IT’S HARD TO SEE THROUGH the tears clouding my vision. To see through the sadness my heart feels as I watch him get dressed. Watching him pack his things. Pull on his boots or grab his jacket. All the things I won’t be watching again for months. Little, mundane tasks I’m trying to sear into my mind so I’ll never forget. How his fingers look when he’s hooking his belt through his jeans. How his brow furrows when he’s trying to figure out how to get a little more space out of his carry-on. Even though I know he will come back to me, knowing that we’re starting something so beautiful off with a big, ugly fog surrounding us has me in pieces.
He looks over when he finishes zipping the last zipper and gives me a sad smile. I’m sure my eyes are looking at him exactly as his are gazing into mine. Like this is it and if we don’t see each other again, then we should make this second last a lifetime.
I bring a hand up and angrily swipe away a tear. I hate crying. It’s a sign of weakness, but I’m helpless to stop them. My heart, while full to bursting with the knowledge that he is mine, is breaking.
“Dani-girl,” he says on a sigh. “You’re killing me with these tears.”
He sits on the bed and pulls me into his arms. When his strong arms wrap around me and the comfort that always comes when he’s near sinks into my skin, I only cry more.
“This isn’t goodbye,” he vows.
“Never goodb-b-bye,” I stutter.
“It’s ‘see you soon’,” he whispers.
“Every time I close my eyes,” I promise.
We don’t need words after that. What more needs to be said? I have to believe that, even brand new, we have the kind of connection that can beat anything.
He holds me in his arms for another ten minutes. Ten whole minutes that I feel complete. When his phone beeps, letting him know that his parents are on the way, he gives me a deep kiss before pulling back and standing from the bed.
“Stay as long as you want, Dani-girl. I like knowing you’re in my bed even if I’m not here.” He stops when I let out a big sob-like hiccup. Leaning down over where he placed me in the middle of the mattress, he gives me another long and deep kiss. “See you soon, my heart.” With one more kiss, he stands, grabs his stuff and walks out the door.
I’m not sure how long I stay in the middle of his bed, surrounded by his scent and the memories of the night before. It isn’t until Liam shows up and wraps me in his arms, causing my sobs to double in force, that I realize the sun has long since set and Cohen is likely gone by now.
“Wh-what are you doing here?” I ask when I’m finally able to calm down.
“Cohen sent me a text a little after nine this morning. Told me that, if I didn’t see you by lunch, I was to go find Chance and get the key to the apartment. Lunch came and no Dani, so here I am. Come on, little princess. Let’s get you home.”
Lee turns his back when I move the covers off my naked body, throwing my shorts and one of Cohen’s shirts over his shoulder. When I pull the cotton tee over my head, I know instantly that it must be the one he wore the night before. The scent of him, so fresh and powerful, almost brings me to my knees. I have to bite my lip to keep it from wobbling and victoriously keep the tears at bay.
“Here,” Lee says with a smile. “I grabbed a few more and the body wash and the bottle of that shit he wears off the counter in his bathroom.”
When I look at him like he’s lost his mind, he laughs, throwing the body wash, cologne, and three shirts he was holding in my arms.
“What? You were standing there sniffing that one like you wanted to rub it all over yourself. Might as well make it so you can have some to last.” He shrugs his shoulder, collects my purse from the floor next to the nightstand, and takes my hand before leading me out of the apartment.
Chance is fixing some food in the kitchen when we walk out. He gives Lee one of those manly head-jerk things and me a small smile.
“See you around, Dani.”
I nod, but I know I won’t see him around much. Not now that Cohen is gone.
God, he really is gone.