A Brand New Ending

Chapter 34

Phoenix



Home?

Where is home?

My body was in a state of bliss after that kiss and I silently curse the nurse out for interrupting. The idea of leaving this hospital scares me. Almost the entire time I have known Braeden, I've always been confined to some sort of hospital room. Would he still want me when we leave here? Will I still be the same person? Would he? This thing between us is was different. But how well do we really know each other? A million things start to run through my mind, sending me into a silent panic attack. I feel Braeden's hand slip into mine, almost as though he can sense my uneasiness. I give it a light squeeze and a probably not-so-convincing smile.

"Oh, and Miss Harper, Dr. Harris would like to speak to you in his office whenever you are ready."

Braeden shoots me a glance, probably trying to gauge my reaction. I'm assuming this is about what he and his father discussed earlier.

"OK," I respond.

When she leaves again, Braeden and I return to our bubble. I shift in my bed, swinging my legs over until they reach the coldness of the tiled floor.

"Are you OK?" he asks, a concerned look on his face.

I can't help but smirk. He is always so worried.

"You're going to have a heart attack at such a young age if worry about me all the time."

He clutches his chest.

"I might have already experienced one." He laughs.

My smile falls from my face. Braeden's hand comes up to my face, his thumb rubbing over my cheek bone.

"Don't frown, Phoenix," he says softly. "I love it when you smile."

And just like that I am happy again.

"Well, I'm going to go take a shower," I say softly. "And then go see your father."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

I begin to panic and I hear Braeden laugh.

"To my father's office." He laughs. "Not to the shower."

"Oh," I respond. "I think I want to go alone, is that OK?"

"Of course, my Seraph," he utters.

My heart begins to race for the millionth time since I have met him.

"What did you just call me?" I ask softly.

"Seraph." He smiles. "It's another word for angel."

"Oh," I say, feeling the burn in my cheeks.

"Too soon?" he asks hesitantly.

I shake my head.

"No, I like the way it sounds."

"Me too." He smiles.

Shutting the bathroom door behind me, I lean against it and let my heart come down to its normal rhythm. Did he just call me his angel? I reach up and pull on my lip with my finger and get lost in thought. When I am finally able to peel myself off the door, I reach up and pull off my hospital gown, running my fingers over the bandages wrapped around my upper body. Reaching my fingers up slowly I start to unravel them, the black-and-blue skin unveiled. I run my fingers over the delicate skin and wince slightly. But something inside me changes. I am pretty used to seeing cuts and bruises on my body so often that I hardly notice them, but this time is different. They are there because he saved my life.

He came after me. I still feel like I may wake up from this dream at any moment. Or was it a nightmare? The butterflies in my stomach start to dance just thinking about him. And that feeling scares me sometimes. I had never been in a relationship before and I fear that I might not be what he needs. What if he wants something that I can't give him? What every man needs.

I grip the counter of the sink, the walls around me becoming blurry, tingling sensations running through my body. Using the sink as support I lower myself onto the toilet lid and concentrate on breathing in and out of my nose. I fight to have this feeling leave my body, not wanting to be crippled by it anymore. I am safe now. Peeling myself off the toilet, I walk over to the shower knobs, my knees still feeling a bit weak. Turning on the shower I step inside, the hot water feeling incredible. It's been the first time I have been able to take a shower by myself, the past few times have been observed by a nurse. I grab the bottle of shampoo and I stick my nose up at the smell. It's so…medicinal. Squirting some into my palm, I go to reach up to put it in my hair, the pain radiating through my body.

"F*ck," I say loudly, clasping my mouth shut.

Within seconds I hear a knock on the door. The figure doesn't have to speak for me to know who it is.

"I'm fine," I say out loud.

"Are you sure?" he asks.

I laugh to myself.

"Yes, I promise," I shout out.

I stand there for a few more seconds until I don't hear anything and resume my washing. Slowly. I don't know how long I am in the shower, but when I look down my fingers are pruney, a sign that it has probably been too long. Stepping out, I wrap a towel around me, still telling myself to move slowly. I hear a knock on the door again and I roll my eyes.

"I'm fine, Braeden," I call out.

I hear a female laugh. "It's Chelsea."

Turning around I open the door open enough for her to slide in. Held in her hands are clothes and more wraps and tape. She works quickly and before I know it I feel like I am wearing a straight jacket again. Holding the clothes out to me I pick one up at a time and put them on, they are incredibly feminine. She must have noticed my confused state.

"Dr. Harris sent me out to pick some things up," she smiles.

My heart jolts. "Thank you," I say.

