Tom butted in. "Watch out, Woodville. My sister will pester you to death with questions, if you let her."
I shot him a bitter look. Beyond what was necessary for good manners, I had no intention of talking to Dr. Woodville about medicine or anything else. It would be too painful to discuss the world I was barred from, and besides, his apparent interest in me was making me feel uncomfortable.
Luckily Tom stood up and said, "Come along, old chap, let's have a smoke in the study."
After they'd gone, Mamma was quiet, lost in her own thoughts.
"Mamma?"
She continued to gaze at the salt cellar. "Such a nice young man, Dr. Woodville, don't you think?"
I shrugged. "He seems pleasant enough."
"He reminds me of your father when he was younger." She fixed her eyes on me. "You could make yourself agreeable to him."
"Mamma! Dr. Woodville isn't interested in me." But maybe he was..."Do you want to go to bed?" I asked abruptly.
As usual I helped her to undress and tucked her in, before scrambling into my own truckle bed in the corner. I had taken to sleeping in Mamma's room as, troubled by anxious thoughts, she often woke in the night. But as so often, I couldn't sleep. I felt stirred up: Woodville's gaze, Mamma's ridiculous suggestion— no, don't think about that. But other thoughts were worse: medicine, Vienna ... all the old longing re-awakened. It was no good—I had to put it from my mind.
Mamma was breathing deeply and I tried to relax and follow her into sleep. As I drifted off, the bittersweet image that kept haunting me arose in my mind—Grace smiling in her mysterious way, then her eyes meeting mine and her face changing as she turned away...
***
The next morning Tom took Dr. Woodville out after breakfast but before long he returned alone.
"What have you done with your friend?" Mamma asked.
"I showed him where the livery stables are. He wanted a ride out into the country."
"He's not chosen the best day for it."
Mamma was right—st was overcast and every now and then a fine rain spotted the windows.
"Oh, Woodville won't mind—he's keen to blow away the city smog."
"Didn't you want to go?"
Tom smiled. "I wanted to see you, Mamma." He pulled up a chair beside her and sat down. She turned to him with that fond look I remembered so well. No matter how long the intervals between his visits, she was always glad to see him. No matter how much care I took of her, she never looked at me like that.
Tom coughed and looked at me over Mamma's head—a significant look. What did he mean?
"Lou, could you ask Mary to bring me some barley water? You'd like some, wouldn't you, Mamma?"
Why didn't he ring the bell? Then I realised—he wanted to talk to Mamma alone. What was it that I couldn't hear? I was annoyed at being excluded. But at least Mamma was occupied and I seized my chance to read in peace.
After speaking to Mary, I fetched one of Papa's medical books—one that Tom hadn't wanted—and, taking it into the dining room, I stoked up the fire. Forcing thoughts of my visit to Carr Head out of my mind, I tried to concentrate on what I was reading.
***
A little later the door opened and Tom came in. I didn't try to hide my book, but he didn't comment. Pulling out another chair at the table, he sat down next to me and said abruptly, "I need to talk to you."
"If it's about William, you'll be disappointed."
He looked surprised, as if he'd forgotten his grand plan for uniting the family. "No, it's not about William."
"And Dr. Woodville—if he's another of your schemes..."
"Woodville? Well, yes, in a way it is about Woodville."
I regarded him suspiciously.
"The thing is, Lou, I've been thinking about what you said—about not being happy here and so on, and it's bothered me."
The turn of the conversation surprised me. It wasn't like Tom to be concerned for my welfare. I kept silent, wondering where all this was leading.
"It isn't fair that you have the burden of caring for Mamma..." I suddenly felt lightheaded. Tom had changed his mind. He was going to let me be a doctor. My insides fizzed with elation. "...so I've arranged something for you."
My elation faltered. "Arranged something?"
"Yes. Woodville has a sister, a little older than you, and their mother is keen to find a companion for her. I thought it would be just the thing for you."
I was speechless, incapable of movement.
Tom went on blithely, "They're pretty wealthy, you know—splendid house and grounds in the Essex countryside. Your duties won't be too arduous—you're bound to have more time to yourself than you do here."
Still I could say nothing.
"You've seen what a capital fellow Woodville is, and his sister's a jolly nice girl. I'm sure you'll like her." He paused. "Lou?"
I managed to find my voice. I tried to speak calmly, although inwardly I was shaking. "I thought you meant—I thought you were letting me to go to London—to study medicine..."