Vain

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

 

 

 

 

 

We buried Karina at the new property within twenty-four hours because there was no way to preserve her body. It was just as well, none of us would have grieved her properly even if we had been able to keep her for a few more days.

 

That night we took the children to the CHU’s, pairing the older kids with the younger kids so they had someone to watch over them as well. None of them took the news of her death well but a handful of children were beside themselves and it took days to get them to feel they were out of harm’s way.

 

Charles fell into a deep depression, tending to keep to his CHU a lot. We would take him trays of food but they only sat near the edge of his cot. It seemed we were going in just to replace the old untouched food but I was diligent. Eventually, he would need to eat and I wanted it to be available to him when the time came. Poor Charles, every time I’d knock and enter, he’d be still on his cot but would always roll over to smile at me, pat my hand and tell me I was good girl. I would keep a brave face for him but the second that CHU door fell closed, I’d have to stifle a sob.

 

Pembrook arrived two days before he was originally scheduled which helped a lot. The second their plane touched down in the field next to the new community he’d asked where Charles’ room was. They’d disappeared inside and I’d only gotten to see him when I took them both dinner that night.

 

Pemmy hugged me tightly and I returned the hug, a little piece of security fitting back into place. I knew it would take awhile for it ever to go back to rights and I wasn’t even sure if it ever would completely. My whole world had been knocked off its axis. When I thought I could find solace in Ian’s arms, I’d discovered that he was entirely too busy, too exhausted and too frayed for me to expect anything out of him fairly. In fact, I worked tirelessly to appease any burden I possibly could for him. Selfishly, I admit it also made me feel closer to him. He was so closed off he felt unattainable.

 

He was running Masego by himself, while overseeing construction, arranging for meal preparations, and so on and so on and so on. He was stretched thin, very, very, very thin.

 

 

 

Which is why I hadn’t mentioned his mom ringing me a few days after we’d buried Karina...

 

 

 

“Hello?” I asked, not recognizing the number on my sat phone.

 

“Miss Price, this is Abri Aberdeen.”

 

I was perplexed. “Hello, Miss Aberdeen. How are you?”

 

“I’m fine. Thanks. I need to talk to you.”

 

“I figured as much since you’ve rang my sat phone. It must be fairly important for you to be calling now,” I nettled, “seeming as we just buried Karina. Did Ian let you know?”

 

“Yes, yes,” she flippantly acknowledged, “I’m very sorry and all that but...” And all that? “I needed to speak with you.” My blood boiled in my veins.

 

“I can see that it must be urgent then. Is there something the matter?”

 

She cleared her throat. “I, well, I need to be blunt with you, Miss Price.” She paused.

 

“Go on.” What? Do you need an invitation? Or are you hesitating because you know you’re about to do irreparable damage?

 

A lazy, curling unease settle throughout my entire body and I tensed, preparing myself.

 

“I need to know the extent of your relationship with my son.”

 

“I’m sorry?” I guffawed.

 

“Are you with him? Together?”

 

I choked on my own words. “Why would you need the clarification? What is it any business of yours?”

 

“Because!” she exclaimed, all politeness evaporated. “Do you know who I am? Know my political aspirations? If the media caught wind that you, of all people, were with him, they would have a field day with it! I can’t afford this right now. I need all media outlets in my corner. I’m the leading candidate right now!”

 

I barely smothered the scream ready to erupt from my throat. “Abri,” I said in the most collected voice I could conjure, “I don’t have time for this right now. We just buried Karina. Do you know how much she meant to your son? And we're relocating the entire orphanage, Abri. Excuse me if I’m not able to see how important this election is to you. Truly, I hope the best for you but the fish in my fry pot are so big, the oil is spilling over, burning everything in its path.”

 

“What if I could fix it for you?” she asked, her voice tinged with desperation.

 

“What could you possibly do?” I asked, curious.

 

“I have political ties in L.A. I can arrange for you to come home early. Would that be enough?”