"Of course my dear," she responds.

There is a moment of silence.

"They are both pretty incredible, huh?" I ask.

A genuine smile comes across her face.

"I have known Dr. Harris and Braeden for quite a long time now. They are both very sweet men."

I can't help but smile too.

"And I know that you don't know me, but I just want you to know that Braeden does care about you. I've never seen him look at anyone like he looks at you."

I can feel the fire in my cheeks starting.

"Not since she was here," she says quietly.

Her.

"I bet she was beautiful," I utter, not really being able to stop the words from leaving my mouth.

"Beautiful doesn't even begin to describe her. She was an incredible human being, both inside and out," she explains. "A life lost too early."

I can hear the pain behind her words. It's like it's still an open wound when they all speak about her like that. When we finish up she opens the door and exits before looking back at me to smile. When I get through the door, I see the reason for the smile. Braeden is no longer in his hospital clothing. His body is now adorned in a white, long-sleeve, waffle-knit shirt and black skinny jeans. His body is slumped down in the chair, his eyes closed. He sleeps. We both sneak out of the room quietly, shutting the door behind us.

"I'll take you to Dr. Harris' office if you want," she says putting her hand on my back.

I just nod my head. After we go through a series of hallways and doors we arrive to at his office. She reaches up and knocks on the door slightly.

"Come in," I hear from the other side.

She pushes the door open and ushers me to enter. I spot Dr. Harris behind his desk but he immediately gets up and walks over to us.

"Thank you, Chelsea," he says to her.

"You're very welcome, Neil…I mean, Dr. Harris," she responds, a nervous look on her face.

I shift my eyes around, the room suddenly becoming uncomfortable. She gives me a small squeeze on my arm before leaving, shutting the door behind her. I look around his office, it very different than the one at the psychology office. There is nothing personal about this one, everything's so white and sterile. I look back over at him and he just smiles at me.

"So, how are you feeling?" he asks me.

"Good," I lie. I'm scared shitless. I'm pretty sure he doesn't believe me.

"So, as you can imagine I had the same discussion with Braeden, even though it's really none of his concern."

"I want Braeden to know everything, he's important to me."

"I think I'm beginning to gather that," he grins. "Now, I know that I have already mentioned that you are more than welcome to stay with me. But I want you to make that decision without the pressure of Braeden present."

I stand there silent for a few minutes, my mind racing in a million different directions.

"Okay," I say only above a whisper.

Dr. Harris nods. "I know that this is a tough time in your life right now, Phoenix, but things will get better. I can promise you that."

I start to gnaw on my lip. "I don't…have…anything," I say nervously. "I can't just live in your house and expect you to pay for everything."

"I was thinking that we could make a deal." He laughs lightly.

My heart begins to race.

"The hospital can always use volunteers."

"Uh, I don't have any hospital training," I explain.

His smile stays.

"I know that. I was thinking you could help with visiting patients. Move around items, deliver flowers."

I smile.

"You want me to be a candy stripper?" I ask.

"I don't think it's been called that for quite some time, but essentially yes."

"OK," I agree.

"And, as we discussed before, I think it would be in your best interest for you to continue to seek therapy."

I nod. He claps his hands together.

"And in return I will pay for anything you absolutely need. But anything more than that will have to get my easily persuaded son to buy." He laughs.

"I can get a job," I explain.

"Maybe someday Phoenix, but as of right now I want you to concentrate on getting things in your life in the order you want them in."

This overwhelming sensation to hug him flows through me but my muscles remain in their frozen state.

"I have no words to express how deeply appreciative I am, Dr. Harris," I utter.

He continues to smile and shakes his head.

"And that's one more condition…" he says.

I become confused.

"I am forbidding you from calling me Dr. Harris in my household. From now on it will only be Neil."

I fly my hands up to my mouth.

"Oh. Well…thank you, Neil."

"You're very welcome, my child," he responds.

I slowly make my way out of his office and when I get the door closed I find myself leaning against it, letting out the breath I didn't know I was holding in. I look up to see Braeden leaning over the counter talking to Chelsea, her hand on his shoulder, both of them laughing. I can't help but watch them, it making me smile in return.

A few moments later Braeden's eyes find mine, his smile widening. He says something to Chelsea and then makes his way towards me. I can smell him instantly, the woody aroma taking me back to my father's house. Home. When he reaches me he immediately runs his finger across my cheek and I don't recoil, surprised at myself.

"Are you OK?" he asks.

"I've never been better. Thanks to you," I say as I lean up on my tippy toes, placing a small kiss on his lips.