Marie began to think of the poem in a different way. It had hidden meanings. Sadie was offering a completely opposite reading of Goblin Market. The audience was silent and troubled, but they were also rapt. They were quiet at the end, pondering the darkness Sadie had revealed to them.
In any case, the two readers had both broken many rules about what it meant to be a young woman and had gotten away with it.
* * *
The judges took a longer time deciding on a winner than they usually did. And when the judges came back, they made an announcement that would have far-reaching consequences and wreak havoc on many lives. They decided that there had been a tie that year. There would be two winners. The judges had decided the girls were both so eloquent, they couldn’t decide who to give the ribbon to. Sadie and Marie were both given first-place ribbons.
If the judges had decided then, once and for all, which of the girls was superior, it would have saved an awful lot of trouble. The girls might have accepted their ranking. One would have been slightly superior and proud of it. And the other might have reconciled themselves to a secondary role. But to posit they were equals put each of them in an impossible situation vis-à-vis the other.
This was absurd to both Sadie and Marie. How could first place be given to two children? They both knew it was a lie.
* * *
After the girls were awarded their ribbons, Marie was surrounded by a swarm of girls and their parents, all of whom wanted to congratulate and compliment her. Sadie stood off to the side, all by herself. Nobody could even look her in the eye.
Sadie didn’t feel as though she had won. She didn’t even feel as though she had tied for first place. She felt she had been robbed of the award. Her interpretation was better; she was sure of it. But the judges refused to let an unlikeable girl like her win the competition.
She felt bitter that night in her bed. She closed her eyes. She imagined inviting Marie to come cycling with her along the river. She imagined the wind blowing Marie over into the water. It would be very hard to swim in the type of fancy dresses Marie wore. She would probably drown.
The only manner in which she could get over her feeling of rejection was to fantasize about Marie dying in strange ways. In these fantasies she always went to great lengths to save Marie but would never succeed.
She had a fantasy wherein Marie fell through a hole while skating on a thin patch of ice on the river. She imagined lying on top of the ice, banging on it. And Marie banged from the other side of it. It was very macabre, but it was wonderful. Marie would be lifeless underneath the ice and Sadie would be staring at her, alive, alive, alive.
* * *
Marie felt like such a phony after obtaining the ribbon. Everything she took pride in was a lie. People had complimented her because she was rich and for no other reason.
She wasn’t especially pretty. She was fat and blond and silly-looking. She still looked like a harmless baby. On the other hand, it was impossible to keep one’s eyes off Sadie. She was going to get prettier and prettier the older she got. Whereas Marie would become fatter and more ridiculous and people would recall how adorable she had been as a child.
Sadie would become more and more brilliant. Marie would always be an idiot.
She had been told she was better than other girls her whole life. It wasn’t true at all. Other girls had been holding themselves back so she could win. She was held up as a standard of success, and because the bar was so low, all the other girls were idiotic.
Marie put her head against her pillow and wept, wishing she had never met Sadie. She wanted to go back to feeling the way she did about the world before meeting her blackhearted friend.
* * *
Nonetheless, the two girls found themselves in Marie’s garden talking about poetry less than a week later. It was a beautiful day. The clouds were like the tutus of ballet dancers dropped all over the floor. The dandelions had sprung up like a group of eggs had hatched the night before. The girls were discussing the duel scene in a play they had seen.
“Why would anyone agree to a duel?” Marie asked. “You’re risking your life to make a point to someone you don’t like.”
“Sometimes two people can’t be alive at the same time. Because they both want the same thing. They hate each other so much that if they both stay alive, it will negate both their existences. So it’s a simple solution if you think about it.”
“But I think they should be able to work it out,” Marie said, her face scrunched up in thought. “I don’t know what killing each other will do. Even if one person is dead, do you really stop hating them? You might go crazy because you will never be able to make peace with that person.”
“No, no, no. Some people can never be friends no matter how much they try. They try again and again and it just makes things worse. There is nothing they can do about it. That’s the thing about mortal enemies, they can never stop trying to destroy each other.”
“Shall we play at being in a duel?” Marie suggested.
“Absolutely,” Sadie said.
“I don’t mind dying.”
“You always get to die,” Sadie complained.
“Let’s both die.”
“Perfect!”
“And shall we murder each other with our fingers?” Marie asked.
“I’ll borrow my father’s guns. They are so beautiful.”
* * *
After a brief trip to her house, Sadie returned out of breath, holding a box with her father’s guns inside. She opened the lid for Marie to admire how beautiful they were. Sadie took the box of bullets out of the side and put them on the bench, so no accidents would happen. They went deep into the labyrinth in the backyard together.
CHAPTER 5
Louis Antoine and His Conquests
The maid Agatha was getting dressed very slowly by the window. Louis’s favorite thing was to watch maids get dressed and undressed. He appreciated when they did it slowly. Agatha, however, wasn’t doing it to please Louis but because she didn’t want to go back to work. She considered making love to be part of the job. She considered getting dressed to be her own time. She was lazy about it. She watched a dove tossing about in the sky, looking like a young boy pulling his white shirt over his head.