A Summer to Remember

chapter 23





The next morning I woke up before Lily. I went straight to her bathroom to take a shower. I had a long night last night and I wasn’t ready to face the reality of it all just yet. I wasn’t sure where today was going to take me, but I had a lot of thinking to do before I made any decisions.

“How are you doing?” Lily asked as I walked out of the bathroom.

“Okay.” I sat next to her on the bed.

“He called again while you were in the shower.” I picked up my phone and saw I had seven missed calls from last night and one from this morning. All were from Adrian. A text message popped up on the screen.



Please call me. I miss you.



I set my phone back down on the nightstand. I bet I would have cried if I weren’t so worn out from all the crying I did last night.

“Are you going to at least call him?” Lily asked.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to deal with him yet.” I rubbed my hair with the towel. I was more confused then ever. First Sam and now the kiss with Jason, I had no idea what I was going to do.

“Have you guys ever talked about who you’ve dated?” I shook my head.

“Not really. He kinda knows about Jason, but that’s it.”

“You’ve never been curious?” she asked, sounding surprised.

“Well, I have been, but I just never brought it up.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know. I guess a part of me thought that if we didn’t talk about it, then I’d never have to accept the fact that he has dated other girls before me.” That sounded a lot better in my head than it did when I said it out loud.

“Okay, I guess I get that, but you know that’s not true. You’ve both dated other people before dating each other. We live in a small town. You could have run into one of his ex-girlfriends anywhere. You should at least know what to expect or who to expect. Let’s face it, Facebook stalking your boyfriend’s exes is always fun.” I laughed. That was true. Lily had always been good at Facebook stalking people, and it always made for a good source of entertainment when we didn’t have anything better to do.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“It’s not like he intentionally kept this girl a secret from you. You never asked.”

“True.” I picked up my phone and admired my screensaver, a picture of Adrian and me before our dinner at the Rooftop Terrace.

“So what are you going to do about what happened with Jason?” Lily asked delicately. “Are you going to tell Adrian?” I felt my stomach churning.

“I have to. If the situation were flipped, I’d want to know.” The thought of losing him sucked, but the thought of losing him and him possibly going back to Sam was unbearable.





After my discussion with Lily, I decided now would be a good time to sit down with Adrian and talk about our past relationships. I texted him and he agreed. We decided to meet at a steakhouse for dinner. It seemed like a good neutral zone for such a touchy subject.

I wasn’t stoked about the whole thing and I thought about backing out every five minutes, especially when I thought about the whole Jason fiasco, but I didn’t. When I walked in the front door, I saw Adrian sitting in a small booth across the room. I thought again about turning around and leaving, but he looked up and saw me standing near the hostess. A grin started to form on his face but stopped half way and he looked apologetic. I slid into the seat across from him.

“Listen, Ava, I’m really sor—”

“It’s okay.” I cut him off. “You don’t need to apologize. It’s not your fault she was there. I should have known we would eventually run into someone you had a past with.”

“I should’ve told you about her, though.” I could tell he was actually feeling guilty about not mentioning her before.

“I wish I would have known about her, but neither of us have brought up the subject of our exes. If I wanted to know, I should have asked.” I paused and took in a deep breath. “I have something I have to tell you.”

“Okay.” I could tell he was suddenly nervous, and that made me even more nervous.

“Last night after Lily came and picked me up, we went to a house party and Jason was there.” I took a second to get my bearings. “I made the mistake of having him show me where the drinks were and he kissed me.” Adrian stared at me with no expression. I couldn’t tell if he was mad or sad or what he was thinking. “As soon as I realized what was going on, I ran to Lily’s car and we left.” That wasn’t exactly how it went down, but I was feeling extremely guilty and the silence was killing me.

“Did you feel anything?” he asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean do you still have feelings for him?”

“Of course not. That’s why I ran out. Jason is safe and familiar, but he’s not what I want in my life. I need something new and unfamiliar and not so safe. I need you.” That wasn’t what I was expecting to say at all, but it was right, it was what I felt.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” That surprised me. “You’re not mad?”

