GOD, IT FEELS GOOD TO be home. I’ve been back stateside for the last week, having to debrief up north before I was able to get my ass back to Georgia. It was an impossibly hard week because I knew I was within a few hundred miles of holding my girl. I didn’t have time to call and check in with Dani. I knew that, the second I heard her voice, it would be game over, so I stayed the course and checked in with my dad and Axel as much as I could. So far, nothing’s changed.
My first stop home should have been Dani’s, but I figure she is at work, and that gives me some time to get a shower, change out of the clothes I’ve been traveling all day in, and get to her for what I hope will be a welcome surprise.
I pull my truck up to the apartment and lean back with a deep sigh. Fuck if my body doesn’t relax within seconds of parking my truck. Especially now that I know there will be no more of this leaving shit. I officially have been let go from the program. No more gone for months, going dark with no chance of talking to the ones I love back home. And most important—no more leaving Dani.
We can finally focus on growing our relationship. Making her mine. And I’m never going to fucking let her go. In the back of my mind, I’ve worried that she’s had enough waiting, given up on us before we could even get off the ground running, but I’ve pushed it aside and kept hope.
There is no way that, after all of this time, when we finally have our shot and it will be over before we even get started.
Reaching over the back seat, I grab my bag and climb down from my truck. Then I pause to stretch before I bound up the stairs two at a time. I drop my bag, dig for my keys, and open the door.
The smile on my face dies instantly when I walk into the living room. Every single fear I’ve had since I left comes back but with a soul-crushing force.
My girl.
My fucking Dani-girl is wrapped up tight in the arms of the man I’ve considered one of my closest friends for years. Her back is to me, her head is tucked into his chest, and his arms are wrapped around her tight. He looks up when the door opens, and I can’t even look him in the eyes because of the red haze clouding my vision.
I didn’t think it could get worse. Nope. Never in my wildest nightmares did I think it could be worse than seeing her in the arms of another man. But when she turns at the noise and I get a good look at her, my world stops spinning. Right here, it just stops with an intensity that rocks my foundation.
“The fuck?” I bellow, the sound booming through the room, bouncing off the walls, and making Dani flinch.
“Huh?”
I look from her stomach—her slightly rounded and very obviously pregnant tiny bump of a stomach—and I feel my lip curl in disgust.
“And here I figured you would be waiting with your arms wide open.” I throw my bag down and turn my back on them both.
I hear her gasp just as the door slams behind me. I don’t even pause. The lump in my throat is burning and my eyes are watering. I blink, willing the show of emotion to stop, and thunder my way back down the steps and into my truck with a swiftness that shouldn’t be possible given the way I’m feeling right now.
I just left my heart on the floor up there while my future fell around me.
After hours of driving around, the sun setting in my rearview mirror, I find myself pulling up to the one place I know will give me some peace.
My parents’ house.
Cam’s and Colt’s trucks are gone, so at least I know I won’t have to deal with them. As much as I would love to see my brothers, right now, with my mind as volatile as it is, it would be a reunion they don’t deserve.
Dad’s truck is parked right next to Mom’s minivan. The lights are shining brightly out the windows and onto the front lawn. I sit in my truck for the longest time, still trying to calm my mind.
My throat still locked down with a lump the size of Texas.
I don’t even know how to process what I saw when I walked into my apartment. Dani looked so lost—until she turned to see me—and I still can’t place the emotions that crossed her face, but she almost looked guilty. A feeling I never thought I would see from her. I’ve struggled with the way I’ve felt for her for so long, but never once did I feel guilt.
Then, when I saw her belly . . .
Even with the flash of betrayal, I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she looked with that sign of life growing on her tiny frame.
All the dreams I used to get me through almost seven months of deployment of the future we would live—together—gave me the focus I needed to push through the pain of missing her. All of it, just like our start, is over before it began.
I jump when I hear a knock on my window and look up to meet my dad’s concerned, blue eyes. I’m not sure how my mind knew that he was what I needed, but the second I see him, I let the emotions that were threatening to burst through tear through me.
“Dad,” I lament. My shoulders start to shake, and I don’t even care that the tears are starting to fall from my tired eyes.
His eyes narrow and he pulls the door open. I climb out, slap my arms around his back, and, for the first time since I left home, let him be my strength.
“Jesus, C-man. What in the hell is going on?” He pulls back, runs his hand over his thick, graying hair, and then grabs my chin, forcing my eyes to his.
“I just left the apartment,” I sigh, getting a hold on my emotions. “I’m sorry. I was doing a good job at keeping my shit together.”
He just looks at me, confused, before a flash of understanding flickers through his eyes. “I see. I know it must be quite shock. I’ll admit your mother and I were just as surprised.” His tone gives nothing away, clearly letting me run this show.
“I don’t understand. I can’t even seem to wrap my mind around what I saw, let alone everything that I’m feeling right now.”
He gives a soft laugh. “Yeah, it was a shock for me, too, when it happened to your mom and me.”
I’m explaining what seeing Dani like that did to me when his words register. “What?”
“When I first found out she was pregnant, shock was my first feeling, hands down, but then, when I realized what our love had created . . . Fuck me, that was one of the most incredible feelings in the world. I’ll admit it even made me cry, son. No shame in how you’re feeling.”
“What?” I repeat, shocked.
“Christ, Cohen. Did finding out you’re about to be a dad knock you stupid?”
“What?” I offer lamely, that feeling I had finally rid of in my gut returning.
“Uh, so I take it you didn’t just see Dani?”
“Yeah, I fucking saw her—wrapped up in Chance’s arms,” I snap.
His brows crinkle and he looks at me, waiting for me to continue.
“Wrapped in his arms, Dad. What more do I need to give you. They looked cozy enough that I didn’t stick the hell around.”
His eyes harden, and he shakes his head. I wasn’t expecting the hard hand against my head.
“The fuck!” I shout at him.
“The fuck about sums it up. I never thought I would say this to you, but damn, you sure did fuck things up big time with that idiot move.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I ask, rubbing my head. “That hurt, old man.”
“You really thought she’s with Chance? Had been with Chance? Son, she’s six months pregnant. Do the fucking math.”
“Yeah? I left almost seven months ago.”
“Did you even pay attention in school?”
My mind starts spinning, trying to remember what little I know about the female reproductive system. When the truth hits me—hard—I have to stabilize myself with one arm on the truck.
“Yeah, son. Some stupid shit about the adding two weeks here, taking the time of conception and then adding some weeks—I don’t really know how the hell it works, but I assure you that she is very much pregnant with your baby. Trust me. It was a shock to us as well, but not once did we lose the faith you did in your girl.”
“I fucked up,” I exhale deeply.
“You sure did. Come on. I’m shocked your mother hasn’t broken down the door to see you, and we need to give Dani some time to cool off before you rush over there. I guarantee you, if she’s anything like her mother, the lack of trust you held for her will piss her off, maybe more than it will hurt her. Either way, you have some serious making up to do.”
He walks away, muttering something about raising me better than acting like a douchebag.