Vera had barely come within sight of their camp when he brushed past her to take his turn at the river. Moving toward the horses, she spoke quietly to them, desperately trying not to think about Jaren half-naked and wet.
She choked on a breath when he returned, his face smooth and clean. Beneath the shadow of facial hair he’d grown, she’d almost forgotten how sharp his jawline was. Had he seriously shaved with nothing but the murky water to show his reflection? And why did she find the image of him bent over the water, gliding his blade across his skin to be so incredibly attractive?
They swiftly took off once they’d all finished. After her quiet confession the night before, Jaren seemed more willing to talk.
“Why are you on Aleron?” she dared to ask.
Jaren was quiet for so long; she didn’t think he would answer. “Duty.”
She nodded, attempting to hide her disappointment at his curt, vague response. “Your duty as a soldier?”
“Yes and no. I swore an oath to King Vesstan. I do whatever he requests of me.”
She glanced up at him, “How long have you worked for the king?”
“Since I was ten.” His hands tightened on the reins and his words were clipped, dissuading her from further questions. He’d likely shut down entirely if she pushed. So, pasting a smile on her face, she asked about Bhasura instead. She wanted to know everything about it.
She listened with rapt attention as he described the vast woods that surrounded Bhasura’s main city, the unique animals inhabited there that couldn’t be found on Aleron, and the soft beauty of their beaches. It was obvious he missed it.
Not once did he provide a single detail about the cities or people, unwilling to share in Trey’s presence. He’d never trust a Matherin guard with that kind of information, especially one who was a personal guard of the prince. She couldn’t blame him.
So, they kept to safer topics. He wanted to know every minute detail about her and how she’d grown up, and in return, he helped her refresh her understanding of their language. Having gone so long without speaking Thyabathi, her pronunciation was abysmal, but she remembered more than she thought she did. She could hold a conversation in it as long as Jaren spoke slowly.
She told him about Elric. How he taught her to care and handle blades, and how she’d badgered him until he’d agreed to train her. Jaren didn’t say much, but he listened with rapt attention, and his noncommittal grunt was enough to tell her he had mild respect for Elric. And for some reason, it made her happy.
When she confirmed their meeting at Midpath had been the first time she’d ever been allowed to leave, she thought he might turn them back to Matherin, just so he could throw a dagger in the emperor’s chest.
His body had transformed into a flesh-covered statue, and he was gripping the reins so tightly, she thought they’d break. He didn’t ask any more questions after that, choosing instead to stew in angry silence.
After a half-hour of him sitting tensed to snap, Vera finally turned to look at him. When he begrudgingly made eye contact, she didn’t say a word, just gave him a small smile and patted his thigh. Although his eyes still looked angry, he’d relaxed under her touch, and they rode in companionable silence for the rest of the afternoon.
Trey never said much, but she knew he’d listened to everything she and Jaren said. He was always alert, and ever since they left, she’d noticed his fingers constantly moving against his saddle. The sight made her sick with guilt, knowing it was her fault he was stressed and his thoughts chaotic.
He pretended to be easy-going, but she’d learned he used humor to brush off his actual emotions. She knew he was upset and anxious about the predicament she’d landed them in, and she didn’t know what to say to fix it.
He didn’t finally start to ease up until Midpath came within sight. The promise of a fresh meal and warm beds instantly improving his mood. But Jaren had them stop a few miles outside the edge of the city.
He was on high alert, and she knew he was tempted to risk traveling without the added provisions, just so they wouldn’t have to take the risk. He locked his spine and crossed his arms as he stared down at Trey.
“I may have threatened her to get her out of Matherin, but from this point forward, she is accompanying me of her own free will. I am not forcing her to go any farther.”
“I wouldn’t let you.”
Jaren smirked. “You’re like a yappy tha, barking to seem bigger than you are, but you’re no push-over, and I respect that. However, this is where we part ways. Make no mistake, I want to kill you.”
He glanced at her but continued speaking to Trey. “I gave her my word, so I won’t. But if she chooses to stay and you try to interfere, it will not end well for you.”
They both looked at her, and Vera fidgeted under the pressure of their stares. She knew what she wanted. And for the first time in her life, she was actually being allowed to choose it.
Stepping towards Trey, she took his hand, “I know you feel like it’s your duty to protect me, but I can protect myself.” She gripped his fingers, her eyes burning, “I’m going with him, Trey. Bhasura is my home, and I want to see it.”
He inhaled sharply, and his face bounced from shock to hurt. He ripped his hand from her grasp, and her heart cracked straight down the middle. His lip curled, causing his nose to scrunch up, and he looked at her like he no longer knew who she was.
“Your home is back in Matherin with the people who love you.”
“That’s a lie and you know it. I only had Elric, and he lied to my face and kept me shut away for fifteen years, pretending it was only for my safety. He cared, but not enough.”
“I care about you, Vera. Prince Eithan cares about you.”
She shook her head. She needed him to understand, needed him to not hate her for her decision. “If he does, it’s only because—”
She choked on her words when Trey went flying backward, his body sliding across the ground. Dust clouds billowed around him, and he groaned. She opened her mouth to yell, but it caught in her throat when Jaren suddenly stood before her, snatching at her face with both hands.
She flinched, instinctively trying to pull away, but his look of utter devastation had her freezing in place. He didn’t appear to be breathing, and he stared at her as if she might vanish into thin air.
Vera’s breathing turned erratic, and her heart started pounding when his piercing eyes locked onto her own. When she finally remembered how to pull in air, his earthy scent was all she knew. It was so thick she couldn’t focus on anything else.
She wasn’t experienced with sensing emotions in that way, but she understood enough to know the sharp change in his scent coincided with the expression on his face. Something was wrong, but she had no idea what.
“Rab ?u mbi thoots pash?” The words came out hoarse like he’d torn them straight from his chest.
She didn’t answer. She couldn’t. She could barely concentrate past the intensity pulsing from him and smothering her. She’d never seen him express anything more than anger and the occasional shock. Nothing like this, and it frightened her.