“Jeeze, Doc. You make it sound like I’m dying.” I laugh and then wince when my head throbs.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Bad habit I guess. I know pregnant woman don’t usually like us to refer to them as having a condition.” She laughs, looking down at her chart, and doesn’t even notice that the room has gone electric.
“I’m sorry?” I whisper. “What did you say?”
She looks up, noticing my expression before looking over at my parents. I don’t know what she saw there since I’m absolutely terrified to look at my father.
“Oh, I am so sorry. I didn’t realize. With your lab work and the date listed as your last menstrual cycle . . . I’m sorry. I just assumed.”
“What are you saying, Doctor?” my father spits out. I can literally hear the force he had to use to get the words through his lips.
“I’ll need to talk to you daughter in private, and then, when she’s ready, she can choose to share the information we discuss as she sees fit. I do apologize, Mr. and Mrs. Reid.”
I don’t move my eyes from my lap. I keep my head down even through the struggle of my mom physically pulling my dad out of the room. I don’t move when I hear him yelling out in the hallway or when I hear something crash. Not even when the door clicks loudly when the doctor shuts herself in the room with me.
The whole time, my mind is spinning.
Pregnant?
Surely, she’s wrong. She must have someone else’s chart. I remember the question about my last period. I just opened the app on my phone and put what it said. My periods have always been erratic, so I never even gave it a second thought.
“Danielle? Is it okay that I call you Danielle?”
“Dani,” I mumble.
“I’m sorry?”
“It’s Dani. I’ve always hated Danielle. Sounds like a mouthful, so I go by Dani. It works. I don’t get any annoying nicknames. I’m just Dani. Dani Reid. That’s me. Holy shit, am I freaking pregnant?!” I end my verbal vomit on a scream that makes me wince.
“I take it this is a surprise?”
“Very much so,” I tell her, starting to freak out a little.
“How about I go get our portable ultrasound machine and we get a little look. Might ease your mind and make it seem a little more real. Well, once the shock wears off.”
I nod my head, but I don’t speak.
Pregnant.
Holy shit. Cohen is going to freak.
And my daddy is going to go apeshit.
THE NIGHTS ARE SO LONG here.
I’m left with nothing but longing to be home with my family and with Dani in my arms.
It gives me nothing but time to sit and think.
Think about the time I lost with Dani because I was too busy pushing her away.
Time I’m losing now because I’m over in this fucking hell, hunting terrorists.
And the worst feeling of all is that growing ache in my stomach that tells me I have to get home soon. I can’t explain it any other way. It’s a daily struggle to push the feeling aside so I can concentrate on my job and make sure I don’t get blown the fuck up in the process.
One thing is for certain in all of this. This time away from Dani has proven one thing to me. That one night I had with her in my arms will never be enough.
I roll over on the hard ground and close my eyes, and just like the night before and every one since I’ve been here, I see her smiling face.