“You already are more than that, Estrella,” he said, his voice softening as he reached up to cup my cheek with his hand. “There has never been a moment in the time I’ve known you when you’ve been anything less than extraordinary.”
I cocked my head to the side, the corner of my mouth tipping up in amusement. “Even when I fell down the ravine?”
“Okay, maybe you were less than extraordinary then,” he chuckled, releasing some of the tension between us.
“I need you to be okay with me going my own way during the day. There’s no chance that we can have a life here and not ever separate. We’ll have different purposes and duties; I want to contribute to their cause. To our cause,” I said, correcting myself. I may not really be a part of the Resistance yet, but I was one of the Marked that they stood to protect.
I wanted to help the people like me who stood no chance of escaping the Fae on their own. The ones who’d lost everything they’d known and loved when their entire villages turned on them.
Caelum clenched his jaw, leaning forward to touch his lips to my forehead before he spun and stripped the weapons from his body. He laid them down next to the bedroll, even though there were still hours left before night fell. “Alright, Little One, but I have some conditions of my own.” He patted the space next to him as he dropped onto the bunk, giving me precious little choice but to hear him out.
Relationships were about compromise; the least I could do was listen to his version of it. The thought was jarring, as I realized that, at some point in our traveling together, I had started to think of this as a relationship.
Fucking damn the Gods.
I strode forward, taking the seat next to him even as my heart throbbed in my chest. I shouldn’t have had feelings for this testy man who seemed to piss me off as much as he made my heart flutter. “No matter what tasks the day takes us to, we spend our nights together. If one of us is needed on a trip outside the safety of these tunnels, we both go together. If we die, we die together,” he said, the words echoing through the room with something that felt significant. The air seemed to still momentarily in acknowledgement of his vow, as if the ancient witches themselves had heard him and lent their power.
“Together,” I said, agreeing to those terms with only a moment’s hesitation. I couldn’t recall when it had happened, couldn’t identify the moment he’d taken my heart, but I no longer wanted to think of my life without him in it. As long as I had the freedom to be who I wanted, I could sleep by his side at night.
It was scarcely a hardship.
25
Caelum pulled back the curtain to our private room, sewn from scraps of fabric and thick enough to block light and some sound, stepping into the warren of tunnels. I followed behind him, keeping close in my uncertainty with the new place, and with the new people who would be our neighbors if we stayed. Being a woman had taught me more than I cared to admit about needing to read the room and figure out where my place would be with those around me.
In Mistfell, most of the time I’d needed to pretend to be a demure lady, saving herself for marriage, but every now and then I’d found companionship with people who allowed me to be myself.
With my family. With Loris.
My heart panged with the loss of all of them, hoping that my mother was coping and surviving in the chaos that must have come after the Veil shattered. There was no one left to protect her; not when Brann had come with me and died for it. He’d have been better off staying with her and trying to hide from the army of Fae that had most likely descended upon Mistfell.
“You alright?” Caelum asked, touching a gentle thumb to the side of my jaw. I nodded, not quite able to find the words to answer him. I would survive, but it was hard not to feel like I’d left the girl I’d been back home.
We continued down the hall of doorways and alcoves, the only light in the space coming from the torches that lined the stone corridor. The walls pressed in on me, oppressive and nauseating. I’d always loved the darkness, but something about being locked away under the ground was unnatural—unnerving.
I trailed a hand over the rough surface as I took a deep breath of humid air. The warmth inside the tunnels was a blessing; my cloak had been left behind in our shared bedroom as I wouldn’t need it, but I craved a lighter dress, as well, or a shirt like the men’s to pair with the leggings, instead.
We finally emerged into the common space where most of the Resistance appeared to congregate. The room was circular, with the ceiling in this part of the underground cavern curving to an apex at the center. Wooden posts acted as support, wedged between the rough stone floor and the high ceiling above. The space felt less claustrophobic than the tunnels we’d traveled to get here or the small bedroom Caelum and I shared, the space above my head serving to give me room to breathe.
I paused to look around, taking in the dozens of people socializing and talking over wooden tables with maps laid out on them. Caelum and I exchanged a glance between us as we debated whether we should introduce ourselves or wait for someone to notice us.
It didn’t take long; only a few moments passed before the people who hunched over the tables and the documents spread out on them sensed the strangers in their presence. Most of them had seen us come in earlier, but they hadn’t made any move to approach, as if they knew we weren’t both enthusiastic about being here.
Caelum’s steps faltered as we walked into the center of the space, making our presence fully known and waiting for someone to approach. I was far too uncertain to make myself at home and introduce myself, especially with the tension rolling off of Caelum that set me on edge.
I turned to look at him, following his pointed stare to a woman who stood lurking in the background of those bent over the tables. One of her eyes glowed like moonlight, shining out from her umber skin, whereas the other was as dark as the night sky. Her hair fell in long waves, curling around her shoulders like freshly fallen snow. She was absolutely, heartbreakingly beautiful with flawless skin and lips painted red.
She raised a hand to the moon that shone on her forehead, casting a soft glow on her fingers that were tipped in darkness, shimmering like the starlight of the Veil itself.
Those eyes were fixated on Caelum, returning the intensity he gave her. My attention shifted between them, feeling something pass that I didn’t understand.
My suspicions rose, my stomach dropping like lead. They knew each other, I realized with another twist of my gut.
Caelum turned to me, wrapping an arm around my back, soothing parts of me that he shouldn’t have been able to touch; the wounded girl who didn’t want to admit I wouldn’t stand a chance of holding onto him.
It was why I never should have let him under my skin in the first place.