"It was my duty."
He shook his head slowly. "It was suicidal. You're incredibly brave, Ivy. You're strong and courageous, but that was insane, and I wish you never had to face that."
I wished that too. My thoughts floated back to headquarters, and I wondered if I'd ever be able to walk in there again and not think about fighting the prince or what he said.
Halfling.
A shudder rolled through me. Did the prince think I was a halfling? There was no way—no way. An ancient had been near me when I bled before, but . . . but the prince had been right on me when he sensed it.
He'd tasted my blood.
"Hey, let's not talk about any of this." Ren brushed his lips across my temple. "Okay?"
But I had to ask. "Do you think she was compelled? Val?"
"I don't know, Ivy. It's possible, but . . ."
I suddenly wanted to cry. The likelihood of her being compelled was slim. Compulsions didn't last forever unless they were feeding on her, and if that was the case, she was probably already too far gone.
She was already gone.
Without asking, I knew orders to bring Val in had been placed by the Order, and it would be a dead or alive sort of thing. Mostly dead. Because other Order members would be gunning for her ass. Her betrayal hurt just as badly as the prince opening a can of whoop ass on me.
Ren swept his thumb over my hand, and I forced a smile even though it wasn't the most pleasant of all feelings. "How bad do I look?" I asked.
"You never looked better."
"You're such a liar. I can feel how much of a hot mess I am right now."
He raised my hand to his lips and kissed the center of my palm. "You're here. I don't care how you look. Not when I thought I'd lost you."
My heart expanded in my chest, and I almost—almost—said those three little words. Our gazes collided and held. "Did you think you'd get rid of me that easily?"
Ren smiled, showing off his dimples. "Honey, that's the last thing I ever want."
~
Sunday evening I was discharged from the hospital and was immediately whisked away to my apartment where I discovered that while I'd been out like a burnt out light bulb, Ren had actually checked in with Tink.
That alone almost sent me back to the hospital.
According to the hyped up brownie, Ren had stopped by daily, giving him updates and had not once been 'naked' or tried to kill him. When I looked at Ren, he'd actually looked embarrassed as if he'd been caught fraternizing with the enemy.
While my injuries could've been worse—should've been worse—I was exhausted and ended up spending most of Sunday through Tuesday in bed with both Ren and Tink catering to my every need, which was interesting to see those two sort of working together.
I had no idea how I was going to make up all the time I missed in class. Talking to my advisor was on my immediate to-do list once I didn't look like I shoved my face through a meat grinder.
Tuesday evening I'd migrated out to the living room. Ren sat at the end of the couch, and I was tucked between his legs, resting against his chest. I'd finally upgraded from soup to real food, which meant I'd devoured half a box of pralines while Tink forced us through a marathon of Harry Potter movies.
"Do you need to repeat every single line from the movie?" Ren asked at one point.
Tink huffed. "It increases the enjoyment of the film."
"Maybe for you, but not for the rest of the world," Ren muttered, and I smiled.
I ended up falling asleep there with Tink sitting on the other arm of the couch, and Ren with his arms looped carefully around me. Every night since I got out of the hospital Ren had stayed with me, and he'd been there when I woke up in the middle of the night, a scream echoing in my ears. And he'd been there to ease the terrors that plagued me in my sleep. I had no idea what I was dreaming about. Each time I woke, there were no images.
On Wednesday, Ren headed back to work, and tomorrow, if I was feeling up to it, I would head into the Quarter to see David. With us losing so many members, I needed to get back out there. Not that anyone was pressuring me, but I needed to.
I needed to find Val.
That was going to be priority number one, and while I knew David and the Order members were looking for her, no one knew her better than I did. No one. I didn't plan on telling Ren, since I knew he'd flip, but I had to try and find her.
Shuffling into the bathroom, I cringed as I got a good look at myself. My left eye was now opened to a thin slit. The entire left side of my face looked like someone had smacked me with grape and strawberry jam. My lower lip was swollen and torn in the middle. I looked like road kill with greasy, limp curls. Hot.
I heard the front door open then Tink shouted, "Aren't you supposed to be at work?"
"You're not my keeper," was Ren's response.
Curious why he was here as it was only seven in the evening, I ambled out to the bedroom just as he filled the doorway. Concern immediately blossomed in the pit of my stomach. "Is everything okay?"
He grinned as he strode toward me, one arm behind his back. Over his shoulder, I saw Tink hovering in the air. "I just wanted to stop by real quick. Make sure you're okay."
"You could've texted me . . . wait." I sniffed the air. "What is that I smell?"
He stopped in front of me, moving his hand out from behind him. He was holding a bag from Café Du Monde.
Tink squealed like a fifteen-year-old girl at a One Direction concert. Zooming into the room, he snatched the bag from Ren's hand and flew out. Ren turned, frowning. "Save one for her, you little ass!" He turned back to me, narrowing his eyes. "I really don't like that thing."
"I'm sure the feeling is mutual, but thank you for the beignets."
"It was really just an excuse to see you." Reaching out, he started to unbutton my cardigan. "I hate the idea of leaving you alone right now."
I watched him as he lined up the buttons with the correct holes since I'd haphazardly clasped it together. "I'm not alone."
"That little freak doesn't count."
"Hey. He's my freak."
Ren shook his head then cupped my unmarred cheek. "Are you sure you're okay? I can talk to—"
"I'm okay. I swear. I plan on taking a shower, then crashing on the couch, and hopefully, if Tink doesn't devour all of them, eat sugary goodness until I pass out."
"Okay." Dipping his head, he gently kissed the corner of my lips. "I'll be home as soon as I can."
Home? Here? Here was home to him? Oh my God, my heart swelled to the point I thought I'd float up to the ceiling. I don't even know what I said to him when he left, but I was still standing in the middle of my bedroom like a doofus.
Oh God, I was head over heels, drowning underwater, in love with Ren—with Renald Owens. I was in love with a dude whose real name was Renald. This wasn't the first moment I realized that, but each time I thought it, it shocked me straight to my core.
Shaking my head, I turned to head back into the bathroom when my gaze danced over the dresser. I stopped, my heart feeling like someone had taken a tack to a balloon.
Ren had retrieved the thorn stake I'd dropped during my fight with the prince. Right now, it was on my dresser, lined up with my iron stakes.
Halfling.
I shut my eyes. It didn't make sense. The prince was just being . . . creepily weird. But that didn't explain what he'd done before Ren and the others showed up. He'd . . . put his hand on my chest and I felt this warmth inside me. I think he'd healed me. I know he did. That was the only reason why I was standing right now and not in an urn. But there was no way. I took a step toward the dresser, then another.
There was one way to find out. I knew what would happen if I cut myself with the stake. Either I would bleed normally and end up feeling stupid—ridiculously stupid but happy. Or it would . . .
I reached out, picking up the stake. I shook my head again and started to put it back on the dresser, but I cursed under my breath and opened my left hand, palm up.