A Brand New Ending

Chapter 72

Phoenix.



Everything stops.

My heart.

My ability to breath.

The world.

I don't speak. I don't move. I don't think I could if I tried. All I can do is stare. Stare into the abyss of his eyes - deep pits of emeralds. They are the right shade. Nothing is different. Nothing is strange. For the first moment since I have woken up, I feel like everything is going to be OK. He continues to stare at me and I force my mouth into a tight smile. He doesn't return one. His eyes travel away from mine, ending on my fingers that are still wrapped around his arm.

I panic, his eyes shifting from soft to confused. I slowly lift one finger away at a time until our skin is no longer in contact. The electricity running through my body ripped abruptly away. I remain standing next to the bed, frozen in this space.

His eyes are now back on me because of my retreat. I wait for him to speak but it never comes. Every fiber of my body is in agony. Confusion. Desperation. He continues to stare at me, his direct line of sight burning a hole though my chest. The sound of an opening door fills the room.

"Braeden?" I hear a male voice say.

Braeden's eyes linger on me for a few more seconds before shifting.

"Dad?" he says through squinted eyes.

Dr. Harris comes around to the other side of the bed, pulling a small flashlight out of his doctor's coat.

"How are you feeling?" he asks as he checks him over. I can tell he is holding back his emotions, the doctor mode in him overtaking.

Braeden's full attention is on his father now. My body pounces into fight or flight, the latter taking over my body. I start to slink backwards, grabbing the curtain between my finger tips for support.

"Stay," I hear someone day, Neil looking up at me briefly as he continues to scan his son. How I wish it was Braeden uttering those words.

I stop where I am, needing and wanting to be here but I can feel my anxiety starting to rise, my throat feeling as though it's rapidly closing. All I can do is watch the rise and fall of his chest. Up. Down. Up. Down. It's the most mesmerizing thing I have ever witnessed. I hear sounds, which I assume is them conversing. Both of their voices are low. The world around me becomes blurry and I can't make out much that they are saying, except for one sentence.

"Who is she?" his voice whispers and it's like being stabbed in the heart with thousands of arrows. In that instant my knee's buckle and I grip onto the curtain again for balance.

"Phoenix?" Neil says, noticing my almost fall.

"I'm fine, I'm fi…" I say, my world spinning. "I just need some fresh air.”

With every ounce of energy I have left in my body I push myself around and out the door. I walk out into the busy hospital hallway, my head spinning. This can't be happening. Reaching over I pinch any exposed skin, my arms soon covered with large red spots.

"Wake up, dammit!" I cry out.

Everything was perfect. I was with Braeden. Braeden was with me. We were together. Happy. He doesn't know who you are. You're a stranger to him. You don't exist to him. How was I able to remember him? Pushing myself forward I roam the halls, numerous set of eyes watching me. I nervously walk up to a nurse's station.

"I need to go outside," I demand.

"Not without a nurse present," she tells me. "Let me get someone for you.”

She gets up from her desk and disappears behind the counter. When she comes back there is someone behind her. My heart drops instantly.

"Howdy!" her voice says, her tone pleasant.

I think I laugh out loud a little. Is this the f*cking twilight zone?

"I'm Chelsea," she says holding her hand out towards me. "You must be Phoenix. Let's go get you some fresh air." She smiles. "I'm sure you can use it.”

I don't respond but follow her until she stops just a few feet down the hallway, grabbing something from one of the dark rooms.

"Get in." She smiles.

She unfolds the wheel chair before me. Climbing in, she starts off at a fast pace, the wind blowing my hair backwards. I think I even let out a laugh. She is exactly how I remember her. But I don't really know her. When we get outside I inhale the fresh crisp air. As I do so, I feel pain radiate through my ribs.

"Ouch," I mumble.

"Oh, yeah," she says while she stops pushing. "Your ribs are bruised and your throat may hurt. We had to put a tube down there to pump out all of the water you swallowed.”

"Where do you wanna hang?" she asks.

I look around the courtyard, seeing a large tree way off.

"Over there," I point.

She pushes me further and the shade underneath its branches is breezy.

"I'll be back in a little bit to come get you."

"Don't you have to keep an eye on me?"

"I have a feeling you're not going anywhere," she winks.

It was like she could read my mind. As long as Braeden was here, I couldn't go anywhere. Even if he doesn't remember me.

"Will you stay?”I ask quietly, suddenly feeling like being alone was the last thing I wanted.

"Of course."

She walks around my chair and places her body next to mine on a nearby bench. We don't speak for a while. I peer off into the city, things moving at their usual rapid pace.

"Do you believe in soul mates?" I blurt out.

Chelsea's eyes are now on mine.

"Absolutely." She smiles. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason," I huff.

She places a hand atop on mine.

"I know you're still young sweetie, but when you find yours, it will be indescribable. Your soul mate is the one who makes life come to life.”