 

“You’re kidding me. You must be.” I laughed. “Abri, I’m sorry but I don’t need nor do I want your “help”. I would stay here regardless if you got me a reduced sentenced. I need to go. Have a good day.”

 

“One more thing, then,” Abri said, her voice seething. “Leave Ian be or I will cut him off. He will never again see a dime from me.” Then she hung up.

 

 

 

I’d hung the sat phone up, shaking from how angry she’d made me. Bribery! Threats! I’d hung up with her that evening trying very hard not to feel the restlessness our conversation had given me. I wasn’t joking with her, I had about a million things on my plate.

 

Little did I know, her unreal request would be the loose thread that would unravel my entire world.

 

The day before Christmas Eve, things felt to be steadying out and looking hopeful again. We would surprise each child with a new outfit, new shoes and two toys Christmas Day, the construction was moving forward seamlessly, and even Charles had come up for air to help every once in awhile. Yes, I, we, had every reason to be hopeful.

 

I woke that morning to a knock on my CHU.

 

“Pembrook? What’s up?” I asked, smiling.

 

He looked visibly put out. “May I come in?”

 

“Of course,” I said, swinging open my door for him. He sat at the little chair at the little built-in desk and I sat across from him on my cot.

 

“Just spit it out,” I said, burying my head in my hands. “I don’t think anything you say could make our situations any worse.” He shook his head in answer and my stomach dropped. “What is it?”

 

“Somehow the courts became aware of your unscheduled trip to Cape Town. A warrant for your arrest has been issued and you have until January second to turn yourself in.”

 

I stood, my hands going to my head. “There’s no way,” I said, beginning to pace. “She wouldn’t.”

 

“Who wouldn’t?” he asked.

 

“Abri Aberdeen. Ian’s mom?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“She called a few days back and essentially threatened me to leave her son alone. She felt the match imprudent considering both our background stories, felt it would be detrimental to her current political goals. She wanted me to promise to leave him alone.”

 

“Preposterous!” Pembrook exclaimed.

 

“She’d admitted to having political ties in L.A. There’s no other person I could think of who would do this. Would my father have done this?” I asked Pemmy.

 

“No, he knew of the trip, was ecstatic about the potential connection.”

 

“Figures,” I said, laughing. “So that leaves Abri. I just can’t believe she would do this. What should I do?”

 

“You have no choice, Sophie. You’ll return home and face Reinhold.”

 

“I can’t leave them now, Pemmy. I just can’t,” I said, straining not to break down. “It would make things so much worse.”

 

“If you don’t face Reinhold now, your legal troubles will compound. It would be wiser for you to appease them now.”

 

I looked at Pemmy. “He’ll throw me in jail.”

 

He shrugged his shoulders in reply.

 

I smiled at him in disbelief. “I’m paying for my past sins, Pembrook.”

 

“Oh,” he said, taking my hand, “I believe you’ve already paid for them tenfold, Sophie.”

 

“When will you tell, Ian?”

 

Ian! “I can’t tell him. Not now, Pemmy. News that his mother did this would send him over the edge!”

 

“He’s going to know you’re gone, love.”

 

“I know. I think I’ll try slipping out with you tonight when your plane arrives.” I’m a coward.

 

“You won’t even entertain the idea of letting him know his mother did this?”

 

And risk her cutting him off too? Never!

 

“No, I can’t, it would kill him, Pembrook.”

 

“So you’ll let him believe you betrayed him? Is that really a better fate?”

 

I nodded, sure revealing the blackmail tactic would only hurt. “Betrayed by someone he’s barely known six months or his mother?” Not to mention her little threat.

 

“But why be the fall guy? Why allow her to escape this intact?” he asked, suspicious.

 

“Because I love him, more than you could possibly imagine,” I confessed truthfully. Let him take that however he wishes.

 

Pembrook smiled at me but his expression was sad. “How unselfish,” he told me, wrapping me in a hug. “Who would have thought such an unselfish act would, in turn, cause you so much pain?”