“I’m kinda upset, of course. But I think that’s what you needed. I don’t think you had any closure when it came to Jason, and maybe that kiss is what you needed to realize what you really want in life.” I sighed with relief.

We took a minute to order our food and drinks. As he was giving his order, I took the time to praise myself for not walking away. I really thought this relationship could be something special. I knew it wouldn’t happen over night, and this had taught me that we still had a lot to learn about each other. If he was willing to work for it, so was I.

“So, I guess there’s no better time to have this talk than now,” I said after the waitress walked away.

“Are you sure you don’t want to wait until we get home?” he asked, looking around at the people sitting next to us.

“If we wait till we get home, then we’ll have all this tension over dinner and neither of us will be able to enjoy our meal. I’d rather just get it over with.” I wanted to make sure everything that was bugging me was done and over with after this dinner so I didn’t have to worry about it anymore.

“Okay, well, where should we start?” he asked.

“I don’t know. Who was your first serious girlfriend?”

“I dated a girl in high school, her name was Kim. We dated for about six months before she broke up with me because she thought I was too involved in football and didn’t pay enough attention to her. Which was true. I was working my ass off to get into Brant. There were a few girls before and after her, but they only stuck around for a few weeks, maybe a month or two at the most.” The waitress came over and set our two sodas and straws down on the table.

“Thank you,” I said to the waitress. “Do you still keep in touch with her?” I asked Adrian.

“Not really. She moved to Los Angeles after we graduated and hasn’t been back since.” He opened up his straw and put it in his drink.

“What about girls from Brant?” I took a sip of my soda.

“Same thing. They come and go. You’re the first serious relationship I’ve had since Kim.” It made me feel a little better hearing him say he’d only had one other serious girlfriend before me.

“Well, what about Sam?” My heart began to race. I didn’t want to ask, but I knew we had to lay it all out on the table before we could put it behind us.

“Sam and I met the summer going into my sophomore year at Brant during one of Shane’s parties. We hung out one night and then it sort of turned into a summer thing. At the end of the summer, she went to Florida, where she goes to school, and we continued on with our regular lives. When she’d come back again in the summer, we’d end up seeing each other and things just kind of picked up where they left off. Over Christmas break when she came back, I found out she was seeing one of my teammates behind my back and I freaked out. I couldn’t really get mad at her because we never considered ourselves official, but after that, things were never the same.” Knowing everything he just told me made me feel a little better, but it also made me sick to my stomach knowing they had so much history together.

“Then why did she seem so happy to see you?”

“She was drunk. After you left, I went into the kitchen to get a drink and I heard her telling her friends that after she found out I was with you, she decided she wanted to try and start things up with me again.” The waitress came to back to our table and brought our salads.

“Did you say anything to her?”

“I told her she was out of her mind and things between her and I could never work out. Even if you left me, I would never be able to be with someone like her again. I can’t see myself being with anyone other than you.” He reached across the table and grabbed my hand. “I love you, Ava, I really do, and I’ll do whatever it takes to get you to trust me.”

“I love you, too. Even if you’ll be leaving me in a few weeks.” The thought of him leaving always found a way to cross my mind.

“I really wish you would just come with me.” He rubbed the top of my hand with his thumb.

“I can’t. I’m already enrolled at Brant and I’m not ready for that yet. That is a big step to take and we’re still trying to work out this whole thing. I can’t just up and leave before we work out the kinks we have in our relationship. Moving is stressful and so is finding a job and new friends and a new school. It wouldn’t help our situation.”

“You’re right. I’m just really going to miss you.” He squeezed my hand.

“I’ll miss you, too. We just have to remember, if it’s meant to be, it’ll work itself out.” I was feeling more relieved after our conversation and more confident. This was right, for now. I was going to have to learn to trust Adrian more and enjoy what little time we had left.

“Then we don’t have anything to worry about.”