A chill runs down my spine.

"Can I ask you something else?”

"Of course.”

"Are you and Dr. Harris dating?”

Her eyes widen.

"No," she says shyly.

"You like him though?”

She gnaws on her lower lip and slowly nods.

"You should ask him out.”

"I can't," she starts. "I don't think he feels the same.”

I almost laugh but hold in my emotions.

"Just ask him. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.”

I can see her eyes lost in thought and we both fall silent.

~

Chelsea has to eventually leave and I beg for her to let me stay. The night sky begins to darken and my arms and legs become numb from the changing wind. When it becomes too dark I wheel myself back, thinking how stupid I feel in this thing when no one is pushing me. Ditching the wheel chair in a vacant corner I walk the rest of the way back to my room.

Our room.

My hand hovers over the door handle. I press my palm to the cool metal and push open. It's dark except for the light that the machines emit. I remain standing.

Listening.

Waiting.

The sound of a soft snore reaches my ears and I can't tell if it comforts me or scares me. This is real. He's real. I'm real. We are not real.

Finding my way to my bed I crawl in, pulling the covers up and over my head.

Maybe I can hide from this world.

I try to sleep but it never comes.

~

After flipping myself over a million times, I stare up at the ceiling trying to count the dots on the ceiling from memory. I let my eyelids drift close. I inhale through my nose. I try to keep my mind off the boy on the other side of the curtain. The boy who still owns my heart.

"F*ck," I mutter to myself, my eyes flying back open.

My body jumps at the sight hanging over me.

"You scared me," I utter out loud, my eyes fixated on his.

Braeden's form is standing over my bed. He doesn't move, not even to blink.

Maybe it's just a vision.

I don't move. I watch his hand move out towards me and I inhale, waiting for it. Waiting for contact. He watches his fingers move closer to my skin, almost as though it's not really him doing it. My body pleads for his touch.

"Something seems so real. Familiar," he whispers, his eyes back to their confused state.

"I am real," I answer, my voice shaky. "You know it. You have to remember.”

He still hovers.

"Touch me," I implore.

The gaps between our bodies close as he drags the tip of his fingers across the skin on the back of my hand. My body is instantly in a state of calm, almost like a drug addict finally getting a fix. His eyes remain on our hands, watching his every movement. My eyes linger on his face. I watch as every emotion is displayed on his face. His jaw tightening then relaxing.

Please remember. I can't be crazy.

His fingers travel along my arm and across my throat, finding their way to my face. He touches it all over, much like a blind person would. I slide up and lean closer, pushing my face into his hands. I close my eyes, taking in everything, my heart beating so fast that I feel I might pass out. His touch is still light, just like I always remembered. His movements stop. I fly open my eyes and his face is mere inches from mine. I look deep into his eyes. He does the same to me. Something washes over me. Maybe it was courage. Fear. Desperation. I couldn't tell you.

Leaning forward, I place my lips gently on his, holding back the passion flowing through my body. He pulls back slightly. At first only my lips move against his, his hand delicately placed against my shoulder. After a few seconds I feel his lips part ever so slightly, his hand traveling up to the side of my face, his palm resting on my cheek. Then I let all my inhibitions go, this kiss everything that I remember. Then everything stops. His body frozen. My body begins to shake, waiting for him to retreat. Runaway. But instead his other hand comes out from his side, it lying on my opposite cheek.

"Seraph?" he whispers.

And just like that, I can't hold back the tears any longer. All I can do is nod excessively, tears running down my cheeks. He reaches down and takes me in his arms, lifting my whole body off the bed and into his arms. We both don't speak for a long time, his arms around me saying enough. When we pull back I see tears streaming down his face.

"I thought I lost you," I say through the tears, placing small kisses on his face.

"I'm so sorry to have done that to you," he says softly.

"It doesn't matter now," I say into his chest.

I wait for inevitable questions. I wait for him to become confused. For him to ask me why we are here. But they never come.

~

We both lay in my bed together, my tiny form curled inside his arms. We don't take our eyes off each other. I feel warm. Safe. What I always feel when I am with him.

I watch him twirl a piece of my hair around his fingertips.

"I think I would miss you even if we never met," he whispers.

My heart slams against my ribcage.

"Let's get out of here," he says just above a whisper. I don't know how to respond. "Just you and me."

"What about your father? Your life here?"

"None of that matters. I can never be without you again. If you were the air I breathed, I would not exhale for fear of losing you."

He leans over and places a kiss on my lips.

"I know how to get out of here without being caught." He smiles. The most beautiful of smiles.

Still in our hospital robes we leave the room, our hands intertwined. No one stops us. When we reach the outdoors I inhale the crisp air, it almost stinging my lungs.

"Where to?" he asks. "North?"

He winks at me. He remembers.

Wherever you are is where I want to be," I say with a crooked smile.