 

“Not me,” I confessed candidly.

 

Pembrook left my CHU and I looked around me, certain I didn’t need to take back a single thing. I discreetly gave away all my things, leaving Mandisa my comforter. I would return home with only a single pair of jeans, shirt, boots and toothbrush.

 

Which is why Ian hadn’t thought it anything weird when we went to say goodbye to Pembrook together.

 

“Are you coming?” Ian asked as he passed by my CHU.

 

I nodded, a queasy feeling residing in the pit of my belly.

 

I followed closely, listening to him fill Pembrook in on whatever they would need soon. Pemmy dutifully dictated it all on his pad. I had no doubt Pembrook wouldn’t hesitate in accommodating them. I would ensure it was my money that paid for it all though.

 

I watched Ian’s hands as he gestured when he spoke and even they looked tired. Calluses on his palms and fingers screamed out they needed tending to but I knew him well enough he would ignore the plea. His own needs never came before Masego and that was unfortunate because Masego would always be needy.

 

I looked on him knowing I would be saying goodbye to him soon and that familiar hollowness began to creep within, making me feel cold and alone already. My gut twisted at the thought of how he’d react, how he’d interpret my leaving. I was determined though. I wouldn’t be responsible for his mother making his life miserable not when she so callously and easily made my current life a living hell.

 

When we reached the plane, I yelled at him to stay back with me. He obeyed without thinking much of it, hugging Pembrook goodbye. Charles, whom I’d tearfully said goodbye to earlier, waited for Pemmy below the hatch and they spoke to one another briefly before Pemmy boarded the plane.

 

“Ian,” I said softly, fighting tears.

 

He turned toward me, his concerned expression wounding my already wounded heart. Something in his eyes lit in understanding.

 

“I...”

 

“Don’t you dare, Soph,” he said. A muscle ticked in his jaw. “I swear to God, Sophie Price.”

 

“Ian,” I said, the unshed tears giving way.

 

He edged closer but I stepped back, unable to handle his touch without breaking down completely. He recognized this and grabbed me by the upper arms, bringing me close to him. “You owe me,” he gritted. “Why?”

 

“I- I’ve been given an opportunity to go home and I decided it was for the best.”

 

“Bullshit,” he said, shaking me a little in his frustration. “You’re lying. I know you and you’re lying.”

 

I avoided eye contact, focusing in on the tips of my worn boots. The same boots that worked tirelessly with me day after day caring for Masego. The same boots I wore while falling in love with him.

 

“Look at me, damn it!”

 

I raised my gaze toward him.

 

“Answer me,” he demanded. “Why?”

 

“I- I told you already. My answer won’t change. I think it’s for the best,” I lied.

 

He shook his head back and forth.“You can’t go,” he begged, hugging me to him like he could hold me there forever.

 

“Why?” I whispered in his ear.

 

“Because I’m in love with you.”

 

I clenched my lids and kissed his tanned cheek. “I love you, too,” I confessed...and walked away.

 

“Soph,” I heard behind me.

 

“Sophie,” he pleaded, softer.

 

“Soph,” he barely whispered.

 

But I didn’t answer. I just kept on walking, the tears cascading forth in a sea of excruciating pain.

 

“Sophie Price,” he yelled, agony and animosity lacing each word. I turned to face him. “You leave me like this, alone here, and I’ll never be able to forgive you. Don’t bother trying to come back. You get on that plane and I’m done with you!”

 

My breath hitched in my throat, warm tears spilling anew. I nodded, choking back another sob, and stealed myself. For him. For him. For him, I kept chanting. A large bellowing roar rumbled behind me, shattering my heart into a million pieces. I gulped back my own cry, placing one heavy foot in front of the other, refusing to turn back around. I knew if I saw him, took even a second to gaze on him, I’d forego all threats and ruin any future he may have had if he ever left Masego.

 

 

 

For him, I breathed internally, shutting the hatch behind me.

 

 

 

 

 

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