide the rusted tinge to his irises, the anger turning their color. His shoulders were rigid, his hands clenched into fists.

Gabriel turned back to the water. “Az, it’s about Eden.”

“No!” Az jumped to his feet. “This time is different! I can feel it, Gabriel. I don’t care what she was supposed to be doing.” People were staring, Frisbees falling forgotten. Gabriel felt sick. Az had never shown up on a mortal’s path. Every relationship he’d been in, he’d been crushed when the girl left him, going back to the path she was meant to be traveling. Only twice had they not. Luke had gotten to them first.

Gabriel bit his lip, hoping the pain would keep the tears unshed. He wouldn’t let that happen. “Az, it’s worse.” His vision blurred. “She’s…”

“What do you mean ‘worse’?”

“She has no path.” Gabriel said quietly. The words crackled in the air between them. Out on the water a gull screamed. The color drained from Az’s face, his shoulders dropping.

“You made a mistake, then,” Az said. “Just because she doesn’t have a path doesn’t mean—”

Gabriel cut him off with a shake of his head. “You know what it means.” He stayed silent as anguish flooded Az’s face.

“Eden’s not one of them. She’s not a Sider.” Az glared, no longer repressing the red flare in his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” It was all Gabriel could think of to say. He focused on the corner of the blanket, peeling it back. Underneath, the sand was cool and damp against his fingers.

“You knew,” Az spat. Gabriel looked up in surprise.

“No, Az. I swear.”

“So, what? We came all the way to f*cking Jersey to get away from your obsession with the Suiciders and you just happened to stumble on her?” He drew a breath, choked the words out between clenched teeth. “You pointed her out to me. Did you set me up?”

“I didn’t know. She was so sad. I thought you would cheer her up, but then…” His mouth dropped open as the realization hit him. “Oh, God. She was planning it out.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The night we met her, I caught her thoughts.” He swallowed hard. “It was like she was screaming for help. I figured she was just depressed but, Az, I think she was deciding to do it. To kill herself.”

“Maybe we just changed what was supposed to happen? So she was suicidal. She’s not now. We saved her.”

“If she was killing herself she’d still have a path. That’s a mortal death.” Gabriel glanced up. “Without a path, there’s nothing to change. Maybe we’ve delayed it, but it’s her fate, Az.”

Gabriel caught the change in Az’s eyes even before his breathing went shallow, was on his feet when the color of his eyes shifted to bruised purple. Only half Fallen, Az struggled to keep from going full. The prospect of losing Eden had tipped him, darkened his thoughts.

“Did I do this? Did I mess up her path?” Az stopped dead, his sudden stillness disconcerting.

Gabriel softened his voice. “Of course not. This isn’t your fault.” Az knew a Bound angel couldn’t lie, but when he looked up his eyes hadn’t lightened.

“What if me being with her took her off?”

“You can’t affect paths that way. It’s impossible.”

“A Sider.” Gabriel heard the change in Az’s voice. “She has no path.” He paused. “So I’m not taking her away from anything. That’s why she hasn’t left me. Right?”

Gabriel winced.

“And when she becomes a Sider, we can be together.”

Gabriel forced a deep breath, wishing the salty air would dry him out inside, make this hurt less. “This isn’t a good thing, Az.”

“Why not?” The ache in his voice was painful to hear. “I think I love her, Gabriel. I didn’t mean to. I know it puts her in danger, but I can’t lose her. She makes me happy.”

Gabriel managed a smile. “I know.” He hesitated, not wanting to set Az off again.

“Isn’t this what you’ve wanted?” Az asked. “To find a Sider that hadn’t gone through the change yet?”

Gabriel followed his lead, changing the subject. “Well, yes. But not Eden. I don’t want her to be a Sider at all.” He yanked his hand through his hair, the blond curls springing back into place. “They’re cursed.”

“You’re sure there’s no way to stop it?” Az asked. He turned, searching the boardwalk above for Eden.

“I don’t think so.” Gabriel rubbed his temples. The throbbing there was getting worse by the second. “What are we gonna do? We can’t do this by ourselves. The Bound don’t know about the Siders, so I can’t consult Upstairs.”

“Kristen?”

Gabriel’s mouth opened, a dozen protests clustering before he closed it. The idea wasn’t entirely bad. Still, Az’s reply had been more question than answer, and with good reason. Kristen was one of the first Suiciders. It wasn’t that she wouldn’t help; she owed him more favors than Az would ever know. The problem was, well, it was Kristen. Worse, she was the best option.

“I’ll head to the Bronx tomorrow. See what she says.”