I brought the bottle back up to my lips, closed my eyes, and forced the bile back down my throat.
There was nothing to say. The guy she knew when we were fourteen was gone. My parents had left me. She’d left me.
I was on my own just like that cocksucker said I’d be.
The stinging nip of hatred and hell crawled its way up my neck and into my head until my nerves burned so badly that I wanted to rip off my skin just to breathe.
I launched the bottle across the room where it slammed against the wall before spilling to the floor.
Goddammit!
Leaving the room and charging down the stairs, I went fucking crazy. I kicked over chairs, smashed pictures, and went to bat with some pottery and crystal. I shattered everything, swinging the fire poker at everything and anything. Every picture that my mother had of me smiling and every fucking figurine that gave the impression that we were a happy household was destroyed. In two hours, the house was ripped apart from top to bottom as I got lost and exhausted.
When all was done, the house was a disaster, and I was covered in sweat.
But I was as high as a kite. Nobody could hurt me if I could hurt them.
Blissfully numb and calm, I parked myself outside on the back porch with another bottle of Jack from my supply and let the rain cool me down. I didn’t know how long I was out there, but I was finally breathing and that felt good. There’s something to be said for acting like a five-year-old and breaking some shit. Control had finally settled over me again, and I just sat there and drank, soaking up the quiet in my head.
“Jared?”
I twisted my head and immediately lost my breath. Tate? Aw, Jesus Christ. No, no, no…
She was here? And in fucking shorts and a tank top?
I turned back around, hoping she’d go away. I didn’t want to lose my shit with her. Or do anything stupid. I’d finally calmed down, but my head was nowhere near straight enough to deal with her right now.
“Jared, the dog was barking outside. I rang the doorbell. Didn’t you hear it?”
Damn, she was so close. I could feel the pull. I wanted to get closer. To sink into her arms until I couldn’t even remember yesterday.
She walked around in front of me, into the rain, and my fingers tingled. They wanted her.
I glanced up, only for a moment, unable to resist the pull.
Jesus Fucking Christ. She was drenched. And I looked down again, knowing what I would do if I kept looking. Her wet shirt stuck to her body, but she tried to hide it by crossing her arms. Her legs glistened with the water dripping down, and her shorts clung to her toned, wet thighs.
“Jared? Would you answer me?” she yelled. “The house is trashed.”
I tried looking at her again. Why? Who the fuck knows? Every time I saw her, I wanted to bury my heart and body inside of her.
“The dog ran away,” I choked out. What the hell?
“So you threw a temper tantrum? Does your mom know you did that to the house?”
And that’s when the wall went back up. My mother. Tate looking at me like I couldn’t control myself. Like I was weak.
I didn’t want to hurt her anymore, but I wasn’t letting her in, either.
“What do you care? I’m nothing, right? A loser? My parents hate me. Weren’t those your words?” Yes, this was easier. Just push back.
She closed her eyes, looking embarrassed. “Jared, I should never have said those things. No matter what you’ve—”
“Don’t apologize,” I interrupted, swaying as I stood up to hover over her. “Groveling makes you look pathetic.”
She yelled something at me, but I was too lightheaded and aggravated to register what she was saying as I walked back into the house.
She followed me inside, and I tuned her out as I dried off the dog. But then she took the control out of my hands again when she rushed to empty my bottle down the drain.
What?
“Son of a bitch!” I ran up to her and tried prying the Jack out of her hands. “This is none of your business. Just leave.” I didn’t want her here to see me like this. She shouldn’t care about me. I’d done nothing to earn it. And I didn’t need it or her!
I jerked the bottle, and her body came flush with mine.
She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. And angry, she was even hotter. A fire was in her eyes, and her full bottom lip glistened from the rain. I didn’t want to stop this for anything. I wanted to lose all of my energy on her.
In more ways than one.
I saw her raise her hand, and my head jerked to the side with the sting of her hand, and I stood there for a moment, stunned.
She hit me!
I dropped the bottle. I didn’t give a damn about it anyway, and I hauled her up onto the counter. I didn’t know what I was doing, but it was out of my control. And for once, I had no problem with that.
She met my eyes, not looking away for a second, as her body squirmed against mine. I shouldn’t be holding her like this. I shouldn’t be crossing this line with her. But I had Tate in my arms for the first time in over three years, and I wasn’t letting go. The more I looked at her, and the more she let me touch her, I was completely hers.
And I hated and loved that at the same time.
“You fucked me up today.”
“Good,” she challenged, and my hold on her tightened.
I jerked her into me again. “You wanted to hurt me? Did you get off on it? It felt good, didn’t it?”
“No, I didn’t get off on it,” she answered way too calmly. “I feel nothing. You are nothing to me.”
No. “Don’t say that.” I hadn’t pushed her away completely. I still had her, didn’t I?
I could smell her sweet breath as she leaned in, her lips moist with heat and sex. “Nothing,” she repeated, taunting me, and I was instantly as hard as a fucking rock. “Now, get off—”
I took her mouth, eating up her sweet little whimper. She was fucking mine, and that was it. Her smell, her skin, everything invaded my world, and I couldn’t see straight. My head felt dazed, like I was underwater, weightless and quiet. God, she tasted good.
I sucked on her bottom lip, tasting what I’d been fucking dying to get at for years. And I wanted to taste her everywhere. I went too fast, but I couldn’t control myself. It was like I needed to fit in all the lost time right now.
Her chest was pressed into mine, and I was between her legs. I tried to catch my breath between kisses. This was where I wanted to be, and why the fuck hadn’t I seen that sooner? She wasn’t fighting me, and I smiled as she stretched her neck back for me, inviting me in. I released my hold and dug my hands into her body, pulling her into my hips, so she could feel how much I wanted her.
She’d wrapped her legs around me, and I ran my hands up her thighs, in complete awe of her soft, hot skin. We weren’t going to fucking move until my hands or mouth had been on every part of her.
As I kissed her neck, she brought my face back up to her lips, and I reveled in how she responded. She wanted this as much as I did.
Hell, yes.
I knew I didn’t deserve it. I knew she deserved more. But I was going to bury myself in this girl or spend my life trying. I couldn’t get her close enough or kiss her fast enough. I wanted more.
I dove for the little spot under her ear, smelling and aching for her. I felt freer with her body wrapped around mine than I had in years.
“Jared, stop.” She pulled her head away from me, but I just kept going. Nope. You. Me. And a fucking bed. Now.
I was about to carry her off when she yelled, “Jared! I said stop!” And she pushed me away.
I stumbled back, shocked out of my trance. Blood raced through my dick like Niagara Falls, my body screaming for her so hard. I stood there, trying to fucking figure out what to say to her to bring her back to me, but she didn’t give me a chance. She just leapt off the counter and ran out of the house.
Goddamn.
I had no idea what the hell I was going to do now, but one thing was for damn certain.
We weren’t done.