We all rush closer, desperate for her news.
“Your dad called,” she tells them. “Maddoc finally gets to see a judge tomorrow. He says he should be granted bail, no problems.”
The boys’ shoulders visibly drop, and both look to the sky a moment, but not me. The tension in my stomach spreads through my ribs and wraps around my shoulder blades until there’s a slight ache there.
Maybell, she isn’t relieved. She should be, hearing one of her chosen sons is coming home. She won’t hold their eyes long and she hasn’t looked my way yet.
“He wants to make sure you’re there,” she adds and they both nod instantly.
“Why didn’t he call us, too?” Royce asks her and she gives a small smile, but it doesn’t meet her eyes.
She reaches up and touches both their cheeks. “He knew you’d be there, playin’ the best you could with all this goin’ on here.”
“So tomorrow?” Royce confirms again.
“Tomorrow. Doors open at eight.” She pats them lightly and moves toward me.
She takes a deep breath, her eyes finally meeting mine. She nods glumly. “I told you, child. I told you, you belong here. I need you to start believing it, you understand?” Her eyes grow glossy, but she doesn’t let her tears fully form. “It’s hurting my boys when you don’t.”
I nod, but I’m unable to wipe the frown that’s been in place since she started talking.
She starts down the road and turns back to the boys, but they’re already moving inside, so I follow.
“I’m fucking beat, bro.” Royce pulls off his hoodie and tosses it on the couch.
“Me too, man.” Cap moves into the kitchen, pulling open the fridge. “Sandwiches and chips cool for dinner tonight?”
“Sounds fucking good to me.” Royce plops down and flips on the TV.
Cap lifts his eyes to mine and when he does, his brows hit in the center of his forehead.
“Raven?”
“Yeah.” I nod, fighting not to swallow. “I’m good with that.”
“Raven.”
I lick my lips. I’m not fine.
Maybell didn’t share all she knows.
“Raven.”
“She’s hiding something,” I blurt out.
They eye me, then each other.
“Guys.”
Royce walks over to me and grips my elbows. “She has a lot of secrets, only spills when she needs to.”
“She shouldn’t hide things from you, it’s not right.”
Royce grins, but it doesn’t meet his eyes, then moves to the fridge for a drink.
“I’m serious. I don’t know if you guys have known many people who’ve been arrested, but my mom was, all the fucking time. You’re in court within a day, sometimes released right after booking with a court date to return. This isn’t normal. He hasn’t called and he hasn’t seen a judge. Something is off.”
“If there is something to know, Maddoc will fill us in tomorrow.” Captain looks up and as soon as he sees the annoying unease I can’t hide, his light eyes soften. “I know things don’t work as easy as they should in our world, but we have to believe the moves made without us serve a purpose. And Raven, I guaran-fucking-tee, if Maddoc could call, he would have, and if there was a problem we needed to worry about, he would force a way. He’s sitting, so we’re sitting.”
“But doesn’t his not calling make you wanna fuck shit up just to be put in there with him and find out why?” I ask and both boys laugh.
Royce walks over and kisses my temple. “We love you, our little scrapper, but one more day, RaeRae.”
I look to Cap for confirmation, and he winks, saying, “If it doesn’t happen how we want tomorrow, we’ll fuck shit up, all right?”
I nod, all fucking for that answer and again they both laugh.
Cap makes quick work of finishing up our food, and we’re done just as quick, each of us disappearing into our rooms.
I close my door, change clothes and slide in my bed. I tuck my knife into my sleep shorts, plug in my headphones, and turn on my flashlight.
I stare at the door.
Here’s to another sleepless night.
The ride to the courthouse feels like a million years, but in reality, it only took a solid fifteen minutes to get to the turn-off. Once we’re within eyeshot, though, it feels way too fucking soon and nerves kick to life making me queasy.
“Raven, make sure your knife’s not on you, we have to go through a metal detector,” Cap reminds me.
“Got it.” I slip my switchblade between the seats and glance out the window at the large brick style building.
Captain finds a spot pretty close to the front and the boys get out, but guilt – an emotion I’m not used to – has me delaying.
My hand is on the handle but unmoving, and Royce is the one that has to open my door.
When he gets a look at my face, he sighs and moves closer. He grips my ankle and wrist and pulls me to the door, wrapping me in a hug.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he tells me. “And knock that shit off. This ain’t your fault.”
My eyes pool with tears despite my best effort.
These boys are turning me into a damn mess.
I don’t cry.
“That’s not true and you know it. You’re both mad at me and we haven’t even talked it out yet.” I pull back to look him in the eye. “Maddoc only went over there to fuck shit up because of what I did.”
Royce moves back a little so Cap can squeeze in beside us.
“No.” Captain shakes his head and reaches for my hand. I let him pull me out and to my feet. He bends down a little to look me in the eye. “Maddoc fucked him up because he did what he did. This week, next week, doesn’t matter. You should already know, if you’d have done what you should have and come straight to us instead of acting brave alone like you’re used to, he would have reacted the same. Maddoc is fucking fierce, Raven. He loves us. Would die for us, but we’re his brothers. He’s never loved before. This? This is what that looks like.”