She knew she was seven shades of scarlet at the turn of the conversation, and she had only herself to blame. She hadn’t meant to point out his erection, but she’d been trying so hard not to look at it, that it’d been front and center in her mind when her mouth decided to spew its lovely word vomit.
Now, all she could think about was the way he’d worshipped her body the night before. The images taking over her mind, filling up space and leaving none left for any amount of intelligence.
Jaren didn’t move, apparently content to just watch her. Finally remembering how to work her tongue, she shifted from one foot to the other, “I assumed we’d be in a rush this morning?”
“We are.”
“Then do you mind? It’ll only take me a few minutes to get ready.”
He tilted his head to the side, raising a brow. “By all means. I’m not stopping you.”
She huffed, throwing her arms up only to instantly regret it when his eyes shot to the hem she’d inadvertently raised up her thighs. “Privacy, Jaren. I’m waiting for privacy.”
“I know that tunic is clean since it’s mine, so I’m assuming the only thing you need to do is pull on the trousers that are currently at our feet. I’ve seen and tasted most of you already; there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“This is different.” She rubbed her hands over her face, pressing her palms into her eyes.
“Tri?”
Because changing her clothes and freshening up next to him felt intimate, something that lovers did. Was that what they were now? Childhood friends, mates, soul-bonded, and now lovers? It was all too much.
“I spent my entire life…well, almost my entire life, alone. It’s just a little overwhelming to have everything suddenly be so different.” She looked up, meeting his eyes. “I don’t know how to act like your mate or what I’m supposed to do.”
She swore she saw a flicker of hurt and maybe even disappointment cross his face, but it was gone before she could be certain. He stepped closer until only a foot separated them.
“I don’t expect anything from you, Veralie.” She flinched, but he continued. “I don’t want you to act like my mate. I want you to act like you. I’ll support your feelings, no matter what they may be.”
“Half the time, I want to stab you.”
Pleasure shot through her when he tipped his head back and laughed, his smile showing off the canines that had so deliciously nipped at her. It changed his entire appearance. He looked younger, less violent and bitter.
She almost changed her mind and closed the distance between them when he leaned down, grabbing his clothes from the floor.
“Careful, little star. I might like that.” The corner of his mouth lifted, and he walked to the far side of the room, giving her his back while he changed. She considered walking after him but shook the thought out of her head. They shouldn’t linger.
Taking advantage of the semblance of privacy, she put on the rest of her clothes and wrestled her mane back into something a little less scary.
∞∞∞
Everything seemed to be going according to plan until they approached the stable. Vera already knew it would be difficult for them to sneak off with a horse in broad daylight, but now it was impossible.
Three Matherin soldiers were standing near the stable, looking very much like they were guarding it. She remembered from her last trip that there was a battalion of soldiers near Midpath, but it didn’t make sense for them to be guarding a stable.
“They know we’re here.” Jaren’s voice cut through the air, slicing through her thoughts.
She shook her head. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Doesn’t it though?” He speared her with his eyes, frustration and anger bleeding through. “Not even a full day since we left your guard dog, and suddenly soldiers are guarding not just any stable, but the eastern stable? It makes perfect sense.” He shook his head sharply, “Te thori ma trush zhumo dzind.”
“Sparing a man’s life who was only doing his job doesn’t make you a fool. Disregarding a life because it makes your own more convenient would have made you a fool,” she flung back at him.
He stared at her for a moment, and his eyes softened. “We’ll have to walk. As long as we push hard and are careful about food, we should be fine. But I can almost guarantee these are not the only soldiers here. We need to be careful.”
She shook her head again. “How would Trey have had the authority to send soldiers here? He may be one of Eithan’s guards, but he’s still just that—a guard.”
He seemed to consider that as he tucked them farther out of sight. “Does the chinbi srol know who you are?”
“What? Of course, he does. I already told you what Eithan wants from me.”
He gripped her biceps, looking down at her. “Let me rephrase. Who does he think you are? You’ve yet to give me a surname.”
Vera blinked; shame weighing heavy on her shoulders. She still hadn’t told him. She’d all but asked him to fuck her but hadn’t even given him her full name. Gods, she was an ass. “Palacia. The emperor told me my father was a cousin of King Vesstan, although I don’t know how close they were.”
Jaren released her, exhaling heavily, and her brows furrowed. Why did he look like that? What had he expected her to say?
He intertwined their fingers and leaned in close, his breath tickling her skin. “We can’t slink in the shadows and try to sneak out of the city. That’s exactly what they’ll be expecting. We’ll have better luck trying to blend into a crowd.” He paused, a grin teasing the corners of his mouth. “Think you can convince the masses that there’s a cock under those clothes, Varian?”
Her answering grin was nothing short of wicked. She released his hands and raised her arms to tuck her plait into her tunic, but he stopped her. Grabbing her wrists, he held them at the nape of her neck and ran his nose along her jaw. He pulled back, peering down into her eyes, and she melted under the heat of his stare.
“I want to kiss you, little star.”
“You couldn’t wait just a second?” Her voice was breathy even to her own ears. Damn this male and how easily he could fluster her.
“Varian is who Aleron forced you to become. I don’t want to kiss Varian. I want to kiss you.”
She blinked back the burn in her eyes. Isn’t that what she’d always wanted? To be able to be herself and not be punished or judged for it? Wasn’t that why she’d wanted him last night? Not just because of how her body reacted to him physically, but because he saw her.
Sure, he pissed her off and she’d lost count of how many times she’d wanted to punch him, but Vera was beginning to think that was the whole point. Jaren drew passion out of her—pulled and demanded it—and he didn’t shy away, no matter how she responded. He liked her fire.
And she wanted to give it to him. She wasn’t going to let him kiss her. She was going to take it for herself. Closing the last inches separating them, she captured his mouth with her own. She bit his bottom lip hard enough to taste blood, demanding he open for her, and he obliged.