Now look, I know these rules are meant to be followed, so you can choose to do all of that bureaucratic time-wasting nonsense with the forms… or… make things more efficient. Keep this between us and take a peek behind your office door. You’ll see a stray nail in the corner—leftover from when some past staffer took down a picture. Wait until everyone has left for the night and yank it out. Use the back of your stapler to bang it into the wall next to your desk, and hang that photo, homie! After all, your grandparents marched with Gandhi because they were idealistic. They weren’t rule followers.
Getting Down to Business
You’re not here to spend your time buying fridges and hanging pictures. It’s time to get to work. And even that follows a process in the Executive Branch.
Tip C: Work Email Is Not like Personal Email
Sure, you’ve had email before. But you’ve never had White House email. It’s important to keep in mind that all of your work email is considered a presidential record and will be archived for potential public release one day through something called the Presidential Records Act (PRA). Messages will fall under two general categories: those from within the Executive Branch and those from outside. Let’s start with outside first. As a federal employee, your email address isn’t that hard to figure out. You work for the Office of Public Engagement, and because a lot of good people pin their hopes and dreams on what’s happening at the White House, your in-box will be inundated daily. You’ll feel an obligation to respond to all the messages. Don’t try to do this or you’ll never get any proactive work done. Learn to triage and set up filters to sort the necessary emails from the nonessential.
When it comes to constituents whose organizations you’re working with, be sure to read between the lines of people’s email signatures. The more items somebody includes at the bottom of their email, the more accolades they announce, the more superlatives they advertise, the less legit they usually are. Sometimes this will be obvious; other times, the best sign that you’re dealing with a crazy person is how many pieces of flair they gifted themselves at the end of their message.
Here’s an example of a type of email you’ll get soon. You should take this one seriously:
From: Nicole River
Date: Thursday, July 23, 2009 5:25 PM
To: Kalpen Modi
Subject: DREAM Act
Mr. Modi:
Congratulations on your appointment as President Obama’s right-hand man for issues related to Young Americans! My name is Nicole River, and I run a nonprofit called Campus Forward. I left word for you earlier today. We’d previously been working with Paul Monteiro in your office. We’d love to have the opportunity to brief you on the work our 3 million members are doing nationwide around the DREAM Act and share with the president our vision for immigration reform. Looking forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Nicole
President, Campus Forward
Nicole seems like a good person. She is eager to help. Her note was professional, and she’s outlined the reach of her organization. You can easily google the great work she and her team do. They have a strong history and track record of working in politics. And heck, look at that signature line: “President, Campus Forward.” Concise. Not self-congratulatory. She’ll be effective to work with.
Now let’s look at a different type of email. Pay special attention to the signature:
From: Jonathan Middleton
Date: Thursday, July 23, 2009 5:25 PM
To: Kalpen Modi
Subject: URGENT! MR. MODI I HAVE LEFT SEVERAL VOICE MAILS URGENT REGAR…
DEAR MR. KALPEN MODI:
IT IS VERY URGENT FOR PRESIDENT OBAMA TO ACT IMMEDIATELY TO HELP YOUNG PEOPLE. I RUN AN ORGANIZATION BASED HERE IN VIRGINIA. WE HAVE ALWAYS MET WITH EACH PRESIDENT SINCE KENNEDY AND HAVE NOT HEARD ONE PEEP FROM THIS OBMAMA ADMINISTRATION. I HAVE LEFT SEVERAL URGENT VOICE MAILS AND HAVE NOT GOTTEN ANY CALLS BACK. THIS IS NO WAY TO ENGAGE FOR THE OFFICE OF PUBLIC EGNAGNEMENT. TIME IS TICKING MR KALPEN MODI. HAVE A HEART FOR ARE YOUTH
Sincerely,
Jonathan Middleton
—
Jonathan Middleton
Founder and President, Virginia Community Activists for Change that has 450+ members and impacted the lives of more than 3,000 youth to be community leaders in 45 counties
International Speaker, Boys and Girls Club (5 chapters!!)
Advisor, Young Leaders Association of Richmond (1998–present)
www.jonathanmiddletonrocks.com
Follow on Twitter @realjmiddletonrocks
*Motivational leadership for young people
*TTOP Speakers Bureau
*Teamwork and advisory council for parents
*Founder of Summit for Virginia/Maryland Youth (SVMY) Conference (12 states in attendance!!!)
WINNER: Southeastern Leadership Conference of the Greater Virginia Leaders of Tomorrow (SLCGVLT)
WINNER: Greater-DC Area Chamber of Public Service Impact Award
“Life isn’t about waiting for the hurricane to pass. It’s about learning to dance when it drizzles.” —Unknown
Even if you hadn’t read the body of Jonathan’s ridiculous email, the fact that the signature is longer than the rambling note itself tells you all you need to know. Emails from legit people will be confident and crisp. They don’t need to prove themselves with the girth of their email signature. (Yes, that’s a euphemism. I can make dick jokes again, but you shouldn’t. Not a great look for a White House staffer.)
Speaking of euphemisms and dick jokes, let’s discuss internal White House emails. You’ll often be looped into large-group email chains, many of which will require quick responses or dedicated decision-making throughout the day. Others are just for your situational awareness. One day, the National Security Council (NSC) will email you and eighty other staffers a memo with a list of talking points about an upcoming visit to the United States by a delegation of government officials from the Philippines. It’ll be your first NSC loop-in.
I want you to know that almost everything in government is an acronym, as you see in the last paragraph. When a name is introduced, it will be written out fully, with the acronym in parentheses—“The President of the United States (POTUS) is convening a meeting of the National Security Council (NSC) next week.” Subsequently, only the acronym is used—“The POTUS NSC meeting is at 4:30.”
The Filipino memo from the NSC will include several pages of talking points, but you’ll be super obsessed with item fourteen:
“One of the main terror groups in the Philippines is the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF).” Your hopes are confirmed by the next few bullets:
MILF is considered highly dangerous.
MILF has a long history of recruiting young men.
Many young men who join MILF come to regret their choice, as the novelty of life with MILF wears off.