Sadie arrived at the funeral of a cat wearing her black coat over her navy-blue dress. It was cold outside. The ground was frozen. So the children had had trouble digging the grave. Their knuckles were all red from the effort. She brought a small Bible with her. It was useless, since animals don’t go to heaven. But the children appreciated any nod to ceremony.
After the cat was buried, Sadie took out the eulogy she had tucked into her breast pocket and read it to the assembled children. “Although this cat was not much bigger than a sock, he was loved enormously. Although he was named Gaston, he will be remembered as the Black Cat with Four White Paws by people in the neighborhood forever. He had a very funny meow. It sounded like a baby crying. It sounded like it was unhappy. Then we would check on it and it would be happy. And that made us happier. He had such a funny way of making us happy. As long as we remember, we will remember him. Because we always remember friends.” Sadie then folded the paper and put it solemnly back in her pocket, not believing a word she had just read. The snowflakes landed like tiny stars in her black hair.
Whenever she walked down the street and a child whose pet’s funeral she had officiated passed her, the child would often stop, thinking they were friends, and greet Sadie amicably. But Sadie would look at them coolly, as though she had no idea why they might believe themselves to be on the same level as her, and she might nod but would then move on.
* * *
By the time Sadie met Marie, her mother had entirely given up on her. She still hoped something about Sadie’s personality would improve so she would not hinder her brother’s marriage prospects. He had enough going against him without alienating an eligible woman with a disagreeable sister-in-law.
She allowed Sadie to retreat out of her line of vision. She decided not to observe her. As though she were a stain on the wallpaper your eyes eventually train themselves not to see. Sadie was safe in this space. She existed outside of her mother’s gaze. And she was content there.
And then Sadie befriended Marie. Her mother believed everything could begin all over again.
CHAPTER 4
The Friendship
Sadie Arnett arrived at the park one windy summer afternoon when she was twelve. She looked for a bench on which to sit in peace and read the book she had brought with her. Sadie’s mother had insisted she go for a walk. Taking a constitutional was important, according to the family’s physician. There was always a male doctor who was determining what were appropriate activities for young women. Who knew how they decided these things?
Sadie thumped down on the bench, her hair bouncing freely about her head, and settled into her book. Sadie’s attention was dragged from the story only when Marie Antoine stopped in front of her. She had an enormous book balanced on her head. It was as though she were indicating to Sadie that this was the appropriate way for a young girl to use a book. Marie spread both arms to the side and balanced on one foot. She bent her right elbow and touched the tip of her nose with her finger and did the same with the left. She then smiled, relaxed her limbs, and moved on.
Sadie did not know what to make of Marie. She was behaving in such a painfully idiotic manner, she had to be aware it was foolish. She was instantly enchanted by Marie. She couldn’t concentrate on her book afterward. There was something about this girl that made Sadie want to know her, that made her think she might be fascinating. She was probably wrong. Whenever she had been introduced to girls before, she felt they were painfully inferior and she was miserable afterward. They made her feel as though the world could only be considered a disappointing place filled with boring people. She didn’t know how she would make it through her whole life.
The next time she saw Marie in the park, she had a girl on either side of her, their arms interlocked. The girls were rapt with whatever Marie had to say, while Marie looked as though she were basking in the light of their attention. Suddenly, Marie ran off from the other girls to the side of the pond, where she began blowing kisses at the swans. Marie then confessed her love to a swan who was paddling away from her.
“You can’t leave me. I’ve done nothing but love you. I’ll do anything! You’ve ruined me socially. No one will have me after you’ve rejected me. Please, you can’t do this to me. I shall drown myself for you. You are so handsome. Swans mate for life. I won’t be able to bear it.”
Sadie found it very peculiar. It was as though Marie were a character in a novel. She had snuck off the pages of one the books Sadie was reading. Sadie wondered what it would be like to speak to a character in a novel. They always spoke about things that mattered, or that revealed their character. Even their small talk was heartbreaking.
Marie’s friends were blushing. They would never be so bold to speak these words aloud. They glanced around nervously to make sure no one was listening. Sadie was immediately angry with the girls. She knew they were not worthy of Marie’s friendship. She wished Marie would turn around and tell them she was not really their friend. She needed a friend who wasn’t ashamed of her brilliance.
The next time Sadie saw Marie at the park she was standing in a circle of stones as the sun was going down. A ring of girls surrounded the stones, while Marie stood in the middle of it with her arms spread and daisies in her hair.
“Fairies! You must come for me,” Marie cried out. “I am willing to come to your world. I will be immortal and I will be your queen. I will lead your armies into battle against trolls. I will risk my life again and again. I am called from the higher forces to be your leader. I will renounce my family and my name. I will no longer be Marie Antoine. I will be Titania Fae, Queen of the Fairies!”
She raised her hands in the air. The groups of girls looked at one another, having no idea what they should do at this point. They were unable to do anything unless Marie told them. They were too timid to lose themselves in an imaginary world.
“Go, go!” exclaimed Marie.
The girls all took the lids of the jars of fireflies they were holding, and suddenly Marie was surrounded by a galaxy of twinkling stars. Sadie thought it was breathtaking.
Marie had also noticed Sadie. She was curious why they weren’t already friends, especially since she was adored by every girl in the neighborhood. It never occurred to her that someone might dislike her. She felt so peculiar around Sadie. She felt herself wondering whether Sadie liked her. She was more curious about Sadie than any other girl. But she did not know how to approach her. What she was feeling was intimidation, but she did not know this because she had never experienced it before.