“We were raised to level the playing field. To right the wrongs of the justice system. There are a lot of bad people in this world and the law rarely makes the right call. We do our homework. We save lives. We keep people safe.”
Noah should tell Adam to go. He’d seen enough murder documentaries to know a sociopath when he saw one, knew anybody who looked at him the way Adam did was probably batshit crazy. But he wasn’t wrong. Killing Noah’s father, no matter how painful it had seemed at the time, had most definitely saved lives. It had saved Noah. He just hadn’t remembered that until he’d forced Adam’s hand and those memories had started floating to the surface.
His skin crawled just thinking of him. He had no idea how or why he’d turned his father into a saint after his death. He’d definitely been a monster. Now, his memories were the monster, lurking in the most unlikely of corners, popping up when Noah least expected and tearing him apart.
Sometimes, it was like it had happened to somebody else, but other days, it was like it was still going on. Sometimes, the only way to quiet the voices was to swallow some pills, drink some alcohol. Sometimes, the drugs were his only safe space.
“Why are you here?”
“I wanted to see you,” Adam said with such sincerity that Noah couldn’t help but smile.
“You just saw me a few hours ago.”
Adam flopped on his back, making himself at home on Noah’s bed, looking way better than he should there. “It wasn’t enough. I needed to see you more.”
“You know I’m not going to have sex with you, right?”
Adam’s gaze darted away from Noah and back again, his heavy black brows furrowing once more. “Okay.”
“So, if that’s why you’re here, you should go,” Noah prompted.
Adam’s brows raised. “But…that’s not why I’m here. So, I’m gonna stay. Okay?”
Noah could only stare at Adam, who was pulling his shoes off and then his jeans, tossing them over the edge of the mattress. “Why are you taking your clothes off?”
“Did you want me to sleep with my boots on?”
Noah’s hands gesticulated wildly. “Why did you take your pants off?”
“Chafing,” Adam said, deadpan.
“You’re certifiable. Like chasing butterflies, bats in the belfry, not all there.”
“That’s rude. I am a sociopath. Words hurt, you know.” Noah opened his mouth to apologize when Adam grinned. “I’m kidding. Do you have more questions or can we go to sleep now?”
Noah’s brain was turning a mile a minute. “Don’t you live in a mansion on the other side of town?”
Adam shook his head with a smile. “No, my dad does. I live in a studio apartment on the other side of town.”
“And why can’t you go sleep there?”
Adam shrugged. “Because you’re not there and I want to be with you.”
Noah blinked at him stupidly. “I—” He broke off. Why was he fighting this? He’d been thinking of nothing but Adam since they parted ways hours ago. “Yeah, okay. You win. Let’s go to sleep. Don’t get handsy,” Noah ordered, secretly hoping he would.
Adam grinned, slipping his way under the covers and holding the comforter up for Noah to do the same. Before he could do anything more, Adam slipped his arm behind Noah’s neck, drawing him against him. Noah let himself rest his head on Adam’s chest, noting absently that it was a different shirt than earlier. Beneath his ear, Adam’s heartbeat thudded steadily, luring Noah into a light doze.
“What’s that?” Adam asked.
Noah’s eyes flew open, looking to Adam, who was staring at Noah’s ceiling. He tried wriggling out of Adam’s grip, but he held him in place. “It’s nothing. Just a project.”
Adam’s gaze cut to his. “I know a murder board when I see one.”
Noah glanced up at the ceiling where he’d tacked up numerous pictures, paperwork, articles, and pictures of possible suspects, connecting them all with red string. “I’m not lying. It’s a project.”
“One involving your father?”
Noah looked up at his father’s picture in the center of his ceiling. “Yeah, something like that.”
“You do know I’m not going to stop asking until you tell me, right?” Adam asked.
Noah sighed. “I’ll make you a deal. If we can sleep now, I’ll explain everything tomorrow. I’ve had a long night.”
Noah startled as Adam lifted his hand and stroked Noah’s cheek. “Okay. We talk in the morning. I’ll take you to get breakfast.”
It wasn’t a question, so Noah didn’t take it as such. Adam’s weight shifted and he lifted Noah’s chin, giving him a soft kiss. “Good night.”
“Good night,” Noah echoed, voice raw.
Adam woke with his arms around Noah, his body tucked snuggly against him. He was small compared to Adam’s six foot two, but he fit perfectly, allowing Adam to all but envelop him when they spooned. He liked the idea of people having to go through him to get to Noah. It was a foreign concept. He didn’t know how to describe it. From the moment he’d seen him standing there, holding that gun on him, Adam had just known he wasn’t going to let him go.
Ever.
He nuzzled his nose against Noah’s neck, inhaling deeply. Noah had said he smelled like sweat, which would have been fine with Adam, but it wasn’t true. Noah had his own peculiar scent, something that evoked a sense memory deep in Adam’s lizard brain. Something that made him think home.
“Are you sniffing me?” Noah asked sleepily.
Adam liked Noah’s voice, not too high, not too deep. Everything about Noah was just right. “Yes.”
He felt Noah’s body shake with laughter. “You’re so weird.”
Adam grinned, even though Noah couldn’t see it. “Other people think I’m charming.”
Noah stretched deeply, craning his head around to look at Adam but making no attempt to leave his arms. “But you also said last night that other people don’t know the real you, so...”