Chapter 14
During the next few days, Sarah and Miles spent all their free time together—not just on dates, but around the house as well. Jonah, instead of sorting through what it all meant, simply let his questions slide for the time being. In his room, he showed Sarah his collection of baseball cards, he talked about fishing and taught her how to cast a line. Occasionally he would surprise her by taking her hand as he led her off to show her something new.
Miles watched all of it from a distance, knowing that Jonah needed to figure out exactly where Sarah fit into his world and how he felt about her. It made it easier, he knew, that Sarah wasn’t a stranger. But he couldn’t hide his relief at seeing them get along so well.
On Halloween, they drove to the beach and spent the afternoon collecting seashells, then went trick-or-treating in the neighborhood. Jonah went around with a group of friends, Miles and Sarah trailing behind with other parents.
Brenda, of course, peppered Sarah with questions at school, once word had spread in town. Charlie, too, made mention of the news. “I love her, Charlie,” Miles said simply, and though Charlie, being from the old school, wondered whether everything had moved a little too quickly, nonetheless slapped Miles on the back and invited both of them to dinner.
As for Miles and Sarah, their relationship progressed with a dreamlike intensity. When they were apart, they hungered for the sight of each other; when they were together, they longed for more time. They met for lunch, they talked on the phone, they made love whenever they had a quiet moment together.
Despite Miles’s attention to Sarah, he also made sure to spend as much time alone with Jonah as he could. Sarah, too, did her best to keep things as normal as possible for Jonah. When she sat with him in the classroom after school, she made sure to treat him the same way she had before, as a student in need of help. If it seemed to Sarah that he sometimes paused in his work to watch her speculatively, she didn’t press him on it.
In mid-November, three weeks after they’d first made love, Sarah cut back the number of days that Jonah had to stay after school from three to one. For the most part, he was caught up; he was doing fine in reading and spelling, and though he needed a little more help with math, she figured one day a week ought to do it. That night, Miles and Sarah took him out for pizza as a sort of celebration.
Later, however, while tucking Jonah into bed, Miles noticed that his son seemed quieter than usual.
“Why the glum face, champ?”
“I’m feeling kind of sad.”
“Why?”
“Because,” he said simply, “I don’t have to stay after school as much anymore.”
“I thought you didn’t like staying after school.”
“I didn’t at first, but I kind of like it now.”
“You do?”
He nodded. “Miss Andrews makes me feel special.”
“He said that?”
Miles nodded. He and Sarah were sitting on the front steps, watching Jonah and Mark jump their bikes over a plywood ramp in the driveway. Sarah’s legs were drawn up close and she had her arms wrapped around them.
“Yes, he did.” Jonah went zipping by them, Mark right behind, onto the grass where they intended to circle around again. “To be honest, I’ve been wondering how he would handle our seeing each other, but he seems to be fine.”
“That’s good.”
“How’s he doing in school with this?”
“I really haven’t noticed much of a change. For the first few days, I think some of the other kids in class were asking him about it, but it seems to have died down some.”
Jonah and Mark raced by again, oblivious to their presence.
“Do you want to spend Thanksgiving with Jonah and me?” Miles asked. “I’ve got to work that night, but we can eat early, if you don’t have plans.”
“I can’t. My brother’s coming home from college and my mom is making a big dinner for all of us. She invited a bunch of people—aunts, uncles, cousins, and the grandparents. I don’t think she’d be too understanding if I told her to count me out.”
“No. I don’t guess she would.”
“She wants to meet you, though. She keeps bugging me to bring you over.”
“Why don’t you?”
“I didn’t think you were ready for that, just yet.” She winked. “Didn’t want to scare you off.”
“She can’t be that bad.”
“Don’t be so sure. But if you’re game, you can join us for Thanksgiving. That way we could spend it together.”
“You sure? It sounds like you have a full house already.”
“Are you kidding? A couple more won’t make any difference. And besides, that way you can meet the whole clan. Unless, ofcourse, you’re not ready for that yet, either.”
“I’m ready.”
“Then you’ll come?”
“Plan on it.”
“Good. But listen, if my mom starts asking some strange questions, just remember that I take after my father, okay?”
Later that night, with Jonah away at Mark’s again, Sarah followed Miles into the bedroom. This was a first: Up until now, they’d always stayed overnight at Sarah’s apartment, and the fact that they found themselves in the bed once shared by Missy and Miles wasn’t lost on either of them. When they made love, there was an urgency to it, an almost frantic passion that left both of them breathless. They didn’t speak much afterward; Sarah simply lay beside Miles with her head on his chest as he ran his hands gently through her hair.
Sarah had the sense that Miles wanted to be alone with his thoughts. As she gazed around the bedroom, she realized for the first time that they were surrounded by pictures of Missy, including one on the bedstand that she could reach out and touch.
Suddenly uneasy, she also spotted the manila file he’d mentioned before, the one filled with information he’d assembled after Missy died. It sat on the shelf, thick and well handled, and she found herself staring at it as her head rose and fell with every breath Miles took. Finally, when the silence between them began to feel oppressive, she slid her head onto the pillow to face him.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“I’m fine,” he said, not meeting her eyes.
“You’re kind of quiet.”
“Just thinking,” he murmured.
“Good things, I hope.”
“Only the best.” He traced his finger down her arm. “I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you, too.”
“Will you stay with me all night?”
“Do you want me to?”
“Very much.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”
Though still a little unsettled, she let him pull her close. He kissed her again, then held her until she finally fell asleep. In the morning, when she woke, it took her a moment to realize where she was. Miles ran his finger along her spine and she felt her body begin to respond.
There was something different about their lovemaking this time, something that more closely resembled their first time together, tender and unrushed. It wasn’t just the way he kissed and whispered to her, but rather the way he looked as he moved above her that spoke of how serious their relationship had become.
That, and the fact that sometime while she’d been sleeping, Miles had quietly removed the pictures and the manila file that had cast their shadow over them the night